


Una ventana en las estrellas

by Tinaamato09



Category: Alta Mar | High Seas (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Femslash, Introspection, What-If, alternative ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:35:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 64,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26338864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tinaamato09/pseuds/Tinaamato09
Summary: [Casandra x Carolina]Set during 3x04. Carolina has been kidnapped by Carmen and she's resting in her cabin, with Verónica  by her side, while most of the passengers are attending the masquerade ball. What if an unexpected person from Carolina's past came to her rescue?
Relationships: Casandra Leonormand/Carolina Villanueva
Comments: 75
Kudos: 21





	1. I.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello fandom! Since I just couldn't accept Alta Mar season 3 ending, I thought I'd share with you guys what I thought should've happened instead. My fic follows the canon version of the events up until 3x04, but a lot of things about the plot will change, not just in regard to Carolina's storyline but in general (the main villains' motivation, the characters' background, just to mention a few). I've imagined that between season 2 and season 3 there has been a time jump of two years, so you'll also get to see what happened to Casandra and Carolina in Rio during that time. English is not my first language, I apologize in advance for any mistakes. I'll try my best to update at least once a week, or maybe even more often if I manage to find the time. I hope you'll like my story!

At first, Carolina doesn’t understand what’s happening. It’s a succession of colors, sounds and images completely disconnected from one other, which seem to have no meaning at all. Fireworks. Two arms holding her tight. A cry, coming from a familiar voice… Verónica, perhaps? A lifeboat being lowered into the water, the sound of the waves, an uproar, the people on the ship. And then, her face, her eyes. Her voice. There’s just one word she can clearly make out: Carolina. The sound of her own name, pronounced with that intonation, that inflection and that timbre of voice that make it sound like the most unique word in the world; almost as if it were a precious treasure, to be jealously guarded. Carolina is sure, it must be her. She has heard her call her name so many times over the very short period of seven days they spent together that she couldn't get confused even if she wanted to. A word comes out of her lips, just a single one:

-Casandra? - she exhales with a tremor, squinting her eyes in order to try and understand if it’s really her. There’s nothing to do though, she just can't tell. All those days with the blindfolds on, all the tiredness she was feeling, the sedative that she can still feel in her circulation, although it was slowly beginning to disappear, and, as if all this weren’t enough, the strange colored lights that Carolina glimpses in the background make it practically impossible to focus on what’s right in front of her eyes at the moment. She’s lucky that she can even outline the contour of a human face - she thinks she’s seeing the eyes, the nose, the lips… but it's all so blurry and confused that she can’t even be completely sure of that.

Besides, it wouln’t be the first time since she has been kidnapped that Carolina has had strange dreams… like hallucinations. She’s seen so many people: her father, Eva, Fernando, her uncle Pedro, Verónica, Francisca… sometimes she has seen her too. Those are the worst kind of hallucinations: while she’s having them, she can't help but be happy to see her by her side, and she hates herself because she is unable to find the strength to resist and push her away once and for all. Then, as soon as she wakes up she realizes that it's all fake, that Casandra is not there with her and would probably never be; she pictures her wandering around somewhere on the streets of Rio de Janeiro, carefreely enjoying her life. By now, she must have already forgotten all about that stupid blonde girl whom long ago she had played and deceived with such ease. And then Carolina feels even worse, she feels that unbearable feeling of melancholy that had become so familiar to her over the past two years.

Maybe that's just a dream too. She has gotten so used to the sedative that has been flowing undisturbed in her veins for days that she can no longer tell what is real and what is not, when she is lucid and when she is not. Maybe it’s only her mind tricking her, one of the many times, and her brain has only imagined hearing that word, "Carolina"... Maybe because deep down, despite everything that happened, she still wants it to be real. Still, that dream feels different from all the other hallucinations. There is something fundamentally familiar that she cannot identify properly, maybe it's just a feeling... Carolina is now seeing the colored lights on the background becoming more and more subdued, and the loud noises she was hearing until a few moments ago are becoming more distant, almost muffled, while they disappear into the rhythmic and almost relaxing sound of the sea waves. And then, the feeling of a hand gently caressing her left cheek, of fingers playing with and slipping through her long blond hair. It all seems so real...

Carolina manages to regain consciousness only for a brief moment, in which her eyes finally make out the face whose features she has been staring at for an indefinite amount of time, a time that felt like an eternity. She has no more doubts left: it’s Casandra.  
She recognizes her complexion, her deep dark eyes, her long hair, her perfume and the gentleness of her touch. It's her, Carolina is more than sure of it. Her heart skips a beat. Is it really her, did she really come to save her? No, that's not possible… How would Casandra even know that she is in danger? Not even Eva, her own sister, is aware of it. Carolina is confused. She knows that she couldn’t possibly see what she’s seeing, that it must be just another trick of her brain, and yet she just can’t explain to herself why all of that feels so real and concrete. Carolina then notices that Casandra's lips are moving… is she saying something to her? She tries her hardest to catch it, but it isn’t easy, especially given the loud sound of the sea in the background.

-Don't worry, Carolina, I'll take care of you now.

_Who takes care of you, though?_  
_Pero ¿quién te cuida a ti?_

It seems to her that she can still hear her voice, even after all this time. She remembers everything.

-Casandra ... - Carolina manages to say, once again, after gathering her last strength. She still can’t tell if it's real or not, but at this point she doesn't care anymore. She feels her energies slowly abandoning her… until they’re completely gone. Casandra's angelic face disappears at the same speed at which it had materialized before her eyes, and everything around her suddenly turns black. Then, nothing.  
When she finally opens her eyes again, Carolina doesn’t have the faintest idea of what happened, where she is or how much time has passed. The only thing she knows for sure is that she is no longer on the Bárbara de Braganza.  
…

 _Earlier that night_  
Verónica sat in her maid's uniform as she looked at the sky outside the cabin window with melancholy. In the main salon of the ship almost all first-class passengers were attending the masquerade party organized by the management, and if only a few years earlier someone had told her that she would spend that night in an elderly lady's cabin as a nurse to a poor girl covered in bandages and unable to move and speak, instead of in the aforementioned salon, dancing with her Sebastián or looking for a suitor who could live up to her expectations, she would probably have felt like a complete failure. Or, alternatively, she would have tried to wriggle out of the job by asking someone - someone like Dimas, probably - to replace her, or just by sneaking away. After all, what difference could her presence there make? The poor girl lying helpless in her bed certainly wouldn’t miss her.

Now, however, for some reason she was feeling strangely relieved to have all that time for herself and she had begun to find pastimes like that, ceremonies and parties, extremely overwhelming. People were all the same, they’d always talk about the same topics, they’d act almost like following a script. All those luxuries, the social conventions, the constant need to show off one's wealth, one's happiness. During her first voyage aboard the ship Sebastián had given her a taste of that world that had previously only been a mirage for her, and after having toyed with the idea for a while at first, and then with the concrete possibility of living inside it, she had finally realized that it just wasn’t for her. It only made her feel lonely and sad and a bit like one of the many luxury items shown at parties like that one.

Not that the prospect of being alone in a room with an unconscious person was that great, but at least she didn't have to pretend. And besides, Verónica kind of liked Diana. For one thing, she never bothered her, which was a trait that many people sadly couldn't claim to have. Secondly, she had given her a lot to think about. Verónica had always thought she was living a life of hardship, condemned to serve people richer than her, who had always had everything from life, until she had seen with her own eyes that there were things that not even money could give you, and no, it wasn't just a cliché phrase. Looking at Diana, Verónica hinted at a half smile and thought that after all she wasn’t so unlucky. As soon as the party would be over she would immediately go to Eva to warn her of the coded message that Carmen's daughter had sent her, or at least to tell her what she thought she had seen... there was obviously something wrong with all that, but on the other hand she was just a simple maid. She imagined that there was very little she could do in her position to help that poor girl.

It was also true, however, that although at the moment she didn’t mind being alone that much, going outside for a few moments to see the fireworks that would soon fill the sky with bright colors didn’t sound so bad after all. If only Diana could see them too… but no, she was a reliable person. She had made a commitment and she would stick to it, no matter the cost. She thought to herself that maybe she could still get a glimpse from the cabin window, from which she could see the moon and the sky, and all the stars in it. In fact, it almost looked like a window among the stars.

However, a few seconds later the fireworks suddenly became the last of her priorities. Strange noises began to come from behind the door, as if someone were trying to force it. Verónica thought about what Diana had told her earlier about being in grave danger. A shiver of fear quickly ran down her back. Fernando Fábregas's boat was not exactly famous for being excessively safe, given the events of two years ago. And Verónica at that moment was feeling anything but safe. It took very little to get the cabin door open. The next thing she knew, three figures silently burst into the room, quickly closing the door behind them. The girl swallowed, fearing for her life: they were three people that the Bárbara de Braganza had already had the honor of knowing and hosting, a couple of years earlier. Verónica could never forget the face of the woman who had (indirectly) caused her mother's death. Or at least her sister’s.

The sight of Casandra awakened in the young maid the urge to scream out loud, in the hope of drawing the attention of any passengers that was in the area. Even a random person. Anyone. However, unfortunately, she didn’t have the time to do it: after just a few seconds Casandra's faithful butler reached her with the speed of a splinter and quickly placed a hand in front of her mouth, neutralizing all her attempts to get help.

-I'm sorry, miss, - he said in her ear, despite his tone of voice showing no regrets at all, -you’re not our target, if you cooperate we’ll just leave right away, we won’t give you any trouble.

But Verónica wouldn’t stop struggling. Cooperate? What was she supposed to do, stand still while they were trying to kill her, perhaps in an attempt to complete what an alleged ghost had already begun and put an end to her lineage once and for all? Luckily she had chosen not to marry Sebastián and, as a consequence, not to have children...

However, what the man said didn’t seem entirely unfounded. Casandra, who had always been the proud "group leader" within that subspecies of a gang of scammers, had barely even looked at her, which led Verónica to think that perhaps she was not, in fact, the object of her interest. As soon as the door was closed behind her, the woman immediately rushed to the bed on which Diana was lying. Verónica felt another shiver of terror go through her from top to bottom. Diana, of course; how could she’ve been so stupid? It was still her cabin. Could they be the danger she had told her about earlier? Were they there to kill her? In fact, since it was Casandra, everything was possible... but what could they possibly want from her that was so important that they’d risk their own safety in order to get it? There was no doubt that if Fernando or Natalia Fábregas, Eva and especially Carolina had seen them on board, they wouldn’t have hesitated a second to call the police. Besides, hadn't they all been arrested? Had they escaped from prison? Verónica was starting to feel sick, to the point that for a moment she was on the verge of passing out. Fortunately, the strong and oppressive arms of the butler took care of supporting her, at least she wasn’t risking falling to the ground.

Verónica's understanding of the situation was again put to the test when, a few seconds later, as a guy who looked like a teenager approached her to tie a piece of cloth around her mouth, to prevent her from screaming, Casandra looked at Diana’s bandaged face and said, with a catch in her voice: -Carolina, I'm here.  
  
  
Carolina? Maybe she had gotten the wrong person... that was Diana, undoubtedly. Perhaps Casandra was confused and was looking for Carolina Villanueva… But Verónica could swear that Eva's sister was at the party, just like everyone else. She had clearly heard her talk about the dress she was going to wear that night, she couldn't be wrong, she was more than sure of that. And then, judging by Casandra's tone of voice, it didn’t seem like she intended to hurt... whoever she thought she was addressing, whether that was Carolina or Diana... It seemed like she was there to protect her. Verónica was confirmed of that when she looked at the way Casandra gently stroked her face covered in bandages, while whispering something to her that she didn’t manage to catch. No, it definitely didn't seem like the attitude of a serial killer ready to strike.

Verónica officially didn't have the faintest idea what was going on. And she couldn't even ask, since she found herself unable to speak, thanks to the boy who was staring at her with an expression that revealed a slight guilt. The butler had made her sit on the floor while he and the boy had now begun to tie her hands and feet too. Verónica had stopped struggling, sensing that it wouldn't make much sense. She preferred to try to focus her energy on Casandra and try to understand what she was up to, since she had no idea what to tell Eva once they’d be gone and she’d be able to meet up with her.

Meanwhile, Diana had begun to slightly move under her touch, in a way that was very similar to what she did when Verónica approached her and she tried to send her strange, mysterious signals, which apparently the young maid had not been very good at picking up. Casandra must have been trying to reassure her, somehow, even if her attempts didn't really seem successful. Did they know each other? Who was she then, Diana or Carolina? Maybe that simple case of homonymy was a coincidence, maybe it was just Casandra's mistake, even if Verónica doubted it... anyway, the dark-haired woman walked away from Diana for a moment, only to bring her her wheelchair. She gently lifted her body and placed it on the chair, looking ready to run away with her. So was that what it was all about, a kidnapping? Or maybe Casandra was saving her instead? Until a few minutes earlier, Verónica would have sworn she knew the answer, but now she was no longer so sure...

Diana had let her know that she was in danger, but she hadn't been able to tell her who exactly she was afraid of, or at least to give her a hint. If Casandra was her tormentor, why not kill them both there, on the spot, and then run away? Who would have suspected her if no one knew she was on board? And by the way, how did she even manage to get on the ship? Perhaps what Casandra needed was information, and Diana would be no use if they killed her... but it didn't make sense anyway, after all the girl couldn't talk, such a meticulous person as Casandra couldn’t have simply forgotten about such an important detail. And besides, you certainly didn’t treat a person you wanted to take hostage like that.

On the other hand, if they had been innocent and driven by good intentions, why did they have to do everything in secret? Why tie them up? Well, actually, if they hadn't done it she would have immediately started screaming, potentially drawing the attention of other passengers and thus jeopardizing their little operation... her first instinct definitely hadn’t been to sit quietly to listen to the their side of the story. Verónica sighed. Trying to come to a conclusion was basically useless, so she decided to just give up, to wait and see what they would do. However, she didn’t have to wait too long: Diana was in her wheelchair, while the other two minions had tied Verónica up pretty well. What now?

-Well, let's go, - Casandra said, nodding her head towards the door.

-What about her? - The butler asked, pointing to Verónica with his finger. -What do we do with her?

Casandra bit her lower lip, hesitating, while for the first time she looked down at her to meet her eyes.

-It’s clear that if we leave her alive she’ll tell everyone about us and about what she saw... I don't think it would change things much, but it could put us in danger.  
Verónica swallowed. If only they let her talk, she would simply explain that she didn’t have any idea at all of what she had seen and just like that, the problem would be solved, everyone would be happy and could get on with their lives, but unfortunately she wasn’t in a position to do so.

-No, - Casandra finally said, looking back at her affiliate. -We won't kill her. But you're right, leaving her here would be too dangerous.

Verónica sighed with relief, narrowing her eyes. For a moment she had seen her whole life pass before her eyes in a quick and clear sequence. Just for a moment, thankfully.

\- So what? - the boy asked, frowning. Verónica shared his confusion, actually.

-So we're taking her with us, at least for now. And then we’ll decide what to do. Now let's get going, we don’t have much time.

Casandra's butler grabbed Verónica and started carrying her. In those few minutes a multitude of different emotions had been felt by the dark-haired maid: anger, fear, confusion, terror, relief, and now… resignation? Well, she had no idea where the criminal group was headed, or what their intentions were... on the other hand, Verónica was becoming increasingly sure that Casandra didn’t intend to harm Diana, even though she didn’t know why. Verónica had always been good to her, right? She had personally taken care of her well-being, she had taken that weird lighter with her when she’d asked her to, and she had refused going to the most important party of the voyage just to keep her company. It had to mean something, right?

Maybe if she had Diana's protection they wouldn't hurt her either, especially since she seemed more like collateral damage than the real target in all this. Therefore, she decided not to put up any resistance as she was carried up the stairs by Casandra's minion. Even though she really, really wanted to punch him, she certainly didn’t want to risk unleashing his anger and, as a consequence, leading the group to drastically change their decision with regards to her fate. As they walked through the corridor full of empty first-class cabins, the girl sighed. And to think that she just wanted to see the fireworks.


	2. II.

Casandra Lenormand (or Carmen Marín, if you prefer) was really fond of planning, and especially of elaborate, carefully laid-out plans, the kind of plans in which nothing could go wrong because every single eventuality had been taken into consideration, in order to set up a strategy to prevent it in advance and with a clear mind. As a consequence, Casandra hated the unexpected and the presence of that brunette maid (she couldn't even remember her name... maybe something that started with a v?) in Carmen's room could certainly be classified as such. Of course she hadn’t been naive enough to think that Carmen would leave her unfortunate hostage alone. But neither did she expect that the person in charge of watching over her would also be the only one ( _literally_ the only one, if you rule out for obvious reasons Eva, Fernando and Natalia, who were supposed to be at the party) who could recognize her and tell everyone about her presence on the ship. As Erich had pointed out, it wouldn’t probably change much in the grand scheme of their plan. But if Fernando and the others knew she was involved in the disappearance of not one, but two passengers, they surely would try and look for her for quite some time; and she definitely couldn't afford any risks.

Killing the girl, on the other hand, was out of the question: her sister's murderer had paid for her crime and it was all that Casandra had wanted at the time. Yes, in the past she had lied, betrayed, threatened people and done things she wasn’t very proud of… but it was all just for that reason. She had had a clear goal in her mind and she had done everything in order to achieve it. She certainly hadn't taken into account the numerous unforeseen events she had found herself having to deal with in the course of her previous plan, devised with maniacal precision.

But Casandra wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice, and she certainly wasn’t going to allow a maid who had happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time to screw everything up. Besides, she was never going to cause her any harm. As soon as she would manage to get away from the ship with Carolina safely, she would leave her completely free to do whatever she’d like. For now, however, her priority was to escape, and it had to be done as soon as possible. The fireworks were undoubtedly an effective diversion but, as she had just realized, you could never know what could get in your way. As they quickly walked down the corridor to reach the main deck, near which there were the lifeboats where Gloria and Teresa were waiting for them, with all their suitcases, Casandra realized that the ship was slowing down. She wondered if the party guests had noticed it in the midst of all the confusion. However, soon they would undoubtedly do so, just as they would realize that the ship wasn’t moving anymore. Luckily, they only needed a few minutes: just enough time to lower the lifeboat into the water, and then the Bárbara de Braganza would leave as soon as possible. Everything that was going to happen from then on was none of her business, Pierre would take care of it. He just had to stick to his part of the plan, and that was it.

They finally reached the exit, and the group hurried up the stairs to get to the bridge, where they found Pierre waiting for them. As they all got on the deck the officer motioned to one of his fellow officers to stand guard to prevent access in case anyone tried to get close, while in the meantime almost all of the passengers were on the opposite side of the boat, watching the fireworks light up the sky. It was a really good idea, Casandra had to recognize it. While everyone was gathered in one part of the ship to look at the sky, Casandra and her group, plus the unfortunate maid, would flee by escaping with a lifeboat on the opposite side of the ship, where no one could see them. And then, in no time at all, they would reach the nearest shore and finally be safe. They just had to hold on a little longer.

The woman couldn’t help but noticing Pierre's perplexed gaze staring at the poor gagged maid, whom Erich had momentarily left sitting on the floor. The officer's eyes then moved to Casandra, as she immediately understood what he was implicitly asking.

-Collateral damage. I assure you it wasn’t part of the plan... she was in Carolina's room, we didn't know what to do and we couldn't risk her telling everyone about us. We’ll just bring her ashore with us and then we’ll let her go.

Pierre nodded. -As long as you know what you’re doing. Quick, hurry up, we don’t have much time.

In fact, that was true. The ship was stationary for the moment, and even if the fireworks were a good distraction Fernando had surely noticed it, he was probably already talking to the new captain about it, Héctor, who, as agreed beforehand, was supposed to keep him occupied to gain time. Luckily Natalia trusted him, that would work in their favor.

The other two women were waiting for them, already aboard the lifeboat and wearing life jackets. Carolina was still in her wheelchair as they brought her closer to the wooden boat, so that they could get her on it. The first to get on was Verónica, carried by Erich. Then, with Casandra’s assistance, the man also managed to help Carolina and sat her on the back, lying down. Finally, Casandra's turn came, and before taking her seat she threw Carolina's wheelchair, now useless, into the sea. Simón was the last one, and then the whole group was ready to go.

-I hope you’ll reach the shore safely, - was the last thing Pierre said to them, as he hurried to lower the lifeboat into the sea, with his fellow officer’s help. During that time Casandra and her friends took the opportunity to put on the life jackets (at least those who were able to do so), while Erich and the two women begun to untie the maid at Casandra's request. Those seconds felt like the longest moments of her life, it was as if time had stopped and there wasn’t anything in the world that would make it start flowing again, while Casandra felt her heart burst inside her chest.

The thought of her plan being exposed to the wrong people constantly terrified her, and so did the one of seeing Fernando Fábregas come over just as they were about to escape to prevent them from doing so, so that he could bring her and her friends to the authorities at the nearest port. Well, the first time around she kind of had it coming, at least a little bit... but it was different this time. This time, her goal was no longer to hurt another person, but rather to protect her. With bated breath, as she waited impatiently for the small boat to finally reach the water and for them to be out of danger, her mind returned to Carolina. She had temporarily had to overshadow her to focus on their escape, but now that the worst part was over (or at least almost over) she could finally check on her. Just before, in the cabin, they had to hurry everything up, and the presence of the maid had certainly not helped. She had immediately regretted saying Carolina's name out loud, since the other woman was most definitely not aware of Carmen's plan, but it had been stronger than her. As caught up in the moment as she had been, she hadn't even paid attention to the dark-haired young woman, and unfortunately she hadn't even had time to take off Carolina's bandages to check that the person they were taking with them was actually her. Maybe it had been better this way, after all. They had certainly saved time and taking her to the ship's corridors had been safer. Now, however, she could finally get the bandages off her face and check how she was feeling.

Within the lifeboat the two men were seated in the first of the four rows, ahead of everyone, while the two women were sitting behind them, momentarily busy with the maid. Casandra was alone in the third row, while Carolina was laying down in the back of the lifeboat, together with the suitcases and a pile of covers. Once she made sure she was wearing her life jacket correctly, Casandra moved to get closer to her. She was happy to be a little distant from the rest of that improvised crew: at least they could get some privacy this way. She wasn't the kind of person to publicly display certain emotions. Casandra sat down next to Carolina, she gently lifted her head and placed it on her lap, so that she’d be more comfortable. Then she began to slowly remove the bandages from her face with particular care, afraid she could involuntarily hurt her. Taking a deep breath, Casandra narrowed her eyes and realized only in that moment that she was finally about to look Carolina (the _real_ Carolina) in the face after more than two years spent away from her. She felt the unpleasant feeling of a grip in her stomach and at the same time she forgot to breath for a few seconds, while surrounded by the darkness of the night.

The truth was that Casandra was afraid. She was afraid to look her in the face, in the eyes, and find only hatred and resentment reflected in them. Or worse, to find nothing at all, if not complete indifference. It was legit, it had been a long time, Carolina had a husband (to whom Casandra would make sure she would return very soon), maybe they were even planning to start a family. It was only fair that she had moved on and that Casandra was just nothing more than an old, unpleasant story to her. Yet, despite rationally knowing that it was a possibility she had to be ready to accept, the thought of it actually happening made her sink into a deep sadness. She sighed deeply as she mustered her courage and mentally prepared herself to accept any kind of reactions from Carolina’s part.  
  
  
When Casandra finally removed the last of the bandages, the lifeboat reached the water. Pierre freed the boat from the ropes and made a farewell gesture towards the group. Casandra shook her right arm and hinted a smile in his direction as she looked at him for one last time. They would probably never meet again, as it was supposed to be.

Then, Casandra returned to devote her attention to Carolina. She removed the last bandage from her face and she got her confirmation: it was her. It was really her, the real Carolina. A cascade of long, blond hair poured over Casandra’s long dress, while the sea air filled her lungs. She felt a surge of joy in her chest as she realized that it was Carolina indeed, and she was alive and unharmed. It was the only thing that mattered. She would take care of the rest later. Casandra couldn’t hold back a sigh of joy as she gently moved away a few blonde locks from her forehead and she called out to her, with an astonished smile on her face:

-Carolina.

Only then did Carolina finally open her eyes, and Casandra clearly saw her gaze fall on her, on her face. The young woman swallowed as her heartbeat considerably fastened, to the point that she began to fear that Carolina herself might hear it too. Ironically, the fireworks coming from the ship behind them were still lighting up the sky, and Casandra thought they were a perfect metaphor to describe what was going on inside her at the moment. She tried to put herself together and took a deep breath. Then she started studying the woman she was holding in her arms, to try to get a first impression of her state of health.

Aside from the worn blue robe she was wearing, her condition didn't appear to be overly critical. She probably wouldn't be self-sufficient for a few days and she obviously needed to rest, but they had time for that. Casandra was going to stay by her side to give her anything she needed. She couldn't make out her complexion clearly given the darkness, but she figured that after all those days in bed Carolina must haven been quite pale, and that she was probably still feeling very weak and confused because of the sedatives Casandra (unfortunately) knew she had been given. But it was nothing irreparable. The important thing was that she wasn’t about to die and that she could hold on for few more hours, just long enough to reach the shore. But Carolina was strong, of course she could do it. Casandra had never had any doubts about it.

Casandra then looked at her eyes and she noticed that she could barely keep them open, as if she was struggling to do so but, at the same time, as if she was trying her hardest to understand where she was and what had happened. Rather than hatred or resentment or anything else related to their troubled past, Casandra saw confusion and disorientation in them, which was legit. Still shaken by the moment, she fell silent for a few seconds, trying to find the words that she thought would be more appropriate to reassure Carolina and make her understand that she was safe now and completely out of danger, hoping that Carolina would be able to catch even just a small part of the message. However, the other woman surprised her when she least expected it:

-Casandra? - Carolina faintly exhaled. It had been little more than a whisper, but Casandra was quite sure she had heard it. She felt another leap in her heart, as she sighed in happiness at having finally heard her speak. Not only that, Carolina had even called out her name (well, sort of). Sure, it wasn’t such a big deal, considering she'd opened her eyes and her face was the first thing she'd seen, but Casandra didn't care. Carolina was conscious enough to remember her and recognize her, and this was more than what she had hoped for. Judging by her condition, Carolina must have struggled to speak, and that must have meant something… right? Of course, it could also be due to the fact that at the moment Carolina had no idea what was going on, but Casandra would soon explain her everything. It was only a matter of time.

-Carolina, it’s me, - she said with a reassuring smile, -Casandra. We have come for you, to help you. Everything is all right, you'll see, everything will be fine. I'll explain everything as soon as I can, I promise you. You’re safe now, just focus on that.

But Carolina didn’t answer, nor did she nod or move her head. Casandra looked at her doubtfully. Maybe she hadn't heard her. After all it was normal, the fireworks were making a lot of noise, which made communication not easy at all. Turning her head to look behind her, Casandra saw that the Bárbara de Braganza had started moving again and was slowly getting away from them. She wondered how long the fireworks were supposed to last. She certainly didn’t want the noises to frighten Carolina, who already seemed very shaken, understandably. Then, as she remembered that the blonde woman still wasn’t wearing a life jacket, she hurriedly took the one intended for her so that she could help her put it on. It was only then that her mind went back to the lifeboat and she saw that the brunette maid was looking at them with… suspicion? Astonishment? Bewilderment? Casandra threw her an annoyed look, and the girl hastened to look away immediately. Casandra rolled her eyes, but ultimately decided to ignore her. She didn’t want to waste her time like that. If there was anything she wasn’t comfortable with, she was completely free to jump off the small boat and swim ashore, but Casandra imagined that the maid was already aware of it.

Casandra took the orange life jacket and pulled Carolina up a little, just enough to be able to get her head through the hole. Then she made her lie down again and she placed Carolina’s head on her lap (on the fabric of her dress, at least), just like she had done earlier. She threw one last glance at the rest of the people on the lifeboat, to make sure that the maid was minding her own business, but luckily the girl seemed to have gotten the hint, as she was looking in the opposite direction to talk to Teresa and Gloria. Erich and Simón, on the other hand, were busy rowing.

-Erich - Casandra called out to him loudly, so that she could be heard despite the loud noise of the waves in the background, -can you see land?  
  
  
-Yes, I saw it, - he confirmed, - we should get there in a couple of hours.

Casandra gave him a small smile. -Perfect.

She and Pierre had made a special arrangement for him to leave them as close as possible to the mainland, since he and Héctor had taken command of the ship to illicitly change its course, naturally without Fernando's knowledge. It hadn’t been easy, of course, but the young officer had still given them a great help.  
  
  
-Have you heard it, Carolina? - Casandra whispered, even though she knew that the other woman probably couldn’t hear her. Well, at least the sound of the fireworks was slowly fading, which made communication much easier. - We'll get there in two hours. I know it's a bit cold but we got some blankets, here.

And as she said it she took one of the blankets that had been previously put on the lifeboat and she used it to wrap Carolina's body, so that she wouldn’t be cold. Then she stroked her cheek with her left hand, while she began to play with her blonde, long hair with her right one, almost without realizing it.

-There, it’ll keep you warm. You can trust me, you know that? I know I’ve told you this so many times in the past, and these words must mean nothing to you... but things are different now. You _can_ trust me.

Casandra paused briefly, while the moments they had spent together resurfaced to her memory. Carolina kept looking at her, her eyes still open. It was neither the place nor the right time, but Casandra couldn't help but think she was truly beautiful.

-Don't worry, Carolina, now I'll take care of you, - she gently reassured her. She should have told her this a long time ago, perhaps. She still remembered the day when she had asked her that simple question, to which Carolina had never really given an answer:

_Who takes care of you, though?  
Pero ¿quién te cuida a ti?_

And again, completely out of the blue, the other woman opened her mouth and replied:

-Casandra...

Casandra sighed, definitely taken by surprise by her reaction. She had said her name again. Maybe, after all, Carolina didn't hate her that much... or at least that was what Casandra was hoping with all her heart. Then, Carolina closed her eyes. Her chest kept rising and falling rhythmically, and Casandra placed two fingers on her neck to make sure her heartbeat was stable. She was just sleeping. Given the strong sedative that was flowing in her veins, Casandra figured that staying lucid had to be a real struggle. She continued to run her fingers through Carolina’s hair as she absently observed the sea enlightened by the moonlight. She stayed like this for the whole crossing, without leaving Carolina’s side, not even for a moment. As promised by Erich, two hours later they finally reached the shore. They had arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter! It's basically the first part of the first chapter but from Casandra's point of view, which explains what actually happened, since Carolina was pretty out of it. In the next one you'll get to find out a bit more (not all of it though) about what happened in Rio and about Diana's backstory, since these parts weren't mentioned in the tv show and I think they really do deserve an explanation, especially Diana's identity. As you've read, in this alternative version of the events Pierre and Héctor are actually not involved with "Katona" and the virus but they're working with Casandra to some extent, later on you'll find out why (you'll have to wait a bit more for that though). I hope that the plot unfolding this slowly won't bore you too much, I'll do my best to update as often as I can!


	3. III.

When Casandra's accomplices finally deigned to untie Verónica, the young maid was definitely pissed off. Anyone else in her position would probably keep a low profile and wait to be in a safe place (or at least safer than a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by five disreputable individuals) before venting all their frustration; of course, that didn’t happen to be her case. She just didn’t have it in her. And anyway, she had clearly heard Casandra tell Pierre that she had no intention of harming her, and that once they’d get ashore, they would let her go. That woman had plotted so many cruel schemes in the short time she had spent aboard the Bárbara de Braganza years ago and she had been guilty of upsetting in a lot of different ways the naive passengers who had believed her words (of course Verónica had never been among them), but she wasn’t a murderer. None of those five people were. With this in mind, Verónica was finally able to relax, even just a little. At least before discovering, to her enormous amazement, that the face hidden by those white bandages that had become almost familiar to her was actually the face of Carolina Villanueva, her former employer. Which didn't make any sense. It was then that Verónica lost her temper a second time. And this time, there was nothing (not even the prospect of potentially drowning after being thrown out of the lifeboat) that could stop her from voicing her numerous complaints. As soon as the two women whose names she didn't know (or maybe she just didn't remember) finished untying her, Verónica didn't waste a second: -Will someone please explain to me what the hell is going on?!

It was the boy's mother the one who replied to her: -We’re sorry miss, we really are, but we had no other choice...

-You had no other choice?! - Verónica railed against her, raising her voice. -What part of kidnapping a person, tying her up and carrying her on a lifeboat looks like it doesn’t depend on your own free will?!

-Calm down miss, just put on your life jacket, please... - the other woman prompted her, shyly handing her the orange object. Verónica angerly grabbed it and, despite not really wanting to, she obeyed the request. Of course that didn’t stop her outburst against that subspecies of gang of delinquents.

\- Calm down? Calm down?! I'm on a boat in the middle of nowhere with strangers who are taking me who knows where, I have no money and I’ve just lost my job, how in hell am I supposed to even begin to calm down?!

At that point, Casandra's butler turned to stare at her for a few seconds and gave her a look that made her blood run cold. The girl fell silent immediately; for a moment, she was even crossed by the doubt that her fate inside that lifeboat could be not as certain as she thought.

Fortunately, the man hastened to clarify immediately: -Miss, calm down and have a seat. It’s normal for you to have a lot of questions, but if you can manage to keep quiet for more than one second my friends and I will gladly explain to you what is going on. We have already told you that what happened to you was an accident, nobody here means to hurt anyone.

Verónica nodded, sighing. -Yes, please, I need to know where we’re going. And why is Carolina with us? What was she doing in Carmen's daughter's bed, with her face bandaged? It's not possible, I saw her with my own eyes, she was on her way to the masquerade party on the ship! And why were you even on the ship? Why were you hiding?

-The person you saw going to the party, miss, - the boy's mother began to explain, looking her in the eyes, - wasn’t actually Carolina, but her twin sister.

-Twin sister? No way... Carolina and I basically grew up together, if she had a twin I would know it, and she would certainly know it too! Eva’s the only sister she has got, that's it.

-Well, there’s a lot you don’t know, - the woman replied, slightly irritated. - It's a very long story, if you manage not to interrupt me for more than two seconds, I’d be glad to tell you more about it.

-You’re right, I'm sorry... - Verónica apologized, looking down at the water with a slight embarrassment.

-We met Diana, Carolina's sister, during the time we spent in jail, in Rio, - the woman began to explain. -Casandra noticed her the day we got there, I don't know how but she immediately knew that she wasn't Carolina. Initially we tried to find out more about her, but we didn’t discover much... she only told us that she had been abandoned right after her birth, she was raised in the favelas in Rio. It's a miracle that she managed to survive for so many years there, poor thing. She ended up in prison for killing a man, even though she told us it was only self-defense. At first we made friends with her, she was completely alone and didn't get along with anyone, she and Casandra really bonded. Luckily, we got out of prison quite quickly, after a couple of weeks we were already out.

-But how is it possible? - Verónica asked, quite surprised to hear it. After all they had done on the ship, the turmoil and panic they had caused?

-Well, technically we didn't do anything against the law. The Fábregas family, the owners of the ship, decided not to press charges against us for the damage caused to the passengers and so did Mrs. Carolina, even though she could have had us locked up in jail for who knows how many years, if she had charged us with kidnapping. To these days we’re all really grateful to her for what she did for us... if I think about the hell we’ve been through during those two weeks, it’s safe to say that not all of us might have made it through.

Verónica felt herself shiver slightly. The terror in that woman's eyes was so evident that for a moment she herself felt afraid at the very thought of what the group had seen and endured during the time they had spent in jail.

-Anyway, in the end we managed to find temporary accommodation in an industrial district. There were many factories, it was easy to find a job and there were many immigrants like us. Casandra continued to go to Diana to visit her every week, even more often if she could... I think she felt sorry for that poor soul. And I can't blame her. Until one day, about six months ago, she came home and told us that something terrible had happened.

-What? What happened? - Verónica asked, now intrigued by the narration.

-Diana had told her that a man, a doctor, had come to visit her.

-Doctor Ayala, - the maid immediately concluded. The other woman nodded.

-Exactly, him. He told her everything about Carolina, Eva, Carlos Villanueva ... He showed her some pictures of Carolina and told her that when the two of them were born things weren’t going really well for the Villanueva shoe industry, the first war world had just ended, even though the country hadn’t been involved it was still going through a crisis. And so, not having enough money to raise two babies, their parents chose to keep Carolina and put the other one on the first ship sailing from the port, which by a strange coincidence was headed to Rio.

-No, - Verónica said, vigorously shaking her head, -this isn’t possible. I knew the Villanueva family, they were decent people. Good people. And they certainly had no financial problems at the time, if they could afford to pay my mother's salary. I was born a year after Carolina; I practically grew up in that house. That man was lying, I'm sure.

-I don't know, he might have been, - the woman said, -there’s no way we can find out the truth now. However, the thing is that something must have happened, and Diana believed his story. His proposal was simple: he had heard something about the voyage of the Bárbara de Braganza scheduled on the 9th of July, with departure from the port of Buenos Aires. According to his source, a very dangerous person would get on board, someone in possession of a lethal virus that they were supposed to sell to secret Russians spies, who were waiting for them in Mexico. Diana was supposed to embark undercover, with the help of another accomplice, Carmen, pretending to be her daughter, as I’m sure you must know. Then the two were supposed to kidnap Carolina and keep her hostage for the whole voyage, while Diana out there would pretend to be Carolina and look for information about the virus, helping the doctor find the person who had it and steal it from them. Mrs. Carolina is the wife of the ship owner; she has access to a lot of valuable information.

Verónica had no idea what to say. It sounded like the plot of one of the novels her mother used to read at night before going to bed, full of spies and intrigues and love stories. The girl had no idea that such things could also happen in real life, but as much as she was struggling to accept the fact that what the other woman was telling her had actually happened, at the same time she had to admit that her story would explain a lot of things. Why else could Carolina have been in Carmen's cabin bed, lying basically unconscious with her face almost completely bandaged?

-Yes, it makes sense... - Verónica agreed. - Why did he want the virus, though? The doctor.

She supposed it wasn’t a crucial piece of information, but by now Verónica's curiosity had been piqued and she really wanted to know every part of that mind-blowing story.

-I don't know it exactly, Casandra told us that he was in contact with the Germans, that he had collaborated with them even during the war. The American occupiers in Germany had reached out to him, they had learned that the Russians were trying to get their hands on the virus and they wanted to get it before them. Ayala is Spanish, it was definitely easier for him to get on the ship and disguise himself among the passengers, to find out information. Who knows how much money they must have promised him in exchange for his service.

-How did he know that Carolina would be on the ship though? Just because she is Fernando's wife it doesn’t mean that she has to take part in every voyage, - Verónica reasonably objected.

-That wasn't a problem for him. He was in touch with very powerful men, with really large social networks. He had a lot of time to plan the whole thing and so he managed to find a pretext to make Carolina get on the ship on that particular day with little to no difficulty, an invitation to some important event to attend, for example...

-Like the presentation of Eva's book, - Verónica commented aloud.

-Yes, - the woman confirmed. -And of course Diana accepted. In return, he would get her out of jail, and once they’d get to Mexico he would give her enough money to assure her a happy, peaceful life, at least for quite some time.

-Of course, - Verónica commented, -and she obviously accepted.

-Yes, but it wasn’t just that. Diana told Casandra that she had another plan in mind: after getting the virus for the doctor, she was going to kill Carolina and take her place forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 out! I thought I'd update a bit sonner since this chapter is a bit shorter than the other ones, but as the story goes on the chapters tend to get longer, I promise! So, you've finally started seeing how the plot is different from the canon one: Diana's not just a random stranger who got plastic surgery to look exactly like Carolina but actually she's her twin sister! Verónica is not entirely convinced of Ayala's version, you'll find out later on if that is actually the truth or not. This chapter didn't really focus on Casandra and Carolina's relationship but I felt like I needed to give the story some context first. And I must say I really enjoy writing from other characters' pov! Thank you to those who are reading my fanfic, I really appreciate it!


	4. IV.

_Six months earlier_  
  
  
Casandra was greeted by the prison guard with the usual nod he made to recognize her presence inside the room. She had already been searched at the entrance of the building, so that they could make sure she wasn't carrying anything dangerous. By now most of the policemen who worked there could have recognized her, they were used to seeing her come by at least once a week; they knew it wasn't worth wasting too much time searching her.

As soon as she saw her, Casandra hinted a smile and saw Diana reciprocate. But there was something different in her gaze that day; she seemed cheerful, almost happy. Casandra noticed it as soon as she entered the room, and when she sat in front of her she had confirmation of that after a few seconds.

-Hello Diana, - the black-haired woman greeted her with a smile. -How are you? Here, I brought you a tart, - she then said, pulling out the cake wrapped in foil. She had grown accustomed to bringing something to eat to her friend at least once a week: she knew that the food in prison was terrible and it came in very small quantities. Many prisoners were hungry or had to fight with one another to get an extra portion. And Casandra certainly didn't want Diana to starve.

-Thank you, - Diana said, taking the tart and putting it on the table next to her, -I was looking forward to seeing you, actually. There’s something I need to tell you.  
  
  
Diana then proceeded to describe Dr. Alaya's visit and tell Casandra what the man had proposed to her. She explained to her their plan in detail: the virus, cooperating with Carmen, the cabin, the bandages, the part where she’d have to impersonate Carolina... The amount of money that the doctor had proposed to her was large, very large, and it was enough to guarantee her a happy life for the rest of her days. However, of course Casandra was deeply upset by her story, even as she strove to do her best to hide it. If Ayala’s scheme were to succeed, what would happen to Carolina? For that exact, same reason the very same day she had met Diana Casandra had decided not to tell her anything about her sister, once she had made sure that, as she suspected, Diana had no idea Carolina even existed. She knew that if Diana came to discover that on the other side of the world there was a person who looked just like her, born by the same parents, but to whom life had given everything that had been denied to her, she would probably hate her no matter what. And Casandra wanted to prevent it from happening. Carolina had already run too many dangers in her life, now she finally deserved some peace and serenity. All of them deserved it. And the same went for Diana: what good would it do to her to know that she had a twin sister that was very rich and hadn’t been abandoned by her parents, unlike she had? It would only make her hate the universe and all the injustices that came with it even more. Casandra had imagined that it would be better for Diana and her peace of mind if she had never found out who the Villanuevas were.

Apparently, however, that secret had just come to light. Casandra didn’t know if the story she had been told was true or if the doctor had invented it, but nonetheless he perfectly succeeded in what Casandra imagined was his intent: to make Diana hate Carolina Villanueva to death and convince her to work with him. As Diana was telling her all about it Casandra listened silently, while at the same time doing her best to remember and take in every single detail she was hearing about. She obviously couldn’t just straight up tell her not to do it and to refuse to play along with the doctor’s plan, she knew it would be stupid and that it would have no effect, other than to make Diana suspect her. After all, Casandra was glad that her friend could finally get out of that nightmare that was the Brazilian prison. It only took her two weeks in there to realize that in all likelihood she, a person who was used to a well-to-do lifestyle, would never be able to last that long in there. On the other hand, she wasn’t even remotely willing to let Diana escape at Carolina’s expense.

-I don't know,- Casandra finally commented, at the end of Diana's narration, -I'm glad you can finally get out of here and be free, but I think you should really think it through... you’re going to have do deal with a very dangerous virus, spies, powerful men... Are you sure you’ll be able to handle it?

-You should know that anything is better than being locked in here, Casandra, - Diana commented, giving her a glassy-eyed look. -Don't worry about me, I’m going to be okay, I can take care of myself. You know I've been through a lot worse and I've always been able to pull through.

Casandra nodded. -All right, if you're sure about that. But be very careful. You have to keep yourself ready to run away at any time, in case things go wrong.

-It's not going to happen, you’ll see. The doctor explained to me that the man carrying the virus doesn't want to spread it, he is going to meet with Russian spies in Mexico to sell it to them. We just have to steal it and make sure that at the end of the crossing Ayala will be the one having it, and not him. But we won’t risk contagion, don’t worry.

Casandra nodded, visibly unconvinced. -All right, if you're sure about it...

-Since you're worrying so much, why don't you come with me? We could pretend to know each other while I’ll be impersonating Carolina, as if we were meeting for the first time on the ship, and then once we get to Mexico we can live together, we could both get a fresh start.

Casandra shook her head as a series of images resurfaced to her mind, reminding her of the days when she and Carolina met and got to know each other. For a moment she felt a knot in her throat and a strong feeling of melancholy overwhelming her. Could things have gone differently if Casandra had told everyone the truth right away? Honestly, she doubted it.

-No, that's really not a good idea, Diana. I'm glad you can finally get you out of here, but I can't go with you. My life is in Rio now...

-What are you talking about, you're forced to work as a dishwasher in a hotel to get by, - Diana immediately pointed out, belying her. That was actually true, ever since she had arrived in Rio Casandra could barely scrape along. She had thought so many times about going back to Spain, to her family; Erich himself had suggested it more than once, but Casandra had always found an excuse to postpone, to avoid the topic, to convince the others to stay in that South American city for a while longer. She had come up with a thousand reasons, but she knew that her friends were not fools and each one of them, some more than others, had guessed the real one, which Casandra had never once said out loud: she didn’t want to get away from Carolina.

Since they had gotten off the ship, the two had never seen each other again, not even once. But that didn't change the fact that at least they were still living in the same city, and this made Casandra feel kind of connected to the beautiful blonde woman she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about, despite all the months that had passed. She had thought about looking for her at least a million times, but at the end of the day she had never actually done it. Carolina had chosen to be with Fernando, that had been clear. Well, it hadn’t really been a choice, Casandra knew it: when she had gotten off the ship she had been handcuffed and headed to jail, while Carolina was married. They could never have ended up together, not in that moment at least, not like that. But that didn't change the reality of things.

Besides, Carolina had told her that she was confused about her feelings and that she needed time to think, so really Casandra was just respecting her decision by staying away from her. And then, given how much she had hurt Carolina and all the lies she had told her, maybe it was just too late for them. Maybe Carolina deserved someone better than her, someone that could treat her well and make her feel loved and protected and valued. Who was Casandra to meddle in her life again and wreak havoc? Maybe it was just better for things to go this way, after all.

At the same time, the mere idea of leaving the city forever without saying goodbye to her, thus permanently destroying any possibility of seeing her again and reconnecting with her, the thought of finally having to confront the fact that Carolina was never going to be in her life again, ever, was not something Casandra was ready to face. Perhaps she would never be... and so, as a result, she found herself stuck in that sort of limbo, and the only way she could alleviate her suffering was to talk to the blonde woman’s twin sister, to whom she had clung as if she had been an anchor. She wasn't Carolina and she was well aware of it but seeing her face every day and hearing her voice made her feel a little closer to her. It helped her keep alive all the memories she had of her; of the moments they had spent together. The thought of forgetting her voice, her eyes and her features frightened her much more than leaving. As long as Carolina was alive in her memories, then it was as if somehow the thought of her accompanied Casandra in all her days, all the time. Almost like a ghost, visible only to her eyes. If this was the best she could get, Cassandra would accept it... it was still better than nothing.

-Just tell me the truth, Casandra, - Diana told her, -the reason you want to stay here is not that you're happy with your life in Rio.

Casandra swallowed, fearing that Diana might have realized that she was hiding something from her. However, luckily, she added afterwards: -The truth is, you're afraid to leave, aren't you? I mean, I understand that. The virus, espionage, kidnappings – it all looks like the plot of a novel.

Casandra nodded with relief. -Yes, exactly. I hope you won't get mad at me for it, but I don't know if I'd feel like going through something like that, knowing what’s at stake.

-You're right, - Diana replied. -I don't want to put you in danger, don't worry. I have a better idea. When I get to Mexico and settle down, I'm going to write you a letter, find a place where you can stay, and then you’ll be able to move there, along with Gloria, Teresa and the others. What do you think?

-All right, that seems like a reasonable idea, - Casandra said. Of course, she was never going to agree with it, nor would she ever allow Diana to go through with her insane plan. She still had to figure out how to stop her, but she would think about it later at her house, calmly... now the priority was to understand her intentions.

-What about your sister, what are you going to do with her? If you kidnap her and then release her, aren't you afraid she’ll tell everyone about you? They may look for you in Mexico after you get off the ship.

Diana giggled almost amusedly, as if Casandra had just said something absurd. The dark-haired woman swallowed in fear, terrified of what Diana was about to tell her: -Of course I’m not just going to let Carolina go, Casandra. Once Dr. Alaya gets his hands on the virus she will be no use to me, so I'm going to kill her before everyone can find out the truth and then I’ll just take her place. It's going to be a lot easier, right? It’s just what she deserves. She has been taking my life away from me for years, now it’s my turn.

Casandra suddenly felt herself hardly breath as a feeling of emptiness spread in her stomach. For a moment she thought she’d pass out, she thought she’d never be able to stand up again. No matter what it would take, she’d never let anyone hurt Carolina, she had never been surer of anything. Even if she had to risk her own life in the process...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the chapter! It was supposed to be longer actually but I've decided to divide it into two parts since I'll be a bit busy in the next few days and I didn't want to make you wait too much for it! Btw if you want to talk to me about the fic or about the show or in general you can just message me on tumblr, my url is murderousfaith . And after the next chapter, Casandra and Carolina will get to talk to each other at last! So I hope you'll continue to read the fic to see what happens and how they will react to their reunion.


	5. V

_Six months earlier_

-Erich, do you have any news?

As soon as the butler returned to the small house he lived in with Casandra and the other three former castaways, the woman immediately rushed to him. It had been a week since Diana had told her about her crazy plan in cahoots with Dr. Ayala, and she still couldn't get in touch with Carolina. They still had six months to stop it, Casandra knew it, but as long as Carolina was unaware of the danger she was running and potentially risking her life because of her evil twin sister, Casandra wouldn’t be able to feel at ease. Besides, a part of herself couldn't wait to see Carolina again. Until then, she had been strong enough to force herself to stay away from her, even though she often thought about her. She said to herself that it was the best option for everyone... for Carolina, mostly. This way, somehow, she could accept it. But now that she had a valid reason to look for her, to see her again, she felt legitimated to finally do what she had wanted to for a long time.

It wasn’t like Casandra expected much from their meeting, obviously... she was simply going to ask her how she was, how things were going with Fernando and whether she was happy. Given that Carolina had never looked for her in more than a year, even though she probably knew they were both living in the same city, it just meant she had chosen not to forgive her. And Casandra understood that, she really did. If she thought back to the things Carolina had been through because of her, she could clearly see her point. But even if Casandra had been given the opportunity to go back in time, unfortunately there was nothing she could have done to stop herself. After all, just like she had previously told Carolina, when she boarded the Bárbara de Braganza she had no idea she would meet someone as special and as sensitive as her, let alone the fact that that person would be the wife of the man Casandra suspected of having killed her sister. Her feelings for Carolina, in some ways, had been the biggest setback of all within the great plan she had meticulously prepared. However, if she instead looked at the grand scheme of things, at her entire existence, what she had felt (and was still feeling) for Carolina had made her feel alive again. It prompted her to get control over her life once again, it made her understand how much she needed to move forward, in one way or another, despite the years of suffering and pain that Rosa's disappearance had caused her. It made her realize that she couldn't let a ghost and a personal revenge become her only reason for living and that there was so much more worth fighting for and moving forward.

After several months in Rio she, Erich, Simon, Gloria and Teresa managed to find a job in a large luxury hotel, located on a beach. Erich and the others all had excellent references, having been in the service of Casandra's family for years (her father was a well-known officer and her family never had financial problems). With regards to Casandra, unfortunately she certainly couldn’t claim she had the same work experience, however, given that her friends recommended her for the job, after a while she started working in the hotel as well. Well, she was obviously given one of the least important tasks, she was working as a humble dishwasher, relegated to the back of the kitchen; but it was still better than nothing. She certainly couldn't expect much, and besides, working also made the days go by much faster, which gave her less time to think. If she had had to stay home all the time, doing nothing, she probably would have gone mad.

Erich, Teresa and Gloria, on the other hand, held more relevant positions: the two women worked as hotel maids, while the man was a receptionist. As a result, it was easier for them to interact with the tourists and the rest of the staff and, automatically, to collect information. Casandra had specifically entrusted him with the task of inquiring about Carolina Villanueva and obtaining her address. After all, Fernando Fábregas was a rather important name (or at least so Casandra imagined), how difficult could it be to find someone who could tell them at least _something_ about him? Besides, Casandra knew her (former) butler; she trusted him. She knew he could be both persuasive and discreet, and he was also a very intelligent person (well, if you didn't count that one time when he seriously believed that Carolina could have been a murderer).

Casandra had taken advantage of every possible opportunity to ask him for updates during those seven days. However, with the grueling shifts that the hotel required, the two didn't spend much time together. There were days when they could barely see each other, for example. For this reason, whenever she had an opportunity, Casandra was always anxious to know if the man had found out more about Carolina. _Anything_ was going to be enough. Even a name, or a trivial element that could have been even just vaguely attributable to the married couple. Anything was going to be better than having absolutely no idea where she was and having to go to sleep with the knowledge that she was risking death because of the ambitions of a horrible man.

-Yes, I have news for you.

Casandra sighed as Erich entered the house and took off his coat. The woman watched him worriedly as she sat down at the kitchen table in a vain attempt to calm her anxiety. Her heart had begun to beat so fast it seemed totally out of control; just like it happened every time it came to Carolina. The thought of the young, blond woman was enough to evoke memories and feelings that still remained alive in her.

Erich's tone of voice did not bode well. But Casandra didn't care, whatever it was, she wanted to know anyway. Anything was better than that deafening silence that made her mind imagine the worst scenarios.

-Tell me Erich, what is it?

Casandra gave him a worried look. The man sat down at the table next to her but looked away. Casandra kept looking at him straight in the eye, while a horrible feeling of emptiness had taken over her stomach.

-It's about Carolina ... unfortunately there’s nothing we can do to help her.

For a moment Casandra felt like she could hardly breath. She must have misheard him... yes, there was no other explanation. The thought that Carolina... no, she couldn't even think about it. She couldn’t even begin to put it into words. Just guessing what Erich wanted to tell her immediately made her feel like she was sinking, as she wished the floor beneath her feet would swallow her, while at the same time she felt short of breath, and a choking sensation took hold of her throat, almost as if it the air couldn’t pass.

-What do you mean? - she asked, her hands almost trembling.

-Carolina and Fernando moved away six months ago, they no longer live in Rio. They are in Buenos Aires now, I heard they bought a house there.

Casandra immediately returned to breathe after that news. Erich had terrified her to death. Carolina was fine then, she was safe and sound. That was the most important thing, at least for the moment. Her brain then processed the second piece of information she had received: Carolina was no longer in Rio. The feeling of emptiness in her stomach quadrupled. She wasn’t living in Rio anymore…

-She’s not living in Rio…

Although Casandra knew that nothing serious had happened to Carolina, she still felt as if the earth beneath her feet had disappeared and was swallowing her. Realistically, what could she expect? Carolina had every right to start over, to leave, to move to live elsewhere and move forward. However, this meant that she was undoubtedly over Casandra and everything that had happened between them. It meant that she hadn't forgiven her, that she never would. She should have known it was a possibility. Instead, the harshness of that reality struck her like a bolt from the blue. As if someone had thrown a stone at her and hit her straight in the heart, piercing her from side to side. As long as they were both in Rio, Casandra could continue to hope they would meet again someday. She could go on living, waiting for Carolina to forgive her, to look for her, to write to her. Now, however, she knew for certain that this eventuality would never happen. She wanted to get up, lock herself in her room and throw whatever object she found against the wall. But she didn't.

-No, she’s not... I'm very sorry.

Casandra sighed, in a poor attempt to contain her feelings. Right now she needed to collect herself and just wait to be alone.

-I think you should just forget about her, once and for all... - Erich then added, reaching out to put his hand on hers. The woman found a slight comfort in the touch of the man who had been almost like a second father to her. -I know you’re grateful to her since she didn't report us and she got us out of jail, but... you have to move forward. She has left, there is nothing we can do for her. Going to Buenos Aires would be impossible, we wouldn’t even know where to look for her...

-No, - Casandra hastened to reply immediately. Yes, she had to give up and accept the fact that she and Carolina would never meet again, at least not in that life. But that certainly didn’t mean that Casandra would just stand there and let her die. -We'll find another way, then.

-What do you mean? - Erich asked, visibly confused.

-I mean that you’re right, since she doesn’t live in Rio anymore there’s no way to find her and warn her. But we can still save her from Diana, there must be a way.  
-But how? - Erich asked, apparently not very optimistic. -I would like to save her too and help her, especially given everything she has done for us, but I can’t see what we could do for her. If you told Diana the truth, she would end up hating you, you would only give her one more reason to work with Ayala.

-Yes, - Casandra agreed, -I can't do that. Then I guess we’ll have to get on the ship with Carolina to protect her, - she decided precisely in that moment, pronouncing those words with a conviction Casandra didn’t even know she had.

\- Are you sure? It all seems a bit rash, it could be very dangerous... you will have to hide from Diana, you can’t expect Fernando and Eva to trust you, there are a lot of things at stake. And there’s only five of us.

-There was only five of us even before, Erich, - Casandra recalled, -and look how many things we managed to do. We still have time; I’m sure we can come up with something.

-We had Augustín working with us, - Erich reminded her, -and he was very attached to you sister, Rosa. Without him our plan never would have worked.

Casandra nodded. It was true, without Augustín they would have achieved absolutely nothing. However, Casandra didn’t see how that could be an obstacle. All they had to do was find someone else willing to help them.

-Well, we'll find someone to help us.

-And who? - Erich asked. -Eva Villanueva wouldn't believe a single word you might say, she doesn't trust us. And even if she did, Dr. Ayala would probably find out that we're onto him. He had the means to find and get in contact with Diana, he must have a lot of informants and he's probably monitoring that family, it would be too dangerous to approach them. We’d risk facing even more serious retaliation and getting involved firsthand.

Casandra nodded. He was right, she really needed to think it through calmly. However, they still had a lot of time, luckily. Surely they would be able to find the means necessary to make another plan, one that wouldn’t fail this time.

-You’re right, I also think it is better to leave Eva out of this. We’re dealing with very dangerous people, if she gets involved too and something happens to her Carolina could never forgive us.

The woman paused briefly to think about what to do. Sure, they probably wouldn't be able to find an ally among Carolina's family. But that didn't imply that there wasn't anyone else willing to help them. Maybe she could make a deal, an agreement, an exchange with someone... she just needed to find a person who, just like her, had an unfinished business on the Bárbara de Braganza. Someone who needed something, wanted something, someone who Casandra could help in some way. Not that she liked playing with other people's feelings or desires, of course, but if she had found a way to get someone to help her and at the same time a way to help them in return in a perfectly fair deal, she couldn’t see why that would be wrong. Casandra sighed, as she tried her hardest to come up with someone that would fit the description. Given all the intrigues and subterfuges the Fábregas family was involved with, there had to be someone who had an unfinished business with them... and then, in that moment, the face of a very specific person materialized in her mind almost out of the blue. Someone who had lost a person they loved very much because of the selfishness of that family, albeit indirectly, just like she had many years ago. Suddenly, a conspiratorial smile appeared on her lips as a boost of optimism gave her the strength to carry on.


	6. VI.

_Present days_

When Carolina opened her eyes, her head felt heavier than a boulder. Everything was so strange and confusing... the sedative had slowly begun to wear off and she soon realized it, as the images before her eyes appeared sharper and more stable. However, this didn’t automatically mean that she had regained her strength. She tried to get up, but her body showed no intention of cooperating - again. She struggled to pull herself up slightly, propped up by her elbows and backing away a little. What happened? She remembered nothing. Casandra's face and her voice were the last things her mind had registered, then she had sort of blacked out. Now that she had regained consciousness, she could claim with certainty that the room in which she was resting was neither Carmen's cabin, nor any other room aboard Fernando's ship. Where was she, then?

Carolina then looked around and she instantly recognized Verónica, sitting in a chair by the bed. She immediately felt calmer, knowing that at least wherever she happened to be, she wasn't alone.

-Verónica, - Carolina whispered, in a faint voice. Talking was still difficult for her.

-Carolina, how are you feeling? - the other girl asked with apprehension, as soon as she noticed that Carolina had regained consciousness.

Carolina hinted at a smile. Hearing a friendly and familiar voice after those days of captivity seemed almost the equivalent of heaven.

-I have a headache... and I'm rather confused. Where we are?

-It's complicated, - Verónica began to explain. Her tone didn't bode well. -A lot of things have happened on the ship, maybe you should just rest and recover now, and then when you feel better, I'll tell you everything.

Carolina swallowed. Was it really something that terrible? She was right though, Carolina was feeling rather tired at the moment, she probably wouldn’t have the energy to process the events of the previous night. Anyway, the fact that she was alive and perfectly capable of talking to Verónica was definitely a good sign, wasn't it? It meant that Diana hadn't killed her and that she was no longer Carmen's prisoner, so in all likelihood her deception had been discovered and there was no longer another person running around the ship pretending to be her. Right?

-We are not on the ship, are we? - Carolina said in a faint voice. Even though her head felt heavy, she tried to turn around to look around and study the room she was in. Apart from the double bed she was lying in and the chair Verónica was sitting in, there wasn't much else; just a small closet attached to the wall and a window, from which you undoubtedly couldn’t see the ocean. On the contrary, the view it offered was that of a simple internal courtyard, which that day appeared to be quite sunny. There seemed to be no one outside to enjoy the good weather, though. Carolina then turned her attention back to Verónica who, judging by the expression on her face, looked like she was internally debating how much information she was supposed to reveal to Carolina, so as not to upset her excessively.

-No, - Verónica finally said, -you and I got off the ship on a lifeboat, we never got to Mexico. We’re in Caracas now.

Carolina sighed in surprise. Caracas? It didn’t make any sense! For what absurd reason were they in Caracas, how did she even get there? Her astonishment must have been quite obvious and her face didn’t bother to hide it, since Verónica immediately added:

-It's a long story, I know you don't understand now but I promise you that it will make sense once I tell you everything.

Carolina nodded with little conviction, while an invisible hammer continued to attack her head without giving her respite.

-Do you need anything? Are you hungry, thirsty? I’m here for you, whatever you need.

Hungry? No, at least for the moment. She was actually feeling rather nauseous, the very thought of food was really unpleasant to her. If she had eaten anything, she probably would have ended up throwing up after a short while. As for her thirst, however, Carolina felt absolutely dry in her throat. Drinking some water would definitely do her good.

-Water, - she struggled to say, -please, - hoping that rehydration would help her speak more easily. After so many days of silence she wasn’t used to it anymore.  
  
  
Verónica nodded quickly, jumping to her feet like a soldier who had just been given an order. -Of course, water, I'm going to get it right away. I’ll be right back.

After the girl left the room, Carolina was alone for a few minutes. Caracas, Verónica, leaving the ship... it all seemed so absurd. As if somehow it wasn't really happening to her; as if shortly after, as soon as Verónica would return with a glass of water, she could go back to sleep and wake up aboard the Bárbara De Braganza. As if all of that wasn't happening to her, not really. And yet, it was real. Carolina looked down at the floor of the room, covered with a light layer of dust, as she enjoyed the pleasant breeze coming through the open window. It was all so concrete that it couldn't be a dream, Carolina reluctantly admitted. It was a bit like the same feeling she had felt when she had heard Casandra's voice and felt her fingers playing tenderly with her hair. Carolina's heart leapt. That meant that maybe it wasn’t just a dream, maybe that had really happened as well... Actually, on second thought, it hadn’t even been the first time she'd seen Casandra over the past three days, but it had all been so confusing that her brain hadn’t been able to tell which things had really happened and which ones were just a trick of her mind. She wondered if perhaps Verónica happened to know something about it...

When she returned, Carolina tried again to pull herself up, once again without succeeding. As she immediately reassured her, Verónica momentarily put the glass on the floor and helped her to put her back against the wall, then picked up the object and brought it to Carolina's lips. Those three hellish days had surely taught her how many things in life she took for granted, first and foremost the ability of doing something as simple as drinking water indipendently. Finding herself completely nurtured by Carmen, the number of times in a day that Carolina could drink, eat or go to the bathroom depended entirely on her. Well, generally speaking, the woman didn’t turn out to be excessively cruel, luckily, but the frustration and suffering that Carolina had experienced in feeling so helpless and useless had deeply scarred her.

-Better? - Verónica asked, taking the glass away from her. Carolina nodded.

-Thank you, - she replied, feeling much better. Not that she was ready to have a conversation or to make a speech now, but at least her throat didn’t hurt as much. Then, taking a deep breath, the blonde woman mustered the courage to finally ask:

-Verónica, is Casandra here with us?

The amazement in Verónica's face at that question was so much evident that Carolina thought for a moment that she must have hallucinated her the night before. A bitter feeling of disappointment and discouragement overwhelmed her, as she began to feel like a complete idiot, for both thinking about Casandra and having expressed that thought aloud. Who knows what Verónica was going to think of her now? Fortunately, all this lasted no more than a few seconds. Just long enough to hear the other woman's answer, visibly dumbfounded: -Why are you asking about her?

She didn't say yes, but she didn't say no either. So, after all, there was still a chance that Carolina might be right. She shrugged, trying to pretend to be detached: -I don't know, for a moment I thought I’d seen her last night, I thought I’d heard her voice... Maybe I just imagined it.

After her explanation, Verónica's face relaxed. Carolina imagined that her detached tone had sounded believable, as well as her words (after all, it wasn’t like she had lied to her).

-Yes, of course, it's logical... - the woman commented at first, and then she finally replied: -yes, Casandra is here too. She was the one who helped us escape from the ship, no one else knows we're here basically. Well, she and her friends too, the rest of her group. But she didn't do it to hurt us or anything like that, don't worry. I talked to the others last night, they cleared everything up... she doesn't want to hurt you Carolina, you can be sure of that. She only took you away because she knew Carmen was holding you prisoner, but you’ll be able to go back to Eva and Fernando very soon, you’ll see.

That was a lot of information to process. So that really was Casandra, she had boarded the Bárbara de Braganza on purpose, just to help her escape. But how was that possible? How had she and Fernando not realized it? If she had been on the passenger list, her name would have immediately caught their attention (both the fictional and the original one, Carmen Marín).

How could Carolina not have noticed her? And how did she get her off the ship undisturbed, without anyone noticing or trying to stop her? How did she know about Carmen, Diana and Dr. Ayala? Too many questions crowded Carolina's mind. Despite all her doubts, however, there was one thing she was sure of:  
  
  
\- I think I’d like to see her now.

At that request, the same feeling of amazement from earlier returned to be displayed on Verónica's face, as she was now staring at Carolina as if she had just told her something absurd, like that she hoped the ship had sunk. Was it so weird that she the wanted to see her, to talk to her and try to figure out what had happened?  
_Well, that’s not a lie, but there’s a lot more to that, and you know it very well._

-Casandra? - Verónica repeated, as if to make sure she had understood correctly. For a brief moment, Carolina felt almost annoyed at the thought that her friend considered her request so unbelievable and unwarranted. Then she remembered that Verónica had no idea what had happened between the two of them on their first voyage together, so she had to admit to herself that her bewilderment was partly understandable. Moreover, it was also true that Verónica considered Casandra and her family as responsible for her mother’s death, albeit indirectly. Officially Francisca had simply slipped off the ship deck... but in reality, no one really understood what had happened, even if Carolina definitely thought that there was something pretty abnormal about it. Anyway, if Casandra had never boarded the ship, none of that would have happened and Francisca would have been able to get off in Rio safe and sound. On the other hand, it was also true that, in fact, it was Carolina the first to understand that their loyal maid was actually the culprit of Rosa's death, so if she had to be honest, she and Casandra shared the same degree of responsibility, when it came to that unpleasant accident.

But anyway, that wasn’t the point. The point was that Carolina could understand why Verónica felt so resentful towards Casandra and, consequently, why it might have seemed strange to her the fact that Carolina wanted to see her. After all, to her Casandra was just a person who had caused her a lot of pain and suffering.

-Yes, Casandra, - Carolina simply confirmed; she didn’t have neither the desire nor the strength to start explaining the reasons behind her request. She only hoped that Verónica could understand that and that she would just go call her, without asking any more questions. Or at least, if she really felt the need to do that, Carolina wished she could at least postpone them to another moment, one in which her brain would be ready to face them and to elaborate a complete, rational and satisfying answer. In that moment, Carolina wasn’t ready to admit even to herself the real reason why she wanted to see that woman again in the first place.  
  
  
-Please, - she then added, forcing herself to give her a pleading look. Verónica nodded and stood up, without commenting, and Carolina found herself silently thanking her in her mind.

\- All right, I'll go call her now. Are you sure you don't need anything else, aren't you hungry? We had lunch less than one hour ago, if you want me to I can make you something to eat, or...

-No, thank you, I'm not hungry, - Carolina gently declined, although she was actually feeling very weak. -Maybe later.

Verónica nodded. -I’ll go then.

The minutes that separated that moment from the one in which Casandra crossed the threshold of her room felt like the longest in Carolina’s life.  
…

-Carolina.

Carolina's first thought upon hearing her voice after such a long time was that it was truly amazing how a simple and banal word like her first name could evoke so many emotions in her, all at once. One of her greatest fears at the end of her first voyage aboard the Bárbara de Braganza had been the thought that, inevitably, she would eventually forget about Casandra. About her voice, her eyes, her perfume. Despite all the lies the other woman had told her, despite how much she had hurt her, Carolina didn’t want the memories of the moments she had spent with her to become more distant and faded as the days went by; quite the opposite. Casandra had hurt her, and that was indeed the truth, but she had made her feel many other things too. It was only thanks to her if Carolina had gotten to know herself a bit more, if she had finally given voice to questions about which she had never opened up to anyone else before; she had made her question parts of her life that she had always considered real dogmas, such as her love for Fernando, the inevitability of their marriage, her established future as a wife and a mother. She had made her feel heard, understood, appreciated and valued, and for the first time, for something that was different from her physical appearance. Carolina didn't want all these things to go away, she didn't want to forget. She didn't want to be unable to remember that small electric shock she felt every time Casandra touched her, caressed her or looked her straight in the eye, with such an intense and deep gaze that Carolina almost felt as though she was looking directly inside her mind to read it thoroughly.  
  
  
Over time, Carolina didn’t forget anything. In fact, she remembered everything. She always carried within her each one of the things that Casandra had given her, each emotion she had been able to evoke in her. She remembered how stupid and deluded she had felt when she had found out that Casandra had lied to her about everything (well, almost everything), she remembered the feeling of being betrayed and stabbed in the back, she remembered the nights she had spent having nightmares because of her, how much she had fought with her sister, Eva. But she also remembered the pain and the sadness in Casandra’s eyes when she had told her about her sister, she remembered her despair, all her vulnerabilities, which she had allowed Carolina to see despite her intention of deceiving everyone.

And most of all, she remembered the sound of Casandra’s voice as she called out her name. It was a strange habit that Carolina had noticed right away, for some reason. Perhaps because she had a relatively long name, and everyone preferred to shorten it (like her sister Eva, who called her "Carol") or to simply call her by other words, such as niece, love, miss. Casandra was the only one who used her full name, despite the two having gotten pretty close right away, and she also used to repeat it quite often in their conversations. It was a habit that Carolina liked, for some reason. She had noticed that Casandra only did it with her, while she addressed Eva and the other passengers on the ship in a completely different way. Carolina guessed that maybe it made her feel special and important, as if it were some sort of special attention that Casandra paid to her and only to her. Now, in retrospect, Carolina thought that only a naive person like her could have given importance to all these little and meaningless things.

However, being aware of that wasn’t enough to keep her impassive as she heard Casandra say her name yet again, and everything inside her started shaking, and then crumbled and fell apart. Her mind had internally listened to her voice on repeat so many times that Carolina thought she was prepared. Instead, to her enormous disappointment, in that moment Carolina discovered that hearing her speak in person and with her big, black eyes fixed on her once again had a completely different effect on her. She felt her breath catch in her throat as her body, already quite weak in itself, remained completely still, almost petrified.

Completely speechless and prey to a million conflicting emotions, Carolina showed no sign of reacting. Casandra also remained motionless at the door, waiting for an answer from the other woman, or at least for a nod. They just kept looking at each other in silence for a handful of moments that Carolina felt go by too quickly. She had so many things to say to her that she didn't even know where to start, so many thoughts to share, so many questions to ask. Yet, in a totally illogical and contradictory way, Carolina didn’t even feel the need to speak. The way Casandra was looking at her was already eloquent enough in itself, and for a moment Carolina felt like she could perceive all the thoughts that were going through the mind of that beautiful woman and, at the same time, transmit her own thoughts back to her. Any word would have probably been superfluous.

That silence was likely going to continue for long, if Casandra hadn’t spoken a second time: -Can I come in?

Only then did Carolina realize that Casandra was still waiting for an invitation from her, and that it would probably be rude to leave her standing there waiting. With her heart beating madly inside her chest, Carolina forced herself to remain calm as she replied: -Yes, come in, please.

For once in her life she found herself being unexpectedly grateful to the effects of the sedative, which allowed her to hide from the other woman the tornado of emotions that she was able to awaken in her with just one word. Meanwhile Casandra entered the room, closing the door behind her. She walked towards the chair that Verónica had occupied until a few minutes earlier, dangerously close to Carolina's bed, and she sat there. The light coming through the window highlighted her olive-colored skin, making her look even more beautiful than she already was. Carolina bit her lip, mentally cursing herself for thinking that. It would have been easier if she just could have turned all those feelings off.

-How are you feeling? - Casandra then asked, in a genuinely worried tone. Her back was straight and perfectly in line with the back of the chair, while her eyes remained fixed on Carolina's hazel ones.

_Confused, because I have no idea what happened or why I am even in this room. Happy, because, despite everything that happened, you are here with me. Like a complete idiot, because of what I’ve just thought. Tired from everything that's happened to me in the last three days. Scared, because of everything you're making me feel right now. Angry, because despite everything I can't bring myself to hate you. And finally, terribly agitated, because of your way of looking at me that makes me feel like I'm the only one in the world to you._

This is what Carolina wanted to answer. However, all she said was just a faint: -Well.

When she saw Casandra frown slightly at that answer, Carolina realized that she mustn’t have sounded really believable. How was she supposed to feel well after being kidnapped and knowing that there was an evil doppelganger on the loose, passing for her?

-Sort of, - Carolina then added, - I have a headache.

Well, it was the truth, it was exactly what she had told Verónica as well. Casandra sighed. Was she worried about her condition?

-I'm really sorry, Carolina, - Casandra said, reaching out to gently stroke her right arm. Carolina immediately felt her skin become more tense under her touch, but she didn’t pull away. Not that she had quick enough reflexes to do that, anyway. -This morning while you were asleep the doctor came to visit you, - Casandra told her, -I told him about what happened to you, even though I didn't know what exactly Doctor Ayala had given you. He said that you should recover in a couple of days and that you shouldn't suffer any particular consequences, but if you need him we can call him back and get him to prescribe you some medicine for the pain.  
  
  
Carolina nodded absently, her mind barely registered the second part of the sentence, being much more interested in the first. How did Casandra know who Dr. Ayala was? Was she working with him? No, it wasn't possible, otherwise why would she have bothered to get on the ship, hide from everyone and make her escape?  
  
  
-How do you know about Doctor Ayala? - Carolina asked. Her tone of voice, once again because of the sedative she still felt in her system, sounded cold and detached, almost accusatory. As a consequence, Casandra looked down at the floor and pulled away her hand from Carolina's arm, probably guessing what Carolina might have been thinking. For a moment Carolina found herself missing her gentle, delicate touch. She remembered how the night before she had stroked her face and her hair... Casandra had such an attentive and caring way of taking care of other people that she had immediately felt safe and protected, despite her reason telling her that she was the last person on the face of Earth who could ever offer her those things.

-It’s a long story, perhaps it’s better if we postpone the explanation to another moment, when you feel better, - Casandra replied, in a perfect replica of the words that Verónica had said to her a little earlier. Carolina nodded. Yes, maybe it was better.

-But, - the other woman continued, -I assure you that I never had anything to do with him and his plans. I only got on the ship because I had been informed of his intentions long before the voyage and I knew you were in danger, I did it to keep you safe. Carolina, if something had happened to you I would never have forgiven myself...

Judging by Casandra's broken voice and her gaze, filled with melancholy and sadness, Carolina felt that she was telling the truth. Well, it wasn’t like Casandra wasn't good at lying, Carolina knew it, but it was different this time. The tone in which she had addressed her revealed all her concern, as well as her vulnerability. And Carolina knew that Casandra hated being seen weak by other people unless there was a serious reason behind it. But anyway, that didn't change the fact that if she was telling the truth, then she wasn’t making any sense.

-Why didn't you warn me if you knew? - Carolina asked, this time trying a little harder to make her question sound like a genuine request for clarification, and not an accusation.

-I tried to, believe me, I did everything I could to get in touch with you, but I didn't know where to find you. When I learned about Ayala's plan, I started asking all my acquaintances about you, and so I discovered that you and Fernando had moved to Buenos Aires, - Casandra explained, with a hint of melancholy in her voice, lowering her gaze for a moment to look at the ground, -and I had no idea how to find you there. You were living in another country, in a big city, I didn't even know where to start looking for you. I'm so sorry Carolina...

The fact that Casandra was no longer looking her in the eyes made Carolina think that she was probably feeling genuinely guilty, and once again, her words seemed sincere. Which, as a matter of fact, made no sense at all. How could Casandra not know that Carolina had moved to Buenos Aires? She obviously knew, Carolina had written her a letter just to tell her she was leaving! And she hadn’t even bothered to answer her, by the way.

-What do you mean you didn’t know I was in Buenos Aires?

Casandra looked at her dumbfoundedly for a few seconds, remaining silent. In the end, the dark-haired woman replied: -I swear I didn't know Carolina, I had no idea. Well, in Rio I didn’t exactly use to hang out with higher class people, I used to work in a hotel, so even if people had been talking about it, I couldn't have...  
But Carolina abruptly interrupted her explanation, to give voice to the enormous doubt of disproportionate dimensions that was haunting her, and that she had stupidly never even considered for a year, at least before that moment: - Haven't you read the letter I wrote to you?

Once again, Carolina could only read a great confusion in Casandra's eyes, which made her question everything she had thought about her over the past twelve months. She felt her heart, which had finally begun to beat regularly again, return to beating madly inside her chest, while a strong feeling of agitation spread in her stomach, as she anxiously waited for Casandra's response.

\- I've never received any letters from you, Carolina.

And so, for the umpteenth time, Casandra Lenormand made Carolina Villanueva reconsider everything she thought she was sure of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update! Since chapter five was actually supposed to be the second part of chapter four, I just thought it was only fair to post the one that I was supposed to post this week. Uni is starting up tomorrow so I'm going to be quite busy, but as promised, I'll still do my best to update at least once a week!  
> So, Casandra and Carolina have finally met again! I know they haven't really talked much but since Carolina is still pretty out if it I thought she needed to recover before confronting Casandra, but they're definitely going to get to talk! Thanks for reading my fic!


	7. VII.

_One year earlier_

When Fernando broke the news to her it was a Thursday afternoon and the sky outside had been gray and cloudy all day. Natalia was there with them. Fernando had just returned home, he had one of the maids at their service call Carolina and ask her to meet him in the living room. As soon as she became aware of the presence of her sister-in-law, sitting at the table next to her brother with her usual cordial smile painted on her face (Carolina could never tell if her smiles were sincere or if they were simply meant to mock her, though she was ready to bet that in the past the second option had probably prevailed over the first more than once without her noticing) , she immediately realized that something was wrong. And indeed, just as expected, Fernando made her sit down and told her he had news to give her. Judging by his cheerful tone of voice and the little glint that was shining in his eyes, Carolina guessed it must have been good news; or that at least Fernando considered it as such. This notion managed to calm her, at first. At least before she found out what it actually was:

- _Mi amor_ , we’re moving to Buenos Aires.

At first, Carolina was slightly taken aback by the news. Well, actually, if she was to be completely honest, she certainly couldn't say it was a surprise, nor something that was coming out of the blue. Although this whole thing had just become real to her, it was something that Fernando must have had planned for some time, at least for several months, Carolina imagined. Fernando's trips to Buenos Aires had become increasingly frequent lately, as well as his working relationships with companies and businessmen from the Argentine capital. Often times Fernando had also invited Carolina to go with him and Natalia, but Carolina had always refused, imagining that she would be likely to end up being bored to death and feeling profoundly inadequate with respect to that work environment that she perceived as completely alien to her. Fernando never involved her in his business and his commercial activities more than he had to, not even when they were still living in Barcelona, and Carolina couldn’t see why that should have changed now.

Anyway, she could understand why her husband had decided to move his business to another city and seek his fortune elsewhere. Things in Rio had started to go downhill from the moment they had landed, one year before. Surely the delay with which the ship had arrived at the port, caused by the captain's unexpected deviation, had not helped. But the main reason for their problems was related to the scandal generated by the multiple murders committed aboard the ship, during its maiden voyage, on top of everything else. One of the responsible for the crimes had escaped and one year later she was still a fugitive, despite the police looking for her. The other two cases, fortunately, had been passed off as tragic accidents, both the suicide of the young third-class boy and Aníbal's fall from the stairs. But the most shocking case of all was obviously that of Rosa Marín. Carolina was not an expert in the field, but she was pretty sure that if the body of a person who had gone missing two years earlier was found aboard the ship you owned, that certainly wouldn’t help your reputation.

Luckily (so to speak) Francisca had clearly confessed to having been the author of the crime before dying, taking full responsibility for it. Carolina was deeply sorry for Verónica, and about the fact that she would have to live the rest of her days with her mother's memory completely besmirched by what had fundamentally been nothing more than an act of legitimate self-defense; however, the Fábregas family had really been left with no alternative. If they hadn’t told the police what they knew, Fernando and in all likelihood even Carolina herself would have been at the center of suspicions and police investigations, with the risk of ending up in prison for a crime they hadn’t committed. They had had to go back to Spain more than once, together with Eva and Natalia, to testify what happened on the ship and give their account of the events. More than once Carolina had wondered if Rosa's parents had also been present at one of the many hearings that had taken place… well, Rosa’s and Casandra’s.

And so, in a very short period of time not only had the Bárbara de Braganza gotten the reputation of being a dangerous, unsafe ship, owned by an unfaithful man who had tried to bury the events of his lover's death for years, with the sole purpose to save his reputation, but Carolina had also become the object of derision of all the members of high society whom her family had known for years: Fernando’s cheating on her and his plan to escape with another woman had become a fact of public knowledge, something a lot of people had talked about for quite some time. In addition to that, discovering that her own father had used the family business to collaborate with the Nazis could only worsen her situation.

Carolina’s life in Rio hadn't been easy at all, especially in the early days. Although she could speak Portuguese quite well (her parents had insisted that she and Eva received an excellent education; for this reason, among other things, both of them had been used since childhood to speak Portuguese, French, Italian and English) meeting new people was difficult. A couple of times Fernando had invited over for dinner the officers and businessmen he considered most trusted along with their wives, some of whom Carolina knew by sight. However, those meetings had not gone as hoped: Carolina had ended up feeling judged or humiliated more than once, albeit not directly. Even during the rare occasions when she wasn’t the lucky recipient of snarky comments, subtly referring to her husband’s infidelity, Carolina knew that that was what people were thinking anyway. At best, her story could only make other people pity her. Carolina didn’t even know which one of the various alternatives was the worst: unloved wife, potential murderer or victim.

Things hadn’t gone well for Fernando either: a sense of mistrust and lack of safety towards his ship had spread like wildfire, and fewer and fewer people were willing to entrust him with their goods for transport or, generally speaking, to travel with his company. The fact that his trusted partner, Aníbal, on whose support he had counted numerous times in the past, had passed away hadn't helped him. Carolina suspected that her husband had once again thrown himself into gambling, but she had neither the strength nor the will to voice her suspicions. However, about three months earlier, luckily things had slowly begun to change: thanks to some of his connections and contacts in Argentina, Fernando had begun to make business in Buenos Aires, and things had started to improve from there. His mood too had changed considerably to a much happier one, or so it seemed to Carolina. Too bad she couldn't say the same thing about herself.

And so, the news about moving had finally arrived. It was only a matter of time, Carolina knew it. And even so, despite imagining that sooner or later it had to happen anyway, how come she had still been taken by surprise as soon as everything had become official? Carolina felt a strange sense of dismay and disbelief, mixed with a certain amount of denial. Well, it was actually pretty stupid, all in all it could have been the best thing for her too. A fresh start, completely from scratch. Maybe in Buenos Aires no one would be aware of the troubled history of the Bárbara de Braganza, or at least only a very limited number of people would, people who in all probability would be likely to care very little about it. She could fit into the city's high society again, hang out with the wives of Fernando's business associates, be invited to dinners, ceremonies or parties; it was something that happened very rarely in Rio, and the few times Carolina had actually attended such events she had felt so uncomfortable that from then on she had basically started declining each of the few invitations that had been sent to her. Everything would go back to being the way it used to be, and she could be happy again. Yet, instead of rejoicing, as she probably should have done, her brain voiced an annoying question that Carolina had been trying to ignore for about a year or so: would that really be enough?

Or would she still continue to feel as though her life was missing something, despite the social prestige, a wide network of friendships and her husband's business going well again? In front of Fernando she feigned a smile and claimed to be really happy about the second chance that life had offered them, but deep down, no matter how hard she tried not to listen to herself, she knew perfectly well the answer to that question.

If she had asked the version of herself who had left Barcelona aboard the Bárbara de Braganza a year earlier, the answer would have been a firm and convinced yes, with no doubt nor hesitation. She had married the man she loved, and although she knew he had made mistakes in the past, he'd always come back to her, so that's all that mattered, right? In all likelihood, Eva and her uncle would come with them, and given Carolina’s outgoing and cheerful personality, she would have no problem making new friends and social connections right away. However, now it seemed to her that none of those things mattered any more. It felt as though they belonged to a version of herself that was completely different and so much distant from the woman she had become, that it almost felt like another life.

She and Fernando had discussed it, anyway. Well, “it” didn’t exactly mean what had happened between Casandra and Carolina, the latter had preferred to keep it strictly to herself. On the one hand, she was ashamed to death at the thought of having all those feelings for another woman, let alone admitting them out loud; on the other hand, she and Casandra had bonded and connected in such an intimate and deep way that she perceived it as too personal to be shared with other people. The only person with whom Carolina had ever felt comfortable talking about it was her sister Eva, mostly because she was really open-minded, devoid of prejudices and preconceptions; secondly, because by the time Carolina had become aware of her feelings, she had felt lost, confused and completely adrift, having no idea what to do. If she hadn't had someone to share all her doubts, uncertainties and fears with, she probably would have gone mad.

However, even though Casandra was still a taboo subject, she and Fernando had discussed their relationship a few days after arriving in Rio. He had been quite honest with her: he hadn’t tried to deny or minimize his behavior, nor his feelings for Rosa, but on the contrary he had confirmed what he had already admitted aboard the ship, namely that he had been ready to run away with her, if Francisca hadn't got in the way. Carolina didn’t even know whether her interference had ultimately done her any good or not. Anyway, Fernando had assured her that a long time had passed, and that although for the first few months he too had done everything in his power to find Rosa (ensuring the utmost discretion in doing so), in the end he had had to resign himself to the fact that the woman he loved was gone forever, and then he had slowly began to see her as a closed chapter of his life. He had moved forward and since then he could only see Carolina in his future, their marriage and their life together. He had promised her that from then on he would be faithful to her and he had also told her that he was willing to give her time if Carolina needed it. And then, Carolina's inner voice had once again asked her that very same question: would that be enough for her?

Carolina had told him that she actually needed some time to think, but the truth was that she had done nothing but emotionally distance herself from him, more and more with each passing day, to the point that they often didn’t even eat their meals together. The thought that years before she had been a loving, deeply devoted fiancée, who thought that marrying the man she loved would fulfill her greatest dream, all while Fernando had been one step away from leaving her for good and running away with another woman, without taking into consideration Carolina in the least, and all the unconditional love that she had been ready to give him, made her feel as though she was worth nothing. A perennial and constant doubt would never stop tormenting her: what if Rosa had been the great love of Fernando's life, and no matter how hard Carolina could try, she could never take the place Rosa had occupied in his heart? What if all she could ever aspire to was be a simple, mere substitute, a replacement?

And then, there was Casandra. Carolina couldn't stop thinking about her, about what could have happened if, as she herself had told her some time before, she had been brave enough to make the right choice, to listen to what she was actually feeling deep down. The thing was that, unfortunately, she had never managed to get a real closure with Casandra. Carolina had gotten off the Bárbara de Braganza feeling more confused than ever about her feelings, but she had been sure that, despite everything they had been through, whether she wanted or not she felt something for her. And despite all that time, Carolina had never stopped. She had thought so many times to write to her, to get in touch with her, to go and find her, see her... but she never managed to find the strength to do so. The idea of seeing her again, of bringing all those feelings and memories back to life scared her to death. What if after seeing her again she was to realize that she wanted to be with her, that she wanted to forgive her, to give a chance to that intense and tormented feeling? What would have happened then?

After that sad and unhappy year had gone by Carolina was pretty sure that her feelings for Fernando had almost completely disappeared; both of them had been immersed in their own pain and frustrations and they hadn’t been able to find the strength to overcome them together. Carolina was sure that, regardless of Casandra and her lies and what they felt for each other, she would no longer be happy with Fernando. Well, of course, she could have a fresh start in Buenos Aires to have a chance to feel happy and satisfied with her life as a whole, but certainly not with her marriage.

On the other hand, however, the role of a faithful, loving wife had been so firmly instilled in Carolina's mind ever since she was a child, just as her duty to fulfill it, that the thought of a life without Fernando frightened her tremendously. She didn't know if she would be able to pull through without him, she didn't know if she could just love another woman and expect the rest of the world to accept that. She herself had not yet been able to fully accept it, let alone society!

Anyway, now that Fernando had told her that they were indeed moving to Buenos Aires, that it was real and it was happening, Carolina felt like she was at a crossroads. If she agreed to leave with him, to leave Rio de Janeiro forever, in all probability she and Casandra would never see each other again (assuming that in the meantime Casandra hadn't moved to live elsewhere). Was she really ready for this? Could she really pretend to start from scratch, and at the same time carry within herself the regret of a feeling she never got the chance to express? No, if Carolina really wanted to be happy in her future, she would first need to get closure with Casandra, one way or another. She couldn't walk away and leave the city without even saying goodbye to her. She still didn't know what she would say to her, nor what to expect from her, what to hope for, but she simply decided to just let her feelings guide her. The moment she would look her in the eyes she would probably figure out by herself what was right for the both of them, what was the right choice.

While Fernando was opening the bottle of champagne he had especially bought for the occasion, Carolina found herself thinking that perhaps it was her old self the one who had got everything figured out, really. She definitely would be able to have a carefree toast with her husband and her sister-in-law, and to enjoy the simplicity and happiness of that moment. After her first voyage aboard the Bárbara de Braganza, however, nothing had ever been simple again. Not since Carolina had met Casandra Lenormand (or Carmen Marín, if you prefer) and for the first time ever she had felt like a real, proper person, in control of her own fate and actions and with her own desires and needs; she had felt as though she had finally stopped living of reflected light. Casandra may have lied to her about the existence of ghosts plotting their revenge from the afterlife, but the feelings Carolina had felt were all real. Each of the things she'd felt over the week they'd spent together had been authentic and sincere, and not even time and distance had been enough to erase them. Being with Casandra, for the first time ever Carolina realized that she was able to shine with her own light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there! I apoloize for the hiatsu, as I've said in the previous chapter I'm having really busy weeks with uni and stuff, but I'm better now, so I should be able to start posting chapters regularly. I've already written most of the story, the thing is I have to translate it and that's kind of boring ahaha anyways, I know this chapter is a bit static but I think it was important to explore Carolina's side of the story in order to understand where she's standing when she and Casandra meet again, what happened to her in Rio and with Fernando. Of course there's more to that, you'll find out more in the next chapters! The next one was supposed to be a flashback of a missing moment set during season two between Casandra and Carolina but I've already published it as a stand alone one-shot because I thought no one would be interested in reading the whole story ahaha so in case you haven't read it yet, go read my one shot! I'll update as fast as I can, I want you to know that I appreciate every person who's taking their time to read my story, so thank you very much!


	8. VIII.

_Present days_

-I have never received any letters from you, Carolina.

At first, Casandra wasn't sure she understood correctly. That was why she had repeated aloud what she thought she had heard, so that Carolina could confirm that she had misunderstood. However, contrary to her expectations, Carolina's response did not contradict her. Not on what Casandra expected, at least:

-What do you mean you haven’t? That’s impossible.

Carolina was looking genuinely surprised, at least as much as Casandra. It was obvious that the two women didn’t share the same understanding of the situation. If Casandra had ever received a letter from Carolina, she surely would remember it. And she definitely would have replied to it.

-No, I haven’t, - Casandra reiterated. -I don't know, maybe you wrote the wrong address and it got lost? Sometimes it happens... - Casandra tried to guess. If that had been the case, it would have been a cruel twist of fate. Depending on what Carolina had wanted to tell her, things could have turned out very differently for the two of them... and now, neither of them would have been here, hiding in a small boarding house in Caracas. Carolina wouldn’t have been kidnapped, and Casandra wouldn’t have had to live for six months with the agonizing thought of seeing her die.

-No, it's not possible, - Carolina repeated in a weak, but at the same time determined voice. She sounded quite sure of what she was saying. And in fact, she didn’t take long to explain why: - I came to your house to give it to you, but you weren't there.

-You did?

Casandra felt a mixture of different feelings, the moment she realized that Carolina had visited the small house, not to call it a shack, in which she had lived for two years, in the industrial district built around the church of São Cristóvão. As soon as they had gotten out of prison, Casandra and the other former castaways had found themselves alone and penniless. They had heard that the area was full of factories and that it was very easy to find a job there, in recent years many people from every corner of Brazil had moved there to seek their fortune, or at least to get a job. And since the group had been left with nothing, a job was what they had desperately needed.

They had temporarily settled in a guesthouse for the first few weeks, with rather questionable sanitation and rooms so small that it made the Caracas guesthouse look like a royal palace (which was saying something). They had found work in a steel factory, and despite being subjected to exhausting shifts from morning to night (the city's high temperatures certainly didn't help) at least they could afford to eat. A short time later they had found the house they had ended up moving to permanently. It was small, very small, and the materials with which it was built and furnished were anything but quality, but it was also all they could afford at the time. And it was certainly better than the overcrowded guesthouse, anyway: at least there the group could have some privacy, and they wouldn't have to share a bathroom with more than twenty people.

This did not change the fact that inside it was practically a hole: beside the bathroom and kitchen, the five of them only had one bedroom, with a double bed that Casandra shared with Teresa and Gloria. Erich and Simon, on the other hand, had been forced to sleep on folding cots. The job at the hotel had come only three months later, and only thanks to Erich, who in the meantime had continued to search for alternatives and inquire about other job offers. Given his work experience he had managed to secure a place as a waiter in the Copacabana Palace grand hotel, and shortly thereafter as soon as he heard of vacancies, he managed to get the rest of his friends in. The pay was certainly higher and the job a little less tiring, but this didn't mean it was a piece of cake either: the work shifts were still long and exhausting, and the managers expected a lot from employees, who were being scolded very frequently. Another problem was also the location of their home: it was located in a part of the city quite far from the luxurious hotel, and the group was forced to spend almost three hours a day on the urban trains that connected the various districts of Rio de Janeiro. On the other hand, moving elsewhere wasn’t an option, or at least within the Copacabana neighborhood: it was an area of the city which was mostly known for its luxury, frequented by sophisticated people who loved nightlife; Casandra and the others could have never afforded an apartment there, not even by adding up their salaries.

And so, as they had figured that looking for another place to stay wouldn’t have been worth it, since they couldn't afford to have high standards with their limited budget, they had simply stayed there. It was certainly a very different standard of living from what Casandra was used to in Spain, but she had to adapt. Carolina, on the other hand, must have had spent most of her time in quite a different environment, Casandra imagined. She certainly didn’t live in an industrial neighborhood, and certainly not in some kind of shack. The idea that Carolina had to come into contact with such different living conditions only to get in touch with her mortified Casandra. She could only guess Carolina's unease and what she must have thought of her, of the kind of life she was leading; however, it also gave her some kind of hope, albeit small. If Carolina had decided to reach such a far part of the town only for her, then the message she had to give her was really important.  
  
  
-I did, - Carolina answered, nodding. -Erich was there. He told me you were at work, that he would give you my letter later, when you’d come back.  
  
  
Casandra was left speechless. Needless to say, Erich had obviously never told her about Carolina's visit, much less about the letter she had written her. And yet he knew how much Casandra cared about her, and although she had never really properly told him about the true nature of her feelings for Carlos Villanueva's eldest daughter, Casandra was pretty sure he had figured it out on his own. Yes, he had been trying to convince Casandra to forget about Carolina for ages, to let her go and move on, to go back to Spain, to Vigo, to her family; her home. But Casandra had always refused, and despite appreciating his advice and his fatherly-like support, she had told him so many times how much she still cared for Carolina, and that as long as there was a chance that she would forgive her and decide to see her again or to get in touch with her, Casandra wouldn’t leave Rio. Even if that meant continuing to work as a dishwasher for years. Casandra had expected that, even though Erich didn’t approve of what she felt and had always manifested it quite clearly, at least he would respect it. How could he have done such a thing to her? That unexpected revelation felt like a cold shower, like a jet of frozen water capable of getting into her bones, while a bitter feeling of betrayal immediately erased the happiness she had felt at the awareness that, perhaps, there was still a hope for her and Carolina.

-I swear he never told me, Carolina. I swear. If he had, I would have come to you immediately, - Casandra assured her, speaking with agitation. She certainly didn't want Carolina to think that she had moved on, that she no longer cared about her, because that was obviously not the case. After a brief hesitation, Casandra mustered the courage to stretch out a hand towards Carolina's, squeezing it vigorously in an attempt to emphasize, once again, the truthfulness of her words. Carolina had no way of knowing all of that, of course. She must have thought for more than a year that Casandra had just played her the whole time, even when it came to her feelings for her, or at least that they obviously weren’t strong enough to last. If only she could go back in time and fix it... at least it wasn’t a cruel twist of fate, Casandra now perfectly knew who was the person that had messed everything up.

Meanwhile, Carolina didn't answer. She must have been quite tired and dazed, because of both the sedative she had been given and her emotional and psychological state. She and Casandra just kept looking at each other in silence for moments that felt like an eternity. Neither of them felt the need to put into words what they were thinking, sensing that, in all probability, they already knew. If only Erich hadn’t gotten in the way, maybe things could have been different for them. And yet, there they were... and as much as they wanted to go back they couldn’t, and there was nothing they could do to change that. However, Casandra hoped that at least their future could be different. Now she knew that Carolina had been looking for her. Her brain hadn’t stopped obsessively thinking about the content of the letter even for a moment, ever since she had learned of its existence. But first she had to make sure that Carolina believed her:

-Carolina, do you believe me? - Casandra finally asked. The fact that in the meantime Carolina hadn’t pulled her hand away from hers gave her some kind of hope (although it could have simply been due to her temporary numbness).

Carolina shifted her gaze away, to the open window that overlooked the courtyard. -I need some water, - she finally said, without looking Casandra in the eyes. She pointed to an empty glass on the floor, which Veroníca had probably brought to her earlier.

-Yes, I'll get it right away, - Casandra replied, jumping up to comply with the request. Carolina hadn't said she believed her, but she hadn’t said that she didn’t either, which could be interpreted as a positive sign, in some way.

When Casandra returned she was holding a pitcher of water filled almost to the brim, so that if Carolina needed to drink again she could easily do it. She poured some water into the glass and slowly brought it to Carolina’s lips: -Here.

In that moment, Casandra was definitely taken by surprise: after an initial lack of response, Carolina jerked and suddenly drew back, as if she was frightened. Her back slammed against the wall behind her, as a trail of terror crossed her eyes. Casandra, frightened by the noise in return, instinctively pulled her arm back, terrified at the thought of having said or done anything that could have upset Carolina.

-Carolina, are you all right? – She worriedly asked, putting the glass back on the ground. Carolina finally looked at her, and it seemed as if her eyes had just taken in the fact that the person who speaking to her was Casandra.

-I... I’m sorry, I can't be here.

Carolina tried to get up, but ended up failing in her intent. Casandra looked at her puzzled, unsure what to do. What was going on? Had she upset her, without even realizing it? Did she hate her so much that she didn't want to be in the same room with her?

-Carolina, what’s going on? - Casandra asked, quite puzzled. As she saw Carolina get out of bed to try to get on her feet, the dark-haired woman did the same thing, worried about her intentions. But Carolina, as was to be expected, was still unable to move properly: evidently her body was not yet ready for such an effort, and as a result she fell to the ground immediately after standing up. Well, actually, she was just about to fall to the ground: Casandra's arms caught her just in time to avoid it. As she kept her hands firmly on Carolina’s shoulders to support her, Casandra settled her back on the bed, making her sit up and sitting down next to her.

-I can't do this, - Carolina said in a faint voice. Copious tears began to fall from her eyes as her voice broke into a stifled sob. Casandra felt her heart breaking in her chest into a thousand pieces: each one of Carolina’s tears was like a stab in the heart. And then she forgot all about everything, about Erich, about the letter, about the ship. All that mattered was Carolina, and above all, to find a way to reassure her. Her protective instinct immediately prevailed over all her fears, and in an almost automatic gesture she wrapped the other woman in her arms and hugged her. Carolina let herself burst into a cleansing cry, as she rested her head on Casandra’s chest.

-It's okay, - Casandra whispered, stroking her long, blond hair. -It is normal that you cannot stand up yet, you are still very weak. You need to rest.

Carolina shook her head. -No,- she said through the tears, -I just can't stay here, - as she nodded towards the bed.

It was then that Casandra understood. And she also felt pretty stupid for not having realized it before. Of course, how could she not get it? Carolina had just spent three days forced to be in a bed, under the effect of a sedative that prevented her from moving any muscle in her body, with the knowledge that a person with her very same face had stolen her identity and threatened to kill her – and she probably would have actually done it, if she had been given the opportunity to. It was normal that the last thing she wanted to do now was stay in a bed. When Casandra had held out a glass towards her, she must have been reminded of the three nightmarish days she had just passed, in which Carmen must have gave her food and water in the exact same way. Casandra felt a pang in her heart, as a horrible feeling of nausea spread in her throat. The mere thought of all the horrible things Carolina had endured made her feel broken. Luckily, everything had ultimately gone well for both of them.

-Carolina, it's all over now, - Casandra assured her. But Carolina kept crying, frightened.

-Carolina, look at me, - she continued. She then put a hand under Carolina's chin to gently make the other woman look into her eyes. -It's over, you're not on the ship anymore. You are safe now, you are not alone, no one will hurt you.

Carolina nodded weakly, as tears continued to stream down her cheeks, in silence. – I’m sorry, for a moment it felt like...  
But she didn’t finish her sentence. Casandra nodded, to let her know that she understood, and that there was no need for her to struggle to put that painful memory into words.  
-It's okay, that’s natural, you must be really tired. You are still very weak, you need to rest.

Carolina sighed. -I don't want to stay in bed anymore, Casandra. I feel like I can’t breathe.

Casandra nodded, absorbed in her thoughts. She certainly couldn't blame her, it was natural for her to feel like that, but it was also true that Carolina certainly didn't have the strength to go out and get some fresh air, wandering around in Venezuela. She needed to rest. And in order to do it, she didn’t have much of a choice, she had to stay in bed. Unless she was willing to just lay on the floor, but with all the dust and bacteria of course that wasn’t even remotely an option. Not to mention that Carolina would be very uncomfortable.

In that moment an idea came to her. It certainly wasn’t the best solution, but at least it was a start.

-All right. What if I went to get you a cot, so you can lie down and rest for a while? It's not exactly comfortable, but at least it's not a bed... I don't know, maybe that could help you.

Carolina looked pensive, as if she was carefully considering Casandra's proposal. In the end, the woman sighed and gave up: -Okay, it’s better than nothing. I don’t feel so well.

Casandra nodded. - Wait for me then, okay?

At Carolina's nod, Casandra got up to go to her room, in which she had slept the previous night, along with her friends. One of the two rooms they had booked inside the boarding house had a double bed, where Carolina and Veroníca had slept. However, the other five of them had stayed in the other, which featured two single beds that had been assigned to the two older women of the group: Casandra had settled on a cot, as had Erich and Simon. After all, it was only temporary. After taking the foldable cot on which she had slept, Casandra returned to the other room. Luckily Carolina was still there, she had only gotten out of bed to sit on the chair. She looked really upset, as she was rubbing her temple looking really tired.

-Here it is, - Casandra said, bending over to the ground to unfold the cot. -I'll make it for you, so you can get some sleep.  
She remembered seeing the manager of the boarding house pull the sheets out of the closet last night, which is why Casandra thought of checking there to see if there were any more. Fortunately, there were still three clean, folded pairs left. While she was making up that improvised bed, she heard Carolina call out to her, in a tried voice: -Casandra?

-Yes? - she replied, looking up at her.

-Now what?

Casandra frowned, not sure what she meant. Maybe she hadn’t realized she was changing the sheet?

-Now? Well, you need to regain your strength and maybe later get something to eat, if you feel like it.

-No, I mean, now... - Carolina paused briefly, sighing. Meanwhile, Casandra took her pillow and the sheets in which she had slept the night before and placed them momentarily on the empty bed, before opening the wardrobe and taking out an unused pair. - Now, here. What are we doing? - Carolina asked in the meantime, as she looked around confused. -What do I do after I recover?

Oh. _That._ Casandra would have actually preferred to talk about it later, but since she was asking...

-Well, I wanted to talk to you about it later, calmly, - she began, as she made the cot with meticulous attention. -However, if you do want to know, there is a ship that is sailing in ten days from the port of La Guaira, headed for Buenos Aires. You can get on it and go back to your home, if that is what you wish. We do have some money, you can use it to buy the ticket.

Carolina nodded absently. Meanwhile, Casandra finished changing the sheets. She took back the pillow she had momentarily put aside and she placed it on the cot, so that Carolina would have a place to rest her head.

-Done. Here, I’ll help you.

Casandra approached Carolina to help her get to the cot and lay down. The latter accepted her help without protesting: she let her gently hold her up, and together they walked the short distance that separated the chair to the cot. Then, once they got there, Casandra helped her lie down, tucking her into the sheets as she crouched momentarily on the ground to be able to do it more easily. Not that it was cold outside, quite the opposite, it was a very warm day, but she imagined that Carolina would fall asleep more easily like that, and that being under the covers would make her feel more protected and safer.

As she was looking at Carolina lying on the cot, Casandra thought that she truly was full of light, just as she had told her two years earlier. She was so sweet and pure, and if it had been up to her, she would have made everything in her power to make her constantly feel safe, loved and protected. She just couldn't understand how anyone could hurt her, or even just wish they would. Carolina Villanueva deserved everything in the world, possibly even more. She deserved to live a long, happy life, to achieve anything she wanted and to be surrounded by people who could love her unconditionally. If that meant Casandra had to step aside and let her go she would do it, even though it would hurt like hell.

-Do you feel better here?

Carolina nodded. Casandra imagined that she probably wasn’t very comfortable, but at least she was mentally at ease. She was just about to ask her if she needed anything else when Carolina turned her head to look at her and said:

-What about you? What will you do?

-When? - Casandra replied, - are you referring to now or in general?

-In general. Will you go back to Rio?

Casandra bit her lower lip. It was one of the many things she wanted to tell her about later, more calmly. -No, I don't think I'm going back to Rio...

_I don’t have a reason to stay there anymore._

-I’ll go live with my relatives in France. I have family there, I sent them a letter a few months ago, they said they’d be happy to have me live with them. Erich and the others will go back to Spain, to Vigo.

-So it's true that your parents are French, - Carolina mindlessly commented. Casandra smiled at the thought that she remembered such a useless and trivial piece of information like that, which made her stupidly happy for some reason.

-Yeah, well, just my mom actually. Lenormand is her family name, which is why I used it.

Carolina hinted at a smile and Casandra felt happy to see that she had relaxed, at least a little bit.

-What about Casandra? – she asked. -Is that your middle name?

-No, - Casandra replied, shaking her head, but still softened by the fact that Carolina had thought so anyway. -I just made that up. It's a character from the Iliad, my father often read it to me and Rosa when we were kids.

-My uncle Pedro likes the Iliad too, - Carolina replied, smiling back at her. Her voice had become heavier, Casandra could almost feel how tired she was. She obviously needed to rest and regain her strength.

-My favorite character was actually Hector, - Casandra clarified. She felt comfortable talking about it since Carolina had read the book as well and therefore she knew what she was talking about. -But I also liked Casandra a lot. I kind of felt like her. I told my sister so many times to leave Fernando alone, to move on, I told her not to come between an engaged couple, that actions have consequences... but she never listened to me, she never believed me. And then, look how it ended. I thought the name would suit me.

-Yes, - Carolina agreed, -it makes sense.

Casandra figured she should let her rest, but first she felt there was something she needed to tell her. -Carolina, - she called out to her. The blond-haired woman turned to look at her, struggling to keep her eyes open. -Before I leave for France, I'd like to talk to you. There are so many things I want to tell you, and ask you... not now clearly, but when you feel better, if you want to listen to me, of course. It would be really important to me.

Carolina nodded. -Yes, I have to talk to you too.

Casandra smiled. She was relieved to see that Carolina was open to dialogue. She must have believed her as far as the letter was concerned, and she probably wanted clarification as well. But it wasn't just that.

\- All right, we'll talk when you get better then. Do you want me to go now, so that you can get some rest? If you do need me though, I’d be happy to stay.  
Carolina hesitated for a moment before answering, probably debating the matter to herself. The ship headed to Genoa would only leave in a week anyway, so Casandra didn't have much else to do in those days. She was willing to be there for Carolina and support her physically and emotionally as much as she wanted her to.

-Will you stay with me, if it’s fine by you? Please... - Carolina asked. -I don't want to be alone, - she admitted, her voice trembling with hesitation.

-Yes, of course I'll stay, - Casandra reassured her. -I'll stay as long as you want, Carolina. You're not alone, - she whispered softly, -I won't leave you.


	9. IX

_Meanwhile, aboard the Bárbara de Braganza_

Natalia Fábregas was an extremely cynical person and generally dissatisfied with life, but she wasn't stupid. She knew that on board the ship she co-owned with her brother there was something wrong going on, something shady. Well, besides the fact that the entire crew had turned against her and Fernando and had them locked up in the latter's cabin, along with Eva and Carolina Villanueva. But that was an established problem, of which the woman had been aware since the night before, when the mutiny had begun.

During the masquerade party, she and Fernando couldn't help but notice, along with the rest of the passengers, that the ship had mysteriously stopped. Of course they had all been too caught up in the festive atmosphere and the fireworks that had lit up the sky with a thousand bright colors in those minutes to think that that small, insignificant detail could mean something. She and Fernando, on the other hand, were certainly not regular passengers. When they had gone to talk to the new captain, Héctor Birabent, expecting to be told that the ship was simply having some mechanical trouble, nothing to worry about, and that everything would be fixed within seconds, the two had found themselves handcuffed and, shortly after, locked up in Fernando's cabin. Eva and Carolina had also been forced to join them no less than ten minutes later, not without endless protests on both sides, as if it were a matter of life and death. Fernando, sitting on the sofa, had mostly been in the throes of a nervous breakdown. In the meantime, Natalia had been the only one able to keep her nerve and not let fear get to her head.

Yes, her family's business was in the hands of a complete stranger who had openly expressed his intention to take control of their ship and change its route, without even revealing the destination to which he intended to take them. And yet, at the end of the day, what was the worst thing that could happen? Was her life going to be ruined? Was she going to lose all her money and her family fortune? Was she going to have to start working in a factory to be able to afford to eat? Yes, possibly. So? It wasn't like Natalia's life hadn't already been ruined. Her conscience wasn’t going to let her forget Clara's face and her incredible voice, every night as soon as she fell asleep the thought of her came back to haunt her. She didn't care about her late husband, she never had. If Clara hadn't killed him that night with that glass vase she would have ended up doing it herself, and not even after a long time. It had been a matter of survival: if she hadn't taken the matter into her own hands and hadn't done something to save herself, sooner or later one of Aníbal's many drunk beatings would have probably been fatal to her.

Clara, on the other hand, was a completely different matter. She was so young and beautiful and full of life. In a way, she reminded Natalia of the life she had never been able to live, of the version of herself she could have become if she hadn't been overwhelmed by the obligations and expectations her family had on her ever since she was just a child. Her only “fault” was that she had been in the wrong place at the wrong time – probably not entirely wrong though, given that if she hadn’t showed up Natalia would have most likely died that night. Despite that, some nights she had even come to wonder if maybe that would have actually been the best option for everyone. After all, who even cared about her? Nobody did. Maybe her brother, in his own way, and then no one else.

Natalia had rarely been happy before the Bárbara de Braganza's maiden voyage, afterwards – basically never. And she knew that it was certainly not her fault if Clara had decided to kill herself, she knew that she had tried to help her and support her, but she clearly had not succeeded in doing in it; the guilty had prevailed on the young singer and it had gotten the best of her. Natalia had handled the whole situation badly, she had become overwhelmed by anxiety, fear, despair, and in a completely stupid and inappropriate moment of weakness she had thrown herself into Pierre's arms, in the faint hope of finding some comfort. A part of herself kept wondering if Clara would still be alive, if only she hadn't been so foolish and weak. Probably not, but the mere fact that there was even a tiny hope for that constantly kept her up at night.

And therefore, Natalia no longer cared about anything, really. She might have as well let Héctor take her ship, burn it, sink it, ruin them all. That was what she deserved anyway. If that could help honor Clara's memory and make her rest in peace, then she would gladly accept whatever fate had in store for her.  
  
  
This did not mean that in the short course of her momentary imprisonment she did not wish to be entertained as much as possible. And, in that specific case, the object of her entertainment was Carolina Villanueva. Natalia was not stupid, she had observed the behavior of her sister-in-law over the interminable hours that they had spent together, and she could say with certainty that something very strange was happening. Something wrong was going on with Carolina, it had to. Otherwise how could she possibly explain the abnormal behavior she was exhibiting towards her brother Fernando, out of nowhere?

Ever since she had arrived in the room, after having spent almost two hours shouting, opposing and angrily banging on the door – that had actually been the first sign that there was something wrong, Carolina had never been capable of such fury and violence - and having subsequently calmed down and resigned to their inevitable fate, the blond-haired woman had begun to behave like a devoted and faithful wife, who was deeply in love with her husband. The two had practically spent all the time clinging to each other, and there had been no moment in which Carolina did not take the opportunity to hug him, caress him, kiss him and talk to him, asking to be reassured. Which didn't make any sense, since Natalia was perfectly aware that Carolina wasn't in love with her brother. Not only had she confirmed it more than once, but Carolina herself had explicitly told her so about a year ago, as she had been on the verge of abandoning him to run away from her marriage. How could she blame her? If she had been in a position to do so when Aníbal was still alive, Natalia would not have missed the opportunity for anything in the world. Even at the cost of going to work as a dishwasher who knows where.

In the end, Carolina had stayed with him, but this did not change how she felt about him. And anyway, what her brother had told her about their relationship had only confirmed what Natalia already knew for sure. And now, all of a sudden, Carolina's behavior had changed completely, as if she had suddenly become another person. And if it hadn't been absurd, Natalia might have actually thought that this was not actually Carolina, but a completely different person. Determined to have fun and test her sister-in-law - after all, they still had to find a way to kill time, right? - the owner of the ship got up from the armchair on which she was sitting (and where she had reluctantly had to spend the night) to go and sit next to the young married couple, curled together at the right end of the sofa.  
Natalia’s movement through the room got everyone’s attention, including Eva’s, who was sitting on the opposite side of the sofa. Natalia was then exactly in the middle, between the couple and the young writer.

-Carolina, - Natalia called out to her.

-Yes? - Carolina replied, giving her a polite smile. Fernando also turned to look at her, with a raised eyebrow, probably curious to hear what his sister had to say.  
  
  
-These days have been so busy that it only occurred to me now, I’ve been meaning to tell you that the other day in Buenos Aires I ran into Casandra.  
  
  
Of course it wasn't true, Natalia just wanted to test her reaction. Her words were followed by a silence filled with tension. Eva and Fernando glanced at Carolina with a look full of expectation, probably expecting some emotional reaction from her. Natalia also raised an eyebrow, impatiently waiting for her response.

_So? What do you have to say about it, Carolina Villanueva?_

Carolina's answer finally came. -You did? And what did she tell you?

A smart, vague and general answer. Plausible, that was for sure, but still suspicious. Natalia would certainly not give up so easily. -Nothing much, really - she replied, shrugging, -only that she says hi and that she would like to see you one of these days, as soon as you get back to Buenos Aires.

If possible, the look that Fernando was giving his wife became more intense, as well as Eva’s, as Natalia observed by turning fleetingly towards the younger of the two sisters.

-Of course,- Carolina finally replied, visibly hesitant, -when I come back then I'll see her.

Well, what had been just a vague, delusional rambling earlier was now slowly starting to become some sort of suspicion. _Sort of._ It was literally impossible for Carolina Villanueva to respond in that way to such a statement. And that was what Fernando and Eva also must have though, so much so that the latter immediately replied:

-What do you mean you’ll you see her, Carol?! - Eva answered indignantly, immediately fomented by the mere possibility, -after everything she did to you?! And what was she doing in Buenos Aires, anyway? And how did she know we were leaving the city?!

- _Mí amor_ , Eva is right, that’s nonsense, - Fernando reiterated, -given how much that woman has hurt us, she should stay away from us for the rest of her life. She got lucky that when we arrived in Rio we were so caught up in the hell that broke out during the voyage and the whole Rosa thing that we did not want to make things worse and press charges against her, and only because you felt sorry for her and insisted. But if the circumstances had been different, she would be in jail in Rio by now and never get out of there again.

Well, that was a bit extreme, Natalia commented to herself. Sure, Cassandra had sowed panic among the passengers and made everyone believe the ship was haunted, but that could basically almost be considered as some sort of unique an eccentric form of entertainment. Fernando basically should have thanked her, according to Natalia, otherwise who knows how boring the crossing would have been. Of course, what had happened with Aníbal and Clara hadn’t allowed her to be bored for even a second, but it was still some sort of mini drama that Natalia could certainly have enjoyed in other circumstances. She could almost admire the imagination and cleverness Casandra had showed in devising that diabolically ingenious plan. After all, it wasn’t like she had killed anyone, nor was she guilty of equally serious sins, according to Natalia.

-Fernando is right, that woman is dangerous Carol, - Eva insisted, -if you want to see her it's your choice but think it through. Don’t forget how much she hurt you.  
  
  
It was true, Natalia agreed to herself, Carolina had suffered a lot because of her. There was no way she could hear her name mentioned and react with such lightness. As the minutes were passing by, Natalia's suspicions began to slowly become a kind of feeble and rambling theory.

-Yeah, sure, maybe you're right, that’s what’s best for everyone, - Carolina finally concluded weakly. -I’m just feeling so tired right now, I hardly realize what I’m saying.

Fernando then tilted his head slightly to kiss her forehead, stroking her hair.

-Don’t worry my love, we are all very shaken. Soon everything will be all right and we’ll get out of here. We still have Nicolas on board the Roncesvalles, he will surely realize that something is wrong and he will help us, I trust him.

Carolina nodded weakly, resting her head on his chest. Natalia then got up, feeling a pang of nausea hit her in the stomach from the excessive gooeyness. The woman turned to look at Eva and saw the same confused and unconvinced look on her face. Fernando was a man, of course a few nice words were enough to make him forget about everything else. They, on the other hand, given that they could see the situation from the outside, had immediately understood that something was wrong. However, Natalia decided to keep her suspicions to herself, at least for the moment. Firstly because, even if she wanted to share them with Eva, she wouldn’t be able to find a way to do it (on a logistical level, since they were all confined within the same space and there was very little possibility of communicating without others hearing them). And secondly, they were just suspicions. Vague suspicions based on nothing that could have been proven by concrete facts and proofs. Sure, proving that someone was not actually themselves in a concrete way would have been nearly impossible, but still. And then, for the first time in a long time Fernando finally seemed happy. Who was Natalia to rain on his parade?

Despite this, by now the woman's curiosity had been piqued. She didn't have much to do on the ship anyway, so it was worth giving it a try. If she remembered correctly, her father had once told her about an accident in which Carolina's family had been involved when she was still a toddler, while Eva hadn’t even been born. Natalia hadn't listened very carefully because, honestly, she hadn’t been that much interested in that. However, for some reason, her brain had still taken in the information.

Well, at the time it had been quite a popular news, it had appeared in all kinds of newspapers and everyone had been talking about it for some time, but Natalia herself must have been only a few-month-old, so she certainly couldn’t remember it first-hand. Here, now it was all coming back to her, her father had said that the Villanueva had been known for that “accident” that had happened when Carolina was only a few months old, but otherwise they had always been a wealthy and respectable family, another reason as to why their eldest daughter would have been a good match for Fernando. He hadn't said more. And of course neither she nor Fernando had been particularly interested in asking. Good.

If it had really been that important to the Villanueva family, then Natalia could undoubtedly think of at least one person who would surely know what it was about. Or at least someone who might or might not be able to confirm what, for the moment, were only vague and distant suspicions. Gathering her courage, Natalia went to the door and knocked vigorously, in an attempt to draw the attention of the officer who had been placed on guard. The astonished glances of Eva, Carolina and Fernando immediately returned to her.

\- Officer, open up. I need to speak to Héctor.

-Natalia, what are you doing? - Fernando asked, his voice full of perplexity, while Carolina tightened her grip on him possessively.

-Don't worry,- she reassured them, -I have a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! I apologize for the delay of the chapter, I'm really trying my best to update as often as I can but with uni and everything it's tough! I have every intention of finishing my fanfic and give Carol and Casandra the ending they actually deserved. So, in this chapter the focus is on one of my favourite character, Natalia, I know that right now it may seem pointless but this storyline will continue (not in the next chapter though) and through her the whole Diana storyline will finally get a proper explanation. Also, I just really love Natalia and I enjoy writing using her pov, I relate to her a lot LOL I hope you liked it!  
> 


	10. X

_Caracas, present days_

About half an hour later, Verónica decided to go back to her room to check on Carolina. Not that she was worried about Casandra's intentions; after the story that Teresa and Gloria had told her the night before, she was finally convinced that the pseudo clairvoyant had no intention of hurting anyone. Sure, they could have made it all up, but it wouldn't make any sense at all. And then, how do you improvise such a story, being so meticulous and precise in the details? Faced with the absurd reality of the situation, Verónica had been kind of forced to accept it.

This did not change the fact that she was still worried about Carolina's health conditions. After all she had been through without anyone noticing anything, Verónica assumed that she was probably feeling like a wretch right now. Maybe there was something she could do to help her, such as bringing her some food, medicines... but the truth was that it wasn’t just about that. To be completely honest, Verónica also needed to talk to Casandra. In hindsight she could understand why she had been sort of kidnapped from the ship. If she had stayed there, she probably would have alerted Fernando, Carmen, Ayala, and now Carolina, Casandra and everyone else would have been in trouble. Of course the fact that she and "Diana" had disappeared must have caused quite a stir and concern on the ship anyway, but at least no one had any idea where to look for them and Casandra's involvement in the plan had remained unknown to all. However, despite everything, Verónica still needed to get to Mexico.

Well, on a purely theoretical level, she could also have stayed in Venezuela. Ever since her mother had died, she had nowhere to stay anymore and she had had to adapt to accepting all kinds of jobs in order to make a living. As much as she had felt like she needed to get some space from the Villanueva family, especially considering that Fernando and Carolina had no qualms about shouting from the rooftops that her mother was a murderer, as they didn't care in the slightest about the consequences it could have had on her, it still had been like a trauma to her. She used to say that she hated the thought of a life spent serving rich people and complying with each of their requests, but the truth was, that was the only life she knew. Starting over had been tough, and it still was. Which meant that, given that she had to start over and finally find her place in the world, it probably wouldn't have made any difference if she were to do it in Mexico or Venezuela.

However, Verónica still felt like she had to leave. Dimas was waiting for her, they had made a promise to each other. Although their relationship had not yet been clearly and concisely defined, Verónica loved him deeply. She knew she did. And she knew he loved her too. He'd proved it to her so many times in the two years they'd spent together in Rio; without his support, processing her mother's death would probably have been infinitely more difficult and painful.

The thing was, at the moment Verónica didn't have the means to reach him. She had no money with her and she didn't even know when the first available ship for Veracruz was leaving. If it hadn't been for the fact that Casandra had previously arranged for the owner of the boarding house to bring some new clothes for Carolina, which Verónica had ended up wearing given that she had no alternative, she still would have had to wear her maid uniform. That was why she needed to speak with Casandra as soon as possible.

That morning she had been so worried about Carolina that Verónica hadn’t really felt like it was the appropriate time to ask her, but the fact was that she had to do something about her situation. The closest port was that of La Guaira, the coastal small town where they had landed aboard their lifeboat. Of course, given their illegal status they had certainly not been able to dock at the port, which is why they had reached an isolated beach. Then, not far from there, they had found a man waiting for them, who had actually driven them straight to their destination. Luckily the drive had been quite short, about half an hour. The problem was that Verónica was not self-sufficient, of course, and she had neither the means to get to the port nor the money to buy a ticket to Mexico.

If Casandra couldn't help her, then Verónica had no idea what she would do. Teresa had explained that they had paid in advance for their stay at the boarding house, where they would be provided with two rooms and two meals a day (of course, the food was certainly not high quality, but it was still better than nothing), so Verónica had somewhere to stay for at least a week. But what was going to happen afterwards? And yes, it wasn't Casandra's fault if she had been in the wrong place at the wrong time, but it was she and her gang who had brought her there anyway. Verónica was hoping that she would have some money with her and that she could find a way for her to leave; otherwise, she would be in deep trouble. Anyway, the recently discovered human side of Casandra was giving her some hope in that regard (that was also part of the reason why Verónica wanted to firmly believe in her good intentions), in addition to the fact that she seemed to be particularly attached to Carolina. And Carolina supposedly cared for her. So maybe she would help her, at least to make Carolina happy... right?

Well, Verónica hadn't really been that close to her in the last two years, but it was understandable, given her situation. Carolina had still offered to help and support her in any way possible, perhaps to allay her guilt about her mother's death. And then, Verónica had also helped (without really knowing it) Carolina during her days of captivity in Carmen's cabin. She had been by her side, she had talked to her and had always helped her as much as possible. And after the way the Fábregas family had treated her mother's memory, to say that they owed her one was a giant understatement.

Yes, indeed they all seemed pretty convincing reasons. Well, if Casandra didn't have any money with her she probably couldn't do much for her anyway, but considering the fact that she was planning a long journey to reach her relatives in France, she had to have at least something. Clinging to this faint hope, Verónica knocked on Carolina's bedroom door. Of course she was going to inquire about her health first, introducing the "hey, how do I get back to Mexico now?" topic in the conversation only afterwards, in a way that could make it seem very nonchalant.

Fortunately she did not have to wait long: Casandra's voice replied to her from the other side, in a rather subdued tone of voice: -Who's there?

\- It's Verónica. May I come in? I came to see how Carolina is doing.

After a few seconds, Casandra replied: -Of course, come in.

And so, she opened the door. The scene unfolding before her eyes left her decidedly perplexed: Carolina was lying on a folding cot placed not far from the window, apparently she was sleeping. Not far from there, the large double bed was completely empty, except for the sheets on it, of course. And Casandra, instead of sitting on the chair as Verónica had done before, was sitting on the floor right next to the cot, with her back against the wall and her knees close to her chest. What was going on?

-What are you doing on the floor? - she asked Casandra in a low voice, unable to restrain her curiosity. The floor didn't even look overly clean, on top of that.

Casandra shrugged.

-Carolina asked me to stay with her, I don't want her to feel alone, - she replied, continuing to whisper.

The woman's face was colored with a faint red color, evidently embarrassed by that sweet confession. Verónica frowned, slightly confused.

-And why is she sleeping on a cot?

-I don't know, she told me she doesn't want to stay in a bed... I think it reminds her of the ship cabin and Carmen, but I'm not sure, - Casandra explained.

It actually made sense, Verónica agreed to herself. Carolina had been forced to stay in bed for practically the whole voyage, after all; that cot certainly seemed uncomfortable, but as long as she was fine with it...

-Yeah, I get it… - Verónica approached Carolina with uncertainty. Keeping in mind the real purpose of their interaction, she reluctantly decided to sit on the floor next to Casandra and attempt to strike up a conversation with her. The woman actually looked rather tired and worn out, and above all, she seemed very pensive. Maybe she would appreciate someone to share her thoughts with, Verónica thought to herself. If listening to her could help her secure a passage to Mexico, the young woman wouldn't hesitate a second to do so.

-How is she feeling?-she finally asked, observing the eldest of the Villanueva sister. -Is she sleeping?

Carolina was lying on her side with her back facing the two of them, but when Verónica had entered a few moments earlier she had clearly seen that her eyes were closed.

-I don't know, I think so, - Casandra replied, -she was very tired. She didn't tell me much, just that she had a headache. She asked me for some water and I brought it to her, but she didn't drink it, and she didn't want to eat either. I hope she's doing well.

Verónica nodded, realizing that it was something quite similar to the situation she had found herself living with Carolina shortly before Casandra had arrived. The latter's voice, however, revealed sincere concern about Carolina's condition. -Yes, she told me as well she had a headache, I brought her some water too and at least she drank a little...

Casandra nodded.

-Did she say anything else? -Verónica then asked. -I guess you haven't told her anything about Diana, Ayala and everything else yet...

-No, - Casandra confirmed, -as I said she was very tired, so I decided against it. I think I'll talk to her as soon as she gets better and I'll explain everything. - Then, after a short pause, the woman added: -I just hope she doesn't hate me.

-Hate you? Why would she hate you, Casandra?- Verónica asked. She was honestly dumbfounded. -You saved her life, if you hadn't been there she would have risked dying, no one could imagine Carmen and Diana's plan.

-I know, but— Casandra's voice was rather shaken and weak. -I don't know, I hurt her a lot in the past, I've made so many mistakes. I would understand it if she couldn't forgive me, if she was still angry at me.

Verónica looked at Casandra and thought she was looking completely vulnerable, and also very shaken. It seemed almost impossible to her that it was the same person who had unscrupulously spread panic aboard the Bárbara de Braganza years before, even going so far as to kidnap Carolina.

-Well, it was a long time ago, right? Maybe Carolina has moved on and is no longer angry at you. Besides, after everything you've done for her, you earned her forgiveness.

Casandra sighed. -I don't know if it is that simple, but I hope so.

After a momentary hesitation, Verónica added: - You really care about her, don't you?

Casandra gave her a slightly perplexed look, probably wondering why she was interested in her relationship with Carolina. In fact, it was certainly none of her business, but Verónica had to admit that the topic partly intrigued her, so she hastened to clarify: -I mean, when you got on the ship and started to spread around rumors about ghost, did you actually get attached to Carolina?

\- Yes, - Casandra replied, - of course I did, why would I have done all this if I hadn't?

-Yes, of course- Verónica agreed, not wanting to contradict her, -it's just that I thought you had become her friend just to scare her and avenge your sister, I had no idea you really did care about her. That's why I didn't expect you to be there to help her when I saw you yesterday, that's it. But then I changed my mind.

-That's legit, - Casandra admitted. -Does it show that much?

-A little, - Verónica replied. Casandra's concern for Carolina would have been obvious to anyone who could see her in that moment. -It's obvious that you're worried about her, that you care. I'm sure Carolina will appreciate it too.

-I don't know, I hope so, - Casandra answered hesitantly, continuing to look at Carolina. Then, after a brief pause, the woman added: -You know, when I first got on Fernando’s ship I never thought I'd find someone like Carolina. I was only thinking about my sister, I wanted to avenge her, I thought it was the right thing to do. I don't know what I was hoping to achieve with all those lies, but I had no choice. I had tried everything, but the police wouldn't listen to me, no one believed my family and the authorities did everything in their power to cover up Rosa's case and silence us. I felt so much anger, hatred and resentment within me, to the point that I didn't care about the passengers on the ship or the things I had to do to get what I wanted. And then I met Carolina and... I don't know, everything changed. I know it sounds like a cliché, but it really did. Spending time with her made me feel happy, light-hearted... alive. And I hadn't felt like that in a really long time. It was as if she had opened my eyes and made me realize that there's so much more to life than what I could see. But unfortunately it was too late when I understood it. I wanted to tell her the truth about me as soon as I realized I was feeling something for her, but I didn't know how to tell her and it was too late, she trusted me and I didn't want to let her down... and so I ruined everything. I would love to go back and fix everything, let go of my stupid revenge and have a fresh start... but I can't.

Then, Casandra suddenly turned to Verónica, as if she had temporarily forgotten she was in the room and had only just remembered it in that moment: -I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm telling you about this, you probably don't even care...

But Verónica still hadn't processed the part of the story in which Casandra had admitted that she had feelings for Carolina. Okay, she definitely hadn't realized that. Of course, the way Casandra had held her close the night before on the lifeboat, the way she had gently caressed her and whispered sweet words to her had undoubtedly raised suspicions... but it would have been ridiculous after all, Carolina was married; as a result, Verónica had immediately discarded that option, assuming that she had simply misread the whole thing. And yet, apparently, this was not the case. Jesus. If her mother had known about it, she probably would have had a heart attack. She could basically almost hear her, “Two women in love with each other? Inconceivable! God created both men and women for a reason, it is the only form of marriage that exists." Fortunately, Verónica was a bit more open-minded than that... which did not imply that the news hadn't shocked her.

-Wait, do you have feelings for Carolina?

Her voice must have betrayed her bewilderment, since a terrified expression was painted on Casandra's face. Only then did the black-haired woman probably realize what she had just admitted, almost as if she had let herself go into a stream of consciousness that she was now bitterly regretting. Not that Verónica was judging her or anything, really. Luckily she wasn't like her mother... Of course, the fact that Carolina was married made the whole thing even more problematic, but it was also true that you can't really help how you feel. If Casandra had fallen in love with Carolina, she surely couldn't do anything about it, and considering that Verónica's future depended entirely on that woman's will, Verónica would be the last person on Earth to make her feel guilty about what she was feeling.

\- I mean, it's not like there is anything wrong with it- she hastened to point out immediately. -I'm not judging you of course, I have nothing against... -, then she stopped, leaving the sentence in midair, uncertain of how to define Casandra in such a way that would not make her feel offended or judged or intimidated in any way. She then decided to interrupt the sentence to reiterate, playing it safe: -I mean, I don't have a problem with it, really, I was just surprised simply because I had no idea.

-Really? - Casandra asked, as if to test the sincerity of her words.

-Yes, sure, certainly, - Verónica reiterated with conviction. Not that it wasn't true, anyway. Of course, if she was to be honest the thought of two women or two men kissing made her feel a bit uncomfortable, and there was a part of her brain that was inevitably trying to convince her that there was indeed something wrong with it. But another part of herself was aware of the fact that certain things could not be controlled, and that in all probability Casandra herself would not have wanted to develop feelings for Carolina, if she could have chosen. So, after all, Verónica certainly couldn't judge her, nor was she in a position to talk about morals.

-You know, this is the first time I've said this out loud to someone. I've never talked about it before... I was constantly afraid of other people's reactions, of what they might think.

Verónica certainly couldn't blame her. It was not so much the fact that Carolina was a woman that bothered her the most, as much as that she already had a husband, Fernando. In fact, coming to think about it, things hadn't gone very well between them ever since they had moved to Rio, or so it seemed to her from what she had seen and heard. If Carolina had been secretly in love with Casandra the whole time, it surely would have explained why she had kept her husband at a distance for years and never forgave him. Damn. Verónica's mind was shocked for a moment by that realization, but she did her best not to show it.

-Yes, I can see why, - Verónica said. -But personally I don't think there’s anything to feel ashamed of. We can't choose who we love, can we?

If she could, she would have fallen in love with Sebastián back then and now she probably would have been somewhere far, far away from there.

-No, we can't, - Casandra confirmed. Then, after a short pause, the woman gave her a sincere smile and said: -Thank you. It was nice to finally say it to someone... it sort of felt good. It feels sort of more real, and not just something inside my head.

Verónica returned the smile. She really was happy to have been of help. Then, her curiosity got the better of her: -And, can I ask you if she... well, if she reciprocates?

Casandra sighed, returning her gaze to Carolina's motionless body. Then she shrugged. -I don't know, maybe, it's complicated... when we were on the Bárbara de Braganza the first time we kissed, more than once. But then things ended between us before getting to Rio. We never promised each other anything or anything like that. It was a very complicated situation, Carolina is married to Fernando and I really feel horrible about coming between them, but I can't help it, like you said. And I mean, I know I've hurt her, so I would understand if she had gotten over me and moved on in the meantime.

The thought that Carolina and Casandra had kissed, like, really kissed, on the lips, as men and women usually do, was almost a shock for Verónica. She certainly hadn't seen it coming. She thought they had just talked about their feelings, maybe, but an actual kiss? Well, actually, more than one?! The very idea seemed to her like something from another planet. Once again, the girl did her best to conceal her dismay. Carolina Villanueva cheating on Fernando with another woman... the mere thought of it was absurd.

-And then, what happened when you arrived in Rio? Have you seen each other again?

Casandra shook her head. -No, never. I wanted to write to her, I really did, but I didn't do it precisely because I wanted to respect her marriage and her relationship with Fernando. Carolina knew how I felt about her anyway, I've told her more than once, so I thought that if she had wanted to, she would have gotten in touch with me herself...

In fact, it all seemed pretty legit, and it also did Casandra credit. Verónica was wrong to have misjudged her at first. -And she never wrote to you?

-Well, I thought she hadn't, but earlier while we were talking she told me that she had written me a letter a year ago. But I’ve never received it. She said she gave it to Erich, but he never mentioned anything about a letter before. So now I have no idea where we stand, I'm confused and I don't know if it means anything, really.

Verónica was speechless. Such intrigues could only be seen in novels, or at least that was what she thought before hearing that story. -Well, if she told you that she wrote to you then it's definitely a good sign, isn't it? It means that she was still thinking about you, otherwise she wouldn't have done it.

-Yes, maybe, but it's also been a long time... maybe things have changed now. - Casandra sighed. -If only I had been given a chance to reply, everything would be much different now.

-If you want my opinion, I think it's pointless to dwell on the past right now, - Verónica said, speaking her mind sincerely. – I mean, you’ve clearly proved that you really care about her. It must mean something to her too. Then again, it's also been a long time and, as you said, she might have moved on, but she's the only one that can tell you this for sure.

Casandra nodded. -Yes, I suppose you are right.

Although her past self would never have imagined doing such a thing, Verónica reached out to her and patted her lightly on the shoulder as a sign of support. Her life had pretty much turned upside down in the short span of twenty-four hours. One day you firmly believe that one person is responsible for your mother's death and the next you find yourself encouraging them and supporting their unlikely queer romance.

-Can I ask you something?- she then asked with uncertainty, as she didn't know whether the question she was about to ask exceeded the limits of that weird sort of bond they had just forged.

-Sure, - Casandra confirmed, with a friendly smile.

\- Are you still in love with her now?

Casandra sighed. It certainly wasn't an easy question to answer. -You don't have to tell me if you don't want to... - Verónica clarified, but the other woman replied:  
-No, no, that's fine. -Well, let's just say that I still have strong feelings for Carolina, despite everything we've been through. And if she were to tell me that she feels the same, I think I would do whatever it takes to keep her close to me. It's stupid, isn't it?

Verónica smiled at her. -No, it's not stupid at all, quite the opposite in fact..

And she really meant it. If Casandra had even gone so far as to risk going to jail again to save Carolina, then what she felt for her was definitely something worth fighting for, at least according to Verónica. Of course it wasn't going to be easy, given all the odds against them, but in the end it probably would be worth it.

-You are a good person, Verónica, - Casandra told her. A victorious smile appeared on Verónica's face: not that she had said anything she didn't really mean, but if in doing so she had also managed to get on her good side then maybe she would have a chance to leave and return to the person she loved. - I mean, - Casandra continued, - I think I owe you an apology.

-It's not necessary, - Verónica said, forcing herself a little. Sure, after all she'd been through because of her (indirectly) it actually kind of was, but she certainly wasn't going to say this to her face. Not in a straightforward way, at least.

\- Yes, it is. I... I'm sorry about what happened to your mother. She didn't deserve it, I really mean it. I had no idea that Rosa had tried to kill her and that it was just self-defense. If I have to be completely honest, it wasn't even that unlikely, knowing what my sister was like I might as well have considered it... But, you know, deep down I was so sure Fernando had done it, that he wanted to get rid of her just because she would have been a threat to his marriage, that nothing could have changed my mind. And I was wrong. She didn't deserve what happened to her. The truth is, I never meant to hurt anyone. I just needed to get closure, to know what had happened to my sister, in order to finally be able to move forward. I never once stopped to think about all the people who would pay the consequences of my obstinacy. And I'm really sorry for that.

Verónica looked at her speechless. No one else had ever offered her such a sincere apology, not even Carolina and the Fábregas family. And she appreciated it, she really did appreciate it very much.

-Thank you for telling me all this, really. You're right, you’ve made a lot of mistakes, but my mother had her faults too... she should have reported to the police and explained what had happened, but she didn't do it so as not to ruin Carolina and Fernando's relationship. And the most ironic thing is that if she had done it back then, maybe they could have fixed things and they would have gotten married anyway. I am sure that Carolina would have forgiven him one way or another. Instead, this secret came back to haunt them years later, and look where they are now. In the end, she too was wrong to make your family suffer for years, even though she knew everything and had the answers you wanted.

Sometimes fate could be really cruel, Verónica found herself thinking to herself. Perhaps the fact that Carolina was now feeling something (maybe? Possibly?) for another woman and no longer wanted her husband was its way of punishing her mother for what she had done and for not allowing Casandra's family to get closure for two whole years. A really original and well-thought-out way of pissing her off.

-Wait, what do you mean by "where they are now"?- Casandra finally asked, frowning. Right, of course she didn't know about Carolina and Fernando. Was she supposed to tell her? Verónica wasn't sure. Carolina herself was probably going to do it anyway, a few hours later... and yeah, it was certainly not her place to meddle in their sentimental matters, but Casandra was really looking like a restless soul at that moment. Maybe knowing that things weren't going that well between them would give her some relief, as well as hope. So, she was finally convinced:

-Don't tell her that I told you, but as far as I've heard, which is actually not that much, she and Fernando are pretty much broken-up.

-Really?- Casandra asked, making it obvious that she was actually happy to hear it. Her face lit up for a moment, as if someone had just given her really good news.

-Yes, but, as I told you, Carolina and I haven’t see each other very much in Rio or in Buenos Aires, that's just what I've heard. But anyway, even on the ship, she and Fernando didn't really seem very close to each other, or at least I wasn't under the impression they were. But still, just take this with a grain of salt, you know.

Judging by Casandra's expression, what Verónica had told her was enough to give her all the hope she needed. -Yes, of course. As soon as Carolina gets better we will finally get to talk and then we'll see, I guess.

-Yeah -, Verónica nodded. - Sure.

Then, as she realized that she had decided to start up a conversation with Casandra for a precise reason, she mustered the courage to ask: -Are you staying here with her now?

Casandra nodded. -Yes, I'll stay with her until she wakes up. Carolina has asked me to so I'm not leaving.

Verónica smiled as she noticed, once again, all the small gestures and little things through which Casandra expressed her love for her. Maybe Dimas would have done it for her too.

-You don't have to stay, though- Casandra then added. -Today is a lovely day, you could go for a walk if you want to. I think Simón and the others are planning to anyway, maybe you could join them.

-Actually,- Verónica finally said, a little hesitantly, -I think I'd like to go to the port, in La Guaira. I've been meaning to check when the next ship for Veracruz is leaving and how much the ticket costs, just to get an idea, even if I have no money to buy it at the moment... that's why I actually wanted to ask you if by chance your friend, you know, the guy that drove use here yesterday night, could give me a lift. This morning I asked around and apparently there are no buses that go there, I will have to look for a ride somehow, so I thought that since you already know someone it would be easier for me to just ask you.

\- Sure, no problem, - Casandra assured her, -later when Carolina wakes up I'll talk to the owner of the boarding house, to get in touch with your drive. Actually, you can just ask her yourself, I'm sure she won't say no. She's the one who knows the guy, I'm sure it won't be a problem for him to give you a ride when he can.

Verónica nodded. -Thank you, Casandra.

-You're welcome. And don't worry about the ticket, I'll take care of that. It's the least I can do for you, really.

At that news, Verónica felt immediately relieved. All Dimas had to do was wait for her and don't leave Veracruz, in a few weeks’ time they would finally be reunited.

-Are you sure?- she asked, as a matter of formality. - Is it going to be a problem for you?

\- Of course it won't, don't worry. We actually saved some money so we can afford it, - Casandra assured her. -My family in Spain is quite wealthy, I've never asked my parents for help before because we grew apart after my sister’s death and I didn’t want to depend on them, but when I found out that Carolina was in danger I wrote to them and I had them send us some money, just to cover expenses such as these... Besides, it's my fault that you ended up here with us, the least I can do is get you back safe and sound.

Verónica gave her another smile. She had been so worried about her future that the awareness that she wouldn't have to spend months in Caracas, working day and night to afford a third-class ticket on a ship was such an incredible relief.

-Thanks again. Well, I'll leave you then, I'll go talk to the owner.

Casandra nodded. -Sure, I’ll see you later.

Before leaving the room, however, Verónica turned to tell her one last thing: -Casandra?

-Yes?

-Don't give up on her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I'm sorry for the mini-hiatsu, I'm doing my best to update as much as possible! In this chapter Verónica learns about Carolina and Casandra's relationship. It wasn't a particoularly important moment I guess but I still wanted to describe it, both because I like to depict their relationship from other people's perspectives and because in general I like to use external povs. I hope it wasn't too OOC, I know Verónica probably wouldn't have reacted like that in normal circumstances but, as I've written, she needed to get on Casandra's good side, so... I hope you still found it interesting! I really do appreciate a lot the people who are still reading my fic and leaving comments! Thank you very much


	11. XI

Carolina's rest was intermittent and tormented. Every single time her mind relaxed as she was dozing off, suddenly the memories of the Bárbara de Braganza, Carmen and Diana came back to haunt her; for a handful of moments, it really seemed as though she was still there, stuck in a bed and unable to move. Shortly after her mind immediately returned to reality and woke her up with a start. That happened three times in the short time span Carolina spent sleeping in her room, and on each of these occasions she woke up to Casandra by her side. Carolina was in tears and shivering, but seeing Casandra's face immediately soothed her, as her arms were wrapping her in a reassuring grip.

-It's all right Carolina, it's all over, you're not there anymore, you're safe - she whispered softly.

Carolina nodded between sobs and kept crying, as she silently enjoyed the feeling of being comforted. She wasn't ready to talk about what had happened yet, she was visibly too shaken. At the moment the only thing she wanted to do was to forget everything and start from scratch, from a blank page. However, despite this, she still appreciated the comfort that Casandra was giving her and her support. It made her feel safer and, at the same time, less alone. She had already been kind enough to stay by her side all that time, since she probably had better things to do than sit on the floor and watch someone trying to sleep (and miserably failing in doing so).

And so, when she woke up terrified and decidedly poorly rested for the third time, Carolina decided that persisting in her attempt to fall asleep would be useless. She had no idea how long it had been since she'd first awakened and found herself inside that small room, but she imagined that at least a couple of hours had passed. Well, if on the one hand her mind was almost more exhausted than it had been before, on the other she was feeling her body slowly beginning to regain its strength. And she also felt very hungry. That was a good sign, wasn't it? Carolina just hoped that the owners of the boarding house would be better at cooking than at cleaning.

And speaking of cleaning, now that Carolina was slowly beginning to come back to the world of the living, to feel connected to her body and its needs again, she also felt the urgent need to take a warm and regenerating bath. The last time she had done it was four days ago, her body was sweaty and (metaphorically) falling apart. She had been lucky that Carmen had allowed her to go to the bathroom twice a day and had given her food. The possibility of taking a bath and getting back her presentable appearance at that moment seemed like the greatest luxury. Carolina was hoping that that cheap boarding house would have at least a bathtub in which to sink and soak, until all traces of sweat and exhaustion would disappear from her.

She then decided to express her intention to Casandra, once she was awake and had washed off the unpleasant feeling caused by the nightmare she had just had. Fortunately, Casandra reassured her about the presence of a bathtub inside the premises (it was not so obvious). Sure, all the guests had to share the same bathroom, Casandra explained, but nobody was probably using it now, the most problematic times were the morning and the night, before going to sleep. Then, Casandra opened the closet to take out a brown suitcase and opened it on the floor, next to the cot where Carolina was lying.

-Here, - she showed her, -I had some clothes delivered here especially for you, so that you can have something to wear. I had to give some to Verónica too, as she has nothing here but her maid uniform, so I don't know if they'll be enough for a week, but you can always get some of mine later.  
  
  
Carolina carefully observed the assortment of clothing in the suitcase: they were all light dresses, skirts and blouses, undoubtedly suitable for the high temperatures of the South American city and, at the same time, perfectly in tune with Carolina's style. Casandra's elegance and good taste hadn't changed, just like her ability to easily understand her.

Carolina thanked her for her kindness; then, after a moment of indecision, she finally pulled out a pink skirt and a white blouse. It was rather silly, Carolina knew that she didn't have anywhere to go and that no one in particular was going to see her, so the way she dressed didn't really matter to anyone. However, she was doing it for herself: despite everything she had been through she still wanted to look good and to choose her clothes carefully. It made her feel more self-confident and, at the same time, it gave her the impression of slowly taking her life back, even through little things like that.

After deciding what to wear, Carolina got up and walked to the bathroom. Casandra helped her to stand up, but after taking the first steps Carolina realized with satisfaction that she could more or less stand on her own feet. She still felt weak and a little lightheaded, but at least her legs were able to support her body and move autonomously. It was something. Little by little, the rest would come too, or so Carolina hoped.

Casandra accompanied her to the bathroom anyway, the last door on the left, given that Carolina had no idea where it was. With some relief, the young woman realized that at least there was a tub in there, and although it didn't look overly clean, it was still going to be enough. Compared to what she had been through, it looked like the bathroom of a royal palace. And so, Casandra told her that she would wait for her in her room, then she left her alone.

When she plunged into the hot tub, Carolina closed her eyes and felt as though she was reborn. She lost track of time and space and her mind was finally empty, as she enjoyed the happiness of that moment. She could have stayed like that all night, had it not been for the fact that she was hungry, and although the idea of seeing a multitude of people did not particularly appeal to her, her crave for decent food was bigger. Secondly, the water was slowly starting to cool down, which was giving her annoyance a little. So, after an indefinite period of time (which she imagined was quite long anyway), Carolina finally got out and dried up using one of the clean towels, then she got dressed. Carolina looked at herself in the mirror as she enjoyed the newly-found feeling of looking pretty and healthy. Also, she noticed that the clothes Casandra had given her were smelling like her. Carolina didn't know if she herself had worn them of if they were new, but her perfume made her feel a bit strange... but, all in all, it was not a bad feeling. It was like feeling Casandra by her side, sort of. In a way, it made her feel closer to the other woman.

Well, Carolina in that moment had no idea where she stood with her, what she was supposed to do. A part of herself had hated her for a whole year, thinking that all those things they had said to each other during their days together had just been empty words to her, while they had meant so much to Carolina... Some days she had hated her for coming into her life, making her feel special and valued and important for the first time and then taking it all away. Some days she had felt like a complete idiot for having harbored a feeling of blind trust towards her, while Casandra had probably been laughing at her naivety the whole time. However, another part of herself had never gotten over her and had continued to think about her, about all the things she had said, about the way she had always looked at her.

Carolina could not resign to the idea that it had all been fake, invented, simulated. She thought back to what Casandra had told her about her sister, to the fact that she had allowed her to see her weaknesses despite the fact that they had only known each other for days; she thought back to the connection she had felt to her that day on the ship's deck. She had replayed their kisses in her head multiple times, the feeling of Casandra's soft lips delicately placed on her own, the sweet way in which she had caressed her, the look full of fear and uncertainty she had given her. And despite everything, despite the fact that she didn't want to, a lot of times Carolina had found herself missing her, missing all that.

However, now that Casandra had told her that she had never received her letter, it was a completely different matter. Well, at least Carolina had (involuntarily) overheard the conversation she and Verónica had had while they thought she was sleeping... it was certainly not Carolina's fault that she hadn't been able to fall asleep immediately, and it's not like she had been obliged to let them know about it. Okay, maybe she had been a little happy to have the opportunity to hear what Casandra had to say about her, it had helped her get a clearer picture of their whole situation. But it had also contributed to confuse Carolina even more, as she was now having an internal crisis. She had almost come to terms with the fact that she couldn't be with Casandra, even though she was aware that it would most likely be very difficult to find someone who would make her feel the same way she felt about her. And even though she knew that it was all over with Fernando and that they had grown apart so much that it was impossible to even consider the possibility of fixing something that, in itself, had no solid foundation and perhaps had never even existed in the first place, Carolina had managed to find a sort of stability in Buenos Aires, an internal balance, much more than in Rio. Having some sort of closure with Casandra had certainly helped. Carolina had started to take more time to herself, and since her husband was a major shipowner and she had a lot of money aside, she had thought of going into the ship business herself and buying her first ship, the Roncesvalles. She had put all her efforts into obtaining permits to sail, cleaning it up, renovating it, finding clients and a crew... Basically, perhaps she couldn't be happy as a wife, but she could still be fairly satisfied with her work and her independence. And besides, even her social network had expanded considerably. She, Eva and Natalia had started going out more often and making new friends. They had been introduced to important people and had slowly begun to move up in society. Carolina could not deny that she had happy about all these improvements to her social life.

And now there was Casandra, coming into her life again out of the blue and claiming that she still had feelings for her. She had told Verónica that she had never written to her to respect the boundaries that Carolina herself had set off, which was legit. And she had said all those nice words about her, about Francisca, about their relationship... and most importantly, she had explicitly said that she still felt something for her, and that she was willing to risk everything to give their relationship a chance, if it had been mutual. Carolina had waited for her answer in an agonizing silence in that moment, with her heart pounding in her chest. When Casandra had admitted all that, her heart had skipped a beat. It was all happening so quickly and in a completely unexpected way... And now, Carolina knew they had to talk it through once and for all, but the truth was that she herself had no idea what to tell Casandra or what to do. A part of herself had hoped to hear her say those words and right now just wanted to be held in Casandra's arms and finally be able to kiss her lips, her face, and whisper to her that she felt exactly the same and that she had missed her a lot.

But another part of herself, much more realistic and down to earth, was aware that they weren't going to last for long. They were in Caracas right now, but what would happen next? Carolina had to go back to Fernando in Buenos Aires. She was married, she had obligations, responsibilities, she owned a ship... how could she ignore all this just to follow a feeling? And above all, what future could she and Casandra have? The other woman was planning to leave for France, what would they do, would they exchange letters for the rest of their lives? Carolina certainly couldn't ask her not to go just to be with her. Or rather, she could, if she had something to offer her. But seriously, what could she ever offer her? Secret meetings behind everyone's back? Having her come to her house every time her husband would be on a business trip? Casandra deserved much better. She deserved someone who could give her everything she wanted, unlike Carolina. Of course, the very idea of her being with someone else was really upsetting to Carolina, but she also knew that it would be selfish to keep her waiting for her for ever, so letting her go would be the right thing to do.

Anyway, Carolina figured that they were going to talk about it later that night, once they would be alone, and that they would come to a decision together. For the moment, she just really wanted to see her. And of course to have dinner, which is why she hurried to leave the bathroom and joined Casandra in her room. When she entered, Carolina saw that in the meantime Verónica had also returned and was now lying on the half of the bed next to the one in which Carolina had woken up. Her cot was still there, along with the sheets she had slept on. Casandra, on the other hand, was sitting on a chair, intent on reading a book.

-Hey, - Carolina said to both of them, as soon as she opened the door and entered the room. However, after a quick glance at Verónica, her gaze was mainly fixed on Casandra. The woman immediately looked up from the book she was reading to observe Carolina: her black eyes widened slightly, while her face revealed that she had been somewhat surprised by her appearance. Carolina felt herself blush: Casandra must have been impressed by the radical change in her outward appearance, from a half-dead zombie to a well-groomed person. After all, Carolina couldn't blame her, she probably would have scared even herself if she could have looked in the mirror earlier. Carolina smiled shyly. It was always nice to feel appreciated - especially if the compliments came from Casandra.

-Hello, - the latter finally greeted her. Carolina wanted to reply, but Verónica broke into the conversation:

-Hello Carolina. How are you feeling? Did you get better?

Carolina nodded. -Yes, thanks, I'm a little better. I'm just hungry now.

-That's a good sign, I think, - Verónica replied with a small laugh, -dinner is about to be ready anyway.

-Yes, that's right, we were waiting for you, - Casandra said; during her exchanges with Verónica, she hadn't taken her eyes off her even for a moment. -If you're ready we can join the others to help out.

Carolina nodded. -Sure, let's go.

And so, they headed for the kitchen. When Carolina met the rest of Casandra's friends, her first impression was rather negative. She remembered very well the time when Erich and Simón had entered her cabin and kidnapped her, then locked her up in a trunk. She knew that Casandra had had very little to do with that operation, and that she had sort of found herself involved in that improvised plan despite not wanting to. Carolina had mostly blamed the two men for that; after Casandra's arrival, they had done everything to brainwash her and had taken advantage of her fragile and confused mental state to try to convince her of Carolina's guilt, something in which Casandra had never believed. Of course Carolina knew it, to the point of practically being certain of it and even risking her life to prove it. Now that she knew that Erich could possibly be the cause of her forced separation from Casandra, Carolina had another valid reason to despise him. However, she still tried her best not to display her feelings too openly, even if with poor results (or at least she figured). The greetings were a bit embarrassing, but fortunately the kitchen was quite lively and the atmosphere of turmoil helped to dispel the discomfort. In addition to them, four other guests were staying in the boarding house: three men and a woman.

The food wasn't much, but it all tasted very good to Carolina anyway, even if at the end of the dinner she was still feeling a bit hungry. She told herself that it was still better than what she had had in the last three days and that it had to be enough, at least for today. She was lucky she could eat at all. The conversations were mostly about general topics, and Carolina remained silent while sitting next to Verónica for the majority of the time, exchanging only a few words of circumstance with the latter when necessary. The only time she actively participated was when the arrangement of the rooms was decided: according to what she had discovered, the group had arranged to let her and Verónica sleep in the room with the double bed (she had been convinced that she had slept next to Casandra the night before, for some reason), while Casandra, Erich and Simon had been sleeping on cots in the other room booked by the group, which had two single beds occupied by Gloria and Teresa. The thing was that Carolina didn't want to sleep in a bed, right now it was the last thing she wanted. She had realized that the cot was quite uncomfortable, sure, and in fact her back had felt a little sore after she had woken up, but the very idea of sleeping in a bed made her feel sort of suffocated. She knew that sooner or later she would have to overcome her fear, but for the moment she preferred it that way.

And so, according to the new arrangement, the double bed was going to go to Gloria and Teresa, and Erich would sleep there on a cot. Simon and Verónica would take the two single beds in the other room, where Carolina and Casandra would also sleep on the other two cots. Carolina asked Casandra if she was sure, since she figured she would prefer a bed instead, a much more comfortable option, but Casandra confirmed her choice, as she explained that it didn't really matter to her.  
After dinner, everyone went separate ways. Verónica, Erich and the rest of the guests returned to their respective rooms, Gloria and Teresa decided to stay in the kitchen to help out with the dishes, while Simon went for a walk around the block, having promised his mother to be careful and not to come home too late. Carolina and Casandra were then left alone, unsure of what to do. They too got up from the table, to allow the others to clear it, but at the same time they didn't go too far, as they remained inside the kitchen. Once they were sure nobody could hear them, Carolina mustered up the courage to finally ask Casandra: -Would you like to go out and get some air?

Casandra smiled at her. -Sure, I'd love to.

And so, the two left the room and found themselves in the small courtyard in front of the building, from which it was possible to see the window of Carolina's room (or at least the old one, she still didn't know if the new one had the same view). As she saw a bench not far away from where they were standing, Carolina pointed to it and asked: -Do you want to sit down?

At Casandra's affirmative answer, the two women finally took a seat. And so, they were finally going to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I apologize for the delay. I'm doing my best to update as regularly as I can, thank you to everyone who's still reading the story!


	12. XII

It was a such lovely night, Casandra found herself thinking. A gentle, light breeze was blowing in the courtyard, and a beautiful half moon was shining with silver light in the sky. As Casandra was looking at Carolina she thought that, if possible, she looked almost prettier without any makeup and wearing relatively basic clothes than when she had seen her attend fancy dinners on the Bárbara de Braganza alongside Fernando, in elegant evening dresses. Not that she didn't like the other version of Carolina, obviously, but the lack of makeup highlighted even more the natural beauty of her face, at least according to Casandra. In that moment, all she really wanted to do was just kiss her and hold her in her arms, and just forget about everything else. However, Casandra was well aware that she couldn't do it. First of all, she didn't even know if Carolina wanted it in the first place, and even if she did, there were so many things that needed to be discussed. To begin with, Casandra didn't want to hide anything from her anymore, no matter what was going to happen afterwards: she was going to tell her everything, with no omissions. Carolina was probably not going to appreciate some details, but it was better to clear things up immediately than to keep them secret and having to worry for the rest of her life that they might somehow come back to haunt her, just like it had happened to Francisca. The thing was that so much had happened from the moment they had said goodbye to each other two years before, that Casandra had absolutely no idea where to begin her story. From the time she spent in jail? From Diana? From Ayala? So, not knowing where or how to start, Casandra ended up making the most obvious choice: small talk.  
  
More specifically: -It's such a lovely night, isn't it?  
  
Carolina smiled and nodded. She probably must have been feeling the same, Casandra thought to herself. It wasn't easy to find a meeting point, somewhere to begin again, after all that time.  
  


-Yes, it's nice.

Then, after a brief, uncomfortable silence that lasted a few seconds, in which Casandra continued to debate internally the most appropriate way to start the conversation, Carolina spoke again: -You know, my favorite character in the Iliad was also Hector.

\- What?- Casandra asked, not sure she had understood correctly.

-The Iliad, earlier today you told me that Hector was your favorite character. He is also my favourite.

Yes, she had actually mentioned it, coming to think about it. But it had been such a small and insignificant detail in their conversation that Casandra had practically erased it from her memory. But for some reason, apparently Carolina had remembered it. In a way, Casandra kind of appreciated it; it meant that she cared about what she said and that she paid attention to all that little things about her.

-Yes, right, - Casandra replied. -So he is your favourite character, really?

-Yes. Do you want to know why?

Casandra replied with an assent, implicitly inviting Carolina to go on with her explanation. And so she did: -Because I really like the farewell between Hector and Andromache. He is about to go into battle against Achilles, he knows he probably won't make it, that he is going to die, yet when his wife asks him to stay with her and with his son he refuses. He says that it is his duty to go and fight for the city, for his father. He says that he is a warrior and that there are no other options for him. And then, before leaving, he takes off his helmet to say goodbye to his son and hold him one last time. It's such a moving and heartfelt passage, it shows all the courage and humanity of his character.

Casandra nodded. She completely agreed. She still remembered how touched she had been when her father had first read it to her, the sadness she had felt.

-You know, - Carolina continued after a short pause, -somehow, I've always related to him. Trapped in a role, forced to fulfill all the duties that were imposed on me. And you know, it didn't even use to bother me that much, I was doing it more than willingly... just like Hector. That was just normal to me. Then you came into my life and things started to change.

-Carolina...

Casandra hesitantly moved a few inches towards her, silently grabbing Carolina's hand. Carolina let her, she didn't withdraw nor showed signs of being uncomfortable with that.

-Everything used to be so simple before I met you - she finally said, looking Casandra straight in the eyes. There was no trace of anger or resentment in her gaze, only of confusion.

-And now?- Casandra asked.  
  
  
-Now feel like I don't know anything anymore. After you didn't reply to the letter I had sent you, I thought I had found the answers I was looking for, more or less. I thought I was gradually starting over. But now it's different. You are here now and I...

-And you?- Casandra hopefully encouraged her, as Carolina seemed to be hesitating. Without realizing it she came closer to the other woman, as she looked at her intensely while waiting to hear the rest of the sentence. Carolina lowered her gaze to the floor for a moment.

-I don't know, now I'm so confused.

-Confused about what?- Casandra asked again, holding her breath while waiting for the answer.

-About me, about you, about us, about the future...

Casandra sighed. Her heart was beating so fast inside her chest that she was seriously afraid it would explode.

-It is normal for you to feel this way right now, I think. I'd like to talk about it too, but first I think I should tell you about what happened on the ship and the people that kidnapped you. Do you want to know? I guess you will have a lot of questions.

Carolina nodded. -Yes, tell me everything you know, please. Who are Carmen and Diana? And did they want to kill me?

Casandra swallowed. She had to tell her. She just hoped that Carolina wouldn't be mad at her afterwards. -It's a long story. But first, I want you to keep in mind that I've always wanted to protect you. I have never meant to hurt you in any way.

Carolina frowned. That introduction had probably just worried her even more. -Right... should I be worried?

-No, of course not- Casandra tried to reassure her with a smile. -I just wanted to make that clear because I guess you will be a little surprised to discover that Diana and I have actually known each other for a long time.

-Did you know about Diana?! - Carolina asked, with wide eyes. Here, exactly the reaction that Casandra had imagined. -How did you meet her? Did you tell her about me, about Fernando and my family?

-No, I never told her anything about you, and I never had anything to do with her and Carmen's actions, I swear to you.

After a moment of silence, Carolina finally said: -Fine, I believe you. But you have to tell me everything about her. Who is she, how did you meet? How can she look like me? Is she... - Carolina froze for a moment, unsure of how to continue the sentence. -Is she my sister?

-Yes, she's your twin sister. We met right after I got to Rio, in jail. She had already spent three years there though. She had been sentenced to twenty years for killing a man, even though she told me it was self-defense. She would have had to stay there for another fifteen years if Dr. Ayala hadn't showed up. When I first asked her about her family, she told me she didn't have one, that she had been abandoned. She told me that she had grown up in Rio, where she had lived with the owner of an inn... but the living conditions weren't good, he often beat her and didn't give her much to eat, so she ran away as soon as she could and went living on the street. She was forced to steal to get by and she ended up in prison more than once. Then, when she got a little older, since she didn't have many alternatives, she found a job in a brothel and started working there.

-Oh God... - Carolina uttered, sincerely shocked by what Casandra was telling her. Of course, given the standard of living they were accustomed to and the kind of childhood they had had, Casandra could understand that it had to be a shock for Carolina to learn of such disadvantaged and distant social realities, especially given how sensitive she was... Casandra had felt like that herself.

-I know. She told me that they all lived in extreme poverty there, there was very little hygiene and diseases spread easily, but at least she had a place to sleep. And prostitutes were not protected in the least, customers were often violent and beat them. Diana told me that it was actually the reason why she was in jail, she had been beaten by a drunk man one night, and when she tried to defend herself he pulled out a gun. If he hadn't missed her and she hadn't taken advantage of that to take the gun, he probably would have killed her.

-And so she killed him instead? - Carolina asked. Casandra nodded.

-Yes, she shot him and he died... and she was obviously found guilty, the man's family was rather rich, it's a miracle she didn't get a life sentence.

Carolina swallowed. -That's absurd. So you've met her in jail?

-Yes, - Casandra confirmed, -exactly, and she told me all this.

-It's not like I don't want to believe you, but didn't you ask yourself how could she possibly look like me? Did you... did you mistake her for me initially, or did you at least ask her if she knew who I was?

Casandra shook her head. - I didn't. From the moment I saw her, I knew she wasn't you, Carolina.

-But how could you have been so sure?

-Well, first of all because you were with Fernando, so you factually couldn't be in prison.

Carolina sighed. -That's true... but I still would have had doubts, at least at first.

Casandra smiled. -Well, it wasn't just that, actually. There was something in her eyes, something that made me realize right away that it couldn't be you.

-Really? What was that? - Carolina asked curiously.

-Well, they were different from yours because... I don't know, I don't know how to explain it and it will surely seem stupid, but it's like there's a light in them. And it never went away, even when I saw you disheartened, tired, angry or terrified, in spite of everything that light was still there, inside you. And I think that's one of the things that make you special. No matter what happens, you always have trust in life and in others. And you never give up on people, you always see the good in them and do your best to bring it out... even when it's hidden or the person is just not worth it. Her eyes though, they were something else entirely. I remember I looked into them and I didn't see anything, not even a hint of emotion, of feelings. They were completely empty. It was like she was dead inside, it almost scared me. And in that moment I realized she wasn't you, Carolina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the new chapter! Their confrontation obviously isn't finished, it will continue. I did my best to make Diana's backstory coherent with the few things we have discovered about her in season three, aka that she had been abused, injuried and that she had been sentenced to more than fifteen years of jail. When they asked her about her identity she only said she was "nobody" so I thought it made sense for her not to have any family or friends. I hope you liked the chapter, thanks for reading!


	13. XIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Here I am with the new update! The end is getting closer, this chapter is set on the ship, where I left Natalia, Fernando, Diana and the others. Before getting on with Carolina and Casandra's reunion I wanted to end the whole Diana's backstory because I wanted to fix the writers' job and give a decent explanation of Diana's identity. Also, I enjoy writing Natalia's pov hahaha

It had taken Natalia several minutes to convince the officer to take her to Héctor on the deck, but in the end she succeeded. She had emphasized very convincingly the fact that it would only take a minute, and that if he did not agree to see her she would accept it without protesting and immediately return to her cabin, without causing any trouble. And so the poor officer was finally convinced. Not that Natalia was lying, if Héctor decided to dismiss her she would actually accept it, what else was there to do after all? But in the end it was definitely worth a try, or so she thought. Besides, Natalia had the feeling that Héctor was going to allow her to talk to him. Well, perhaps she was wrong, perhaps their brief relationship had been driven solely by his desire to manipulate her into persuading Fernando to name him captain. Despite this, Natalia still had the feeling that at least a part of all that had been real, albeit brief. Besides, it wasn't like Natalia was going to ask him for much. She just needed to talk to one specific person, she didn't even need that much time.

When she reached the deck, the officer motioned for the ship's captain to come closer, as he preferred to stay back along with Natalia. After a moment of confusion, Héctor finally accepted the invitation and walked over to the two.

-Hm? What is it?- the man asked, apparently puzzled by the presence of the ship owner.

\- I'm sorry captain, - the officer began, - she insisted so much on talking to you, she said it was urgent, if you're busy I'll get her back to her room in no time...

-It's fine - Héctor interrupted him. A satisfied smile appeared on Natalia's lips: she was still good at reading people. -What do you want?

\- Can we talk? Just the two of us.

Héctor sighed, then nodded to his subordinate so as to make him leave.

-I'll be there if you need me, - he announced, moving away momentarily from the two.

-Tell me, - Héctor finally ordered, in a slightly impatient tone. Natalia had to refrain herself from snorting. If it hadn't been for her and her brother, that subspecies of man could only have dreamed of holding such a post in such a ship. Well, if it hadn't been for her and her naivety...

-I need a favor. I need to speak to someone on this ship, alone. It will only be a matter of minutes, and you can have one of your trained monkeys outside the cabin to guard me if it makes you happy.

Héctor sighed, hinting at a sarcastic smile. - Why?

-It's important. There's something I need to know and he's the only one that can answer me. It won't take much.

Natalia had the feeling that this feeble explanation would not be enough to appease his curiosity, even though it was the truth. And she was right.

-And who would this person be? And what is it you have to ask him?

-Pedro Villanueva. His brother was in business with my late husband, Aníbal, and there is a question I would like to bring to him about an old investment they had made. If you're actually going to divert the course of this ship, my family will lose a lot of money, and I will need to find a way to recover it.

Natalia sighed. She hoped her tone had been convincing enough and that the excuse she had just made up was decently believable. After all, lying was her specialty. Of course, she could also have told him the truth about Carolina's strange behavior and voiced her own suspicions... but, for some reason, the woman decided it would be better if no one else knew, at least for the moment. She didn't want to create panic among the crew and, more importantly, she first needed to establish whether Carolina's weirdness and her absurd theory were something she could use to her advantage or not. Then, only later would she decide what to do with that information and what the most appropriate way of dealing with that was.

-And why should I let you talk to him?- Héctor asked presumptuously. This time Natalia really had to try hard to keep herself from rolling her eyes. God, sometimes men could be so incredibly stupid and arrogant. Héctor might as well enjoy playing the role of the ship captain right now, but once they would reach the nearest port, he was definitely going to get what he deserved for taking over the ship. It was precisely this what Natalia decided to use as a lever, to achieve her own goal:

-Because whether you like it or not, I'll talk to Pedro anyway, when we get off the ship. It's a matter of days. If you let me do it now, though, when we get to Veracruz I'll help you. You and your companions will have so many things to answer to the authorities, but I can protect you, I might go against my brother and say that I have ordered the crew to change the course. Your name would come out clean. What I'm asking for is just a little chat that will last no more than fifteen minutes.

Héctor sighed. Of course Natalia was shamelessly lying, and he must have guessed it.

-Do you really expect me to believe you? These are just words.

-They might be. Maybe I'm lying and as soon as we land I'll do everything in my power to have you thrown in jail. But in the worst case scenario you will have simply given a poor prisoner fifteen minutes of air. But if I'm telling the truth, even partially, you're missing the opportunity to save yourself. So what brings you more advantages? I know you're not stupid and you can certainly realize this for yourself.

Actually, Natalia had not yet decided what she was going to do. Sure, she certainly wouldn't bother to defend him, but maybe, if he granted her that little favor, she might as well put in a good word for him once they got to Mexico, so that he could get his sentence slightly reduced. After all, in some strange way Natalia appreciated his manipulative and planning skills. She was actually curious to ask him why he hated her family to the point of doing all that and risking so much... was it simply a matter of solidarity with Pierre, or was there something else?

\- You're the one who's stupid if you seriously think that I haven't already made arrangements about what's going to happen after we land.

Arrangements? So Héctor wasn't doing all that on his own, was there someone else protecting him? Anyone outside the ship, or maybe someone undercover among the passengers? Perhaps he had found an accomplice in advance to help him deal with the consequences of his rebellion, but Natalia also took into consideration the hypothesis that maybe he was actually acting on behalf of someone else, someone who had exploited Pierre's hate towards her to get what they wanted and was actually driven by a motivation that had nothing to do with Clara. No matter how stubborn Pierre might be, Natalia knew that he had neither the knowledge nor the skills to orchestrate a plan like that one. Now that she knew that there was a rather influential person on the outside that was going to protect them, that hypothesis was becoming more and more concrete... yes, but who could it be? Well, the Fábregas family was quite famous, there could be many people who would benefit from their downfall, which made the mission to identify the person behind all that even harder... assuming that there was one in the first place, and it wasn't really just a way to avenge Clara.

-Anyway, - Héctor continued, - you know what, I don't care. Do what you want, if it so important to you then go talk to Mr. Villanueva. There is nothing you can do anyway, the ship is in our hands and a conversation with an old man certainly won't change anything. Just make sure it doesn't take too long, okay?  
Natalia nodded.

-Thank you.  
  
  
And so, Héctor motioned to the officer who had accompanied her to take her to Pedro Villanueva's cabin. Ten minutes later, the woman was knocking on his door. When the elderly gentleman opened it, the astonishment on his face caused by Natalia's presence was evident.

-Miss Fábregas... what are you doing here?- Pedro asked, definitely bewildered.

-I need to talk to you, it won't take long. May I come in?

After a moment's hesitation, in which the man looked thoughtfully at the officer who was accompanying Natalia first, and then at Natalia herself, in the end he replied:

-Yes, of course, come in.

Natalia forced herself to smile. -Thank you.

And so, she finally walked in and closed the door behind her.

-How are my nieces? I'm not going to deny that I am very worried about what is happening... what does it mean that they all fell ill and they can't come into contact with anyone? This story doesn't make any sense.

Natalia sighed, somewhat amused. -Is this what they told you?

What a poor excuse, Héctor had definitely disappointed her.

-Yes, why? Is it true?

-Yes, it's true, -Natalia replied, as she thought it was best not to alarm the old man unnecessarily. At least not before she got what she had come for. -Unfortunately Eva, Carolina and Fernando cannot see anyone, I'm actually feeling well so I was able to go out, but I prefer to stay with them to assist them. But don't worry, in a couple of days they'll be fine again.

-How can you tell me not to worry? What's wrong with them? What disease is it? And how do they feel?

-The ship's doctor is constantly checking on them, but it's not easy to understand what exactly is the problem, especially since we don't have access to medical facilities. As soon as we have a clearer picture you will be the first to know, but for the moment it’s best if they remain isolated, with all due respect but you are not as young as them, if you were infected it could have serious consequences.

Pedro sighed. -I suppose you have a point. Thanks for dropping by to inform me, tell my nieces that if they need anything they'll find me here. Good heavens, just what we needed, this ship seems to be cursed!

Natalia frowned. What did he mean by _that_? What else was going on, all while she was stuck in her spiritual retreat from the world?

-What do you mean? Did something else happen?

-Well, you must have heard about Verónica and Diana, right?

Verónica? As if Natalia could know who on the face on Earth could those Verónica and Diana be. She knew at least a dozen people named like that.

-It's just that I have been so busy taking care of my brother these days that I am a bit estranged from the outside world right now... What happened to Verónica and Diana?

-Well, Verónica was the maid who was assigned to Carmen's room and her daughter Diana, I'm sure you've noticed her too, the girl with the bandaged face, in the wheelchair?

Ah, that one... Of course Natalia remembered her, she kind of freaked her out the first time they had met. It was certainly something that wasn't easy to forget.

-Yes, sure. What happened?

-You see, last night during the masquerade party, Verónica stayed with Diana in her cabin to keep her company. Carmen had gone to the party with everyone else, but when she got back to her room she didn't find anyone there. There is no trace of the two girls anywhere on the ship, they have disappeared. Detective Varela is interrogating all the passengers and searching every cabin, except yours of course, but so far there's no trace of them. It's like they evaporated into thin air. They think they might have been kidnapped but we have no idea who might have done such a thing or where they have been taken. The alternative, which is far worse, is that an accident might have happened, but it wouldn't make any sense... Diana couldn't move, why would Verónica take her outside and jump into the water with her? She would never do such a thing, I know her.

Natalia couldn't believe it. This was absurd. Why would anyone want to kidnap an invalid and a maid? Especially within a ship, a closed and limited place. There was no way they could stay hidden forever. Sooner or later the alleged kidnapper would inevitably be found. Why not carry out the abduction when the ship was about to dock at the port instead?

-Well, if they are still on the ship I'm sure they'll find them, sooner or later.

Sure, that was true. _If_ they were still on the ship. In fact, if she remembered correctly, the night before the ship had stopped for a few minutes. Héctor had said that there was some trouble with the engine, but Natalia now suspected this was as true as the alleged illness of the Villanueva sisters. Perhaps in that moment someone could have escaped the ship in a lifeboat, with the crew's help it would have been possible... But no, it didn't make sense; maybe her brain was so bored with all that inactivity and the lack of action of those last few days that it was really starting to see conspiracies everywhere. Diana couldn't even speak, how was she going to plan such a plot to escape the ship? And why would she do that? Not that the maid option made more sense, really. What connection could there be between her and Héctor? Unless all of this had been orchestrated by a third person who had fled with them aboard the lifeboat. But why? Natalia was most likely making the matter overly complicated. They had probably just been kidnapped by someone who would soon come forward to demand a ransom. Diana was still the daughter of a rich woman, and an easy target... it was also very likely that Carmen had already been contacted by the kidnapper and that she had been asked not to tell anyone, so as not to alert the police.

\- That's what I'm saying too. Carmen is upset, let's hope she gets better soon... Anyway, I would kindly ask you not to tell my nieces about this. They are already sick, if they also knew about Verónica they would just worry excessively. And I'm sure they'll reappear soon, it's a matter of hours probably.

-Yes of course, I won't say a word, - Natalia replied, showing one of her best fake smiles. -Although I didn't come here just to talk to you about Eva and Carolina. There is one thing I need to ask you.

-Me? Sure, tell me, if there's anything I can do to help you...

\- Well, I was wondering, when I was a kid my father once told me about an accident that had happened to your family, something about Carolina, if I'm not mistaken, and it had ended up in all the newspapers... can I ask you what it is? It came to my mind because I thought that it may have something to do with their disease, it probably won't change things that much but you know how they say in these cases, everything can help.

Pedro nodded. -Yes, of course, although this is definitely not the case. You see, I think you are referring to something that happened many years ago, Eva wasn't even born... it's not something our family likes to talk about, not even Eva and Carolina know about it and I don't want this to change, it's best for everyone. All you need to know is that it has nothing to do with diseases or anything like that.

The story was becoming more and more intriguing. What dark secret could the Villanueva family hide, besides those already discovered? Natalia needed to know. Of course, insisting was probably not going to help her much, which is why she opted for the option that had often proved to be the winning one: lying.

\- Of course, I completely understand your position. However, I must tell you that it was my brother Fernando who asked me to come to you personally to ask you that... I will simply tell him that it's best for Carolina not to know anything, but since I know how much he's been trying to be honest with his wife to regain her trust, I cannot guarantee that he too will respect your wish. And then Carolina could really start asking questions, and who knows, maybe even looking for old newspapers...

Natalia hesitated for a few moments, curious to see if the man had bought the lie. Luckily, once again her talent didn't fail her: -Okay, I suppose you are right, I certainly do not want my niece to start asking questions... Even if it means letting you know about it. But you have to swear that you'll only tell your brother, right? Nobody else must know.

-Yes, I swear, - Natalia replied, as convincingly as possible. In fact, she was actually going to keep it to herself, at least for the moment. First, she needed to gather as much information as possible.

-Come, sit down, - Pedro invited her. Natalia nodded, as she took a seat. The man sat on his bed.

-It all started when Carolina was a baby, she was only eight months old... the First World War had just ended, my brother Carlos and I owned a shoe company and things hadn't been easy for our business. Ironically, the wartime was better than the years immediately following: soldiers from other countries needed to buy uniforms, and that included shoes of course, so our business took off. But after the war things got worse, the whole country was going through a crisis and people from other countries were poor, many of them had been left with nothing, buying shoes was not a priority anymore. And so, my brother and I were forced to make drastic decisions and lay off many workers. Among them there was a man, to these days I still remember his face. His name was José, he had three children and the youngest was sick, he needed money to pay for his treatment and buy him medicines. The problem was that he wasn't the only one who had such problems, many were in the same situation. A lot of people were getting sick because of the flu and some couldn't even afford to buy food. Carlos and I couldn't keep everyone, we were forced to make choices, and so we couldn't do anything for him, despite him begging us more than once to take him back to work. The thing was that he was young, we thought he would have less trouble than others in finding another job... after a few months we managed to get him hired in another company. But unfortunately there was nothing to do for his son: he died shortly after. I can't even begin to describe how guilty my brother and I felt, we didn't imagine that his condition could be so serious. We did everything in our power to try to help that family, we even offered them money but they refused. To them, Carlos and I were his son's killers. And so, since the law couldn't punish us for that crime, José decided to take the law into his own hands.

Natalia registered everything very carefully. Pedro Villanueva was visibly upset, it was evident that the memory alone of what had happened was enough to destabilize him. Somehow, Natalia could relate to his guilt. She had sort of felt the same (and was, in fact, still feeling) about Clara. She wasn't directly responsible for her death, yet she couldn't help but feel heavily involved, albeit indirectly. Maybe she would have died anyway, just like that poor child, however one cannot help but keep wondering if perhaps, if things had been different, the other person could still be alive right now. That very same doubt still tormented her every night, just as it was visibly tormenting Mr. Villanueva.

-But it wasn't your fault, his son might have died anyway, nobody can tell for sure. It was a tough time for everyone, it's nobody's fault.

Pedro nodded. -Yes, maybe you're right, that's what my brother used to say too. He reacted better than me to the news, somehow. He said that maybe that man just needed to find a scapegoat, a culprit, and so he took it out on us... maybe he was right, but I will never be able to stop thinking about what would have happened if we had listened to him instead and if we hadn't fired him.

Natalia sighed. She could understand it all too well. - So what happened? Did José try to hurt Carolina?

-Yes, sort of. What I'm about to tell you is something Carolina must never know, but the truth is that she had a twin sister when she was born.

Natalia felt her heart skip a beat. A twin sister. It was exactly the kind of thing she had hoped to hear. Could it be that the woman who was sitting next to her brother in that very moment was her, and not Carolina? Until a few moments ago they had all been mere ravings, but now they were starting to become well-founded and plausible suspicions.

-A twin sister?- she asked for confirmation.

-Yes, exactly. My brother and his wife, Lidia, loved them with their whole heart, they used to spoil and pamper them like princesses. One day, when they were only eight months old, Carolina caught a fever. It wasn't anything serious but she had to stay at home with her mother, while Diana had been taken out for a walk by her grandparents. They were sitting in a park when José took advantage of a moment of distraction to kidnap her. At first he pointed a gun to her head and threatened to kill her, or so Lidia's parents told us...

\- So he killed her?- Natalia asked with bated breath. By now that story had intrigued her more than she was expecting to.

-No, or at least not right away. He put down the gun and ran off with the baby, and from there on no one ever saw her again. Carolina's grandparents were too shaken to chase him. I mean, they tried, but with little result. They called the authorities and began to look for the child in the entire city, day and night, but unfortunately she was nowhere to be found. Some witnesses said they saw José at the port, some of them said he had thrown the child into the water and drowned her. The whole area was searched but no one found anything anywhere, not even in the water. Eventually the child was declared missing and the matter fell by the wayside after some time, no one wanted to talk about such a sad and unpleasant circumstance, especially the people who frequented our family. They were all afraid of making us uncomfortable, or saying something that could upset us.

Natalia nodded. It made sense indeed.

-It was a hard blow for everyone, especially for Lidia. She fell into depression and got weaker day by day. She never stopped hoping that her daughter could still be alive, up until her very last days. She continued to do everything in her power to find her, even though we all told her to resign herself but it was all in vain. Fortunately, Eva's birth helped her to get better, at least a bit, and to move on. In the end we decided not to tell Eva and Carolina anything about their sister, there wasn't anything they could do to change what had happened anyway. We didn't want Carolina to feel guilty, after all if she hadn't been sick that day she could have ended up like her sister. We didn't want her to carry this burden for the rest of her life.

-Yes, I perfectly understand.

Natalia was almost petrified. Never would she have imagined that the Villanueva family was hiding such a secret. However, if Pedro was saying the truth, perhaps the madman who had kidnapped Carolina's sister might have abandoned her on a random ship out of guilt once he got to the port, headed who knows where. And then, maybe someone could have found her and the little girl had somehow managed to survive, and once she grew up she might have discovered in some twisted way Carolina's existence and the Villanuevas'. That might have led her to grow angry at them because of the life she was supposed to have but had actually been taken away from her, and so she had decided to infiltrate aboard the ship and take Carolina's place. Well, it certainly wasn't something easy to acomplish, and there were still so many details about that story that Natalia had yet to figure out, but it wasn't impossible at all... Natalia guessed that talking to the alleged Carolina could help her to understand the matter more clearly.

-It was very sad for us to eliminate every photograph and every record of poor Diana's existence, but it was necessary. Despite everything, I know that my brother and his wife kept loving her until the day they died, - Pedro continued to explain.

-Diana?- Natalia suddenly asked, as if that name was the equivalent of a state secret.

-Yes, - Pedro confirmed, -Diana, that's how my brother named her. Lidia chose "Carolina", she said it was an important name, and that was also the name of a dear friend of hers. Carlos chose "Diana" instead, my brother and I have always had a passion for mythology.

-Just like Carmen's daughter, - Natalia voiced her own thoughts.

-Exactly. What a strange coincidence, it must be a cursed name.

But Natalia was more than sure it was no coincidence. The more she thought about it, the more the whole thing was beginning to make sense and the pieces were starting to fit together. What better place to hide a person than in a bed with their face covered in a bunch of bandages? No one aboard that ship had ever seen Carmen's daughter's face, actually... and now, weirdely enough, she was gone. If it hadn't been absurd, Natalia could almost think that Diana had first taken Carolina's place and then, taking advantage of the confusion at the masquerade, she had killed her by throwing her off the ship. The thing was that Carolina had been in front of her eyes the whole time, together with Eva and Fernando, and when the fireworks had begun she had gone out onto the main deck with the rest of the passengers. Sure, she might have had an accomplice, like her mother for example, but if she had, why bother faking a kidnapping? Staging a suicide would have required far less effort, and they could have done it at night, when everyone was asleep and there was no risk of running into the maid. And then, there was still that strange thing involving the ship stopping for a few minutes... what if someone had discovered that Carolina was in danger and had taken advantage of the fireworks to save her, and now Carmen was worried because she feared that her plan might be exposed? But in this case, Héctor should have been aware of the whole thing. Why not report the fact directly to Valera, or to the authorities? Why did they decide to do it secretly? Was the person who had run away with Carolina the same person who was collaborating with Héctor, the one who had promised him protection? There were still too many things unclear, and Natalia needed answers. Answers that at that moment only one person could give her: that night, she and her little sister-in-law would undoubtedly have a good chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone get what other Netflix Spanish show I was referring to by naming Carolina's mother Lidia?


	14. XIV

Casandra's story went on for a long time: she told Carolina about the years she had spent in Rio, about her job at the hotel, about her choice not to contact her to respect Carolina and Fernando's marriage. She described her visits to Diana, their relationship. A part of Carolina couldn't help but wonder if Casandra by any chance was feeling something for her. From what she had gathered, they seemed to have spent a lot of time together, their relationship must have been rather intimate. Casandra then told her about Ayala, about his scheme to obtain the virus, about the kidnapping, about Diana's intention to kill Carolina. Unfortunately, Carolina knew it was all true, she had heard it herself when Diana had talked about her plan to murder her.  
  
Casandra explained that she had tried to get in touch with Carolina to tell her everything, but unfortunately, as she had already told her in the afternoon, she had discovered only then that she had moved to Buenos Aires; so basically she had no way of contacting her.  
  
-And so, as I couldn't warn you, I tried to do my best to protect you... I thought about all the people I knew and I tried to find someone who could help me. And so Pierre came to mind.  
  
-Pierre?- Carolina asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
-Yes, Pierre. Well, let's just say that Augustín told me about Clara at the time and about some of the things that had happened to her before I got on the ship. I tried to talk to her a couple of times, she told me a little about what she was going through... I tried to help her as much as possible, to listen to her, but unfortunately there was nothing I could do...  
  
Coming to think about it, Carolina indeed remembered she had once seen Casandra and Clara sitting at a third-class table, they were talking as if they had been sort of close.  
  
\- What do you mean? Do you know why she committed suicide?- Carolina asked. Casandra at the time actually knew everything about everyone, it was possible that she had found a way to gather information about Clara too.  
  
-Well, it's a very long story, let's say that I knew something was up, but none of us could have saved her, sadly. I remembered all that story and Pierre, how much he had been affected by her death, so I wrote to him and I offered him a deal. Carolina, I know you won't be happy to hear it, but I knew that he hated your family, especially Natalia, and so I took advantage of it: I explained to him what I had learned about you and Ayala and I told him that if he was willing to help me save you I would help him ruin Natalia and Fernando. It's horrible, I know, but it was the only way I had... I introduced him to Héctor Birabent, my father has known his family since he was a child and I knew that if I told him about my sister he would help me. And also, Fernando trusted Pierre and it didn't take long for him to resume aboard the Bárbara de Braganza, after the break he had taken. We prevented the captain of the Roncesvalles to get on the ship so that Nicolas could replace him and Héctor could take his place, it was all planned.  
  
Carolina did remember that both she and her husband had in fact been very happy to know that Pierre wanted to return to work with them. He was one of the best officers, very serious, kind and dedicated to his work. It had been a bad blow to lose him too, once they had gotten to Rio.  
  
-What did you do? I mean, what did they do to Fernando and Natalia?- Carolina asked, with a slight apprehension in her voice. She knew that Casandra was telling the truth, that her actions had only been dictated by her intention to protect her, but the thought that her husband and her sister-in-law were now in danger because of her obviously upset her.  
  
-Nothing serious, I swear. We made sure everyone started to think that the ship's captain was going crazy, that everyone doubted him and started to trust Héctor instead, so that he could be dismissed and Héctor could replace him. In the meantime Pierre talked to the rest of the crew and he convinced them to cooperate, so after they finally took control of the ship, during the masquerade party we used the fireworks as a distraction and while everyone was on the deck we dropped a lifeboat on the other side of the ship to escape. That's why I had to wait to get you out of there. If I had done it immediately Carmen would have been alarmed and they would have ended up finding me. No one was supposed to know that I and the others were on the ship, especially Valera or Fernando. But you don't have to worry, he and Natalia are not in danger, Héctor will simply pretend that there is a problem with the ship's engine and use this excuse to dock at the nearest port and divert the route, instead of going all the way to Veracruz. Your family will lose quite a lot of money, but they will get through. And Héctor and Pierre already have a ship waiting for them and ready to bo back go Spain, I talked to my father and he said he is willing to hire them and put them in charge of two of the oil tankers he owns.  
  
Carolina was left speechless. Had Casandra really done all that for her? She guessed that with the first officer on her side hiding her presence on board must have been pretty easy, but even so Fernando could still have run into her or one of her friends, even inadvertently, and find out everything. And if someone had noticed her or the lifeboats, things could have gone really bad for them and this time they actually would have risked going to prison. On a purely theoretical level what she had done was still a form of kidnapping, even though Carolina was one hundred percent consenting to it. As absurd as the whole situation was, Carolina was feeling more comfortable there, in a random boarding house in Caracas in the middle of nowhere, rather than in a cabin with her husband. At least right now, with Casandra by her side, Carolina was feeling like herself, free from everybody's expectations and all the social constraints.  
  
-Carolina, - Casandra called out to her, bringing her back to reality. -Are you angry? I'd understand if you were, seriously.  
  
\- No. I mean, I am not crazy about the idea that Fernando is now undergoing a mutiny, but if it was necessary then I understand. I mean, it's much better than still being in Carmen's cabin, or worse, at the bottom of the sea... if you hadn't arrived last night, I don't know what would have happened after the party.  
  
Casandra smiled at her, and Carolina felt her stomach flutter again. God, why did she have to make everything so hard. And to make matters worse, Casandra was still holding Carolina's hand, and now she had begun to hold it tighter. Carolina fought the urge to lock their fingers together. With every second that passed the desire to come closer to her was getting stronger and harder to ignore.  
  
-You do know that you took a really big risk by doing what you did, don't you? If Fernando or anyone else had found out about you, you could have gone to prison, - Carolina pointed out.  
  
-I know, - Casandra replied. -But I didn't care. Even if we had been caught I would have preferred to go to jail rather than to live the rest of my days withouth knowing if you were safe, thinking that there was a killer on the loose ready to murder you. You saved me Carolina, if I hadn't met you, I don't know what would have become of me. Returning the favor was the least I could do.  
  
Carolina smiled shyly. All right, she too had done everything in her power to help Casandra and prevent her from going to jail, but this time it was different.  
  
Also, given everything that Casandra and her family must have gone through at the time, as they had just found Rosa's body, helping her out in such a hard time was seriously the least she and Fernando could have done. Or at least that was the argument Carolina had used to persuade her husband. There was actually much more to that, and she knew it.  
  
-Yes, but it was different. All I had to do was talk to Fernando and convince him not to press charges against you, you on the other hand risked a lot more for me.  
  
Casandra smiled at her: - I wasn't referring to that Carolina, even though I'm really grateful to you for that. If I hadn't met you, after finding my sister's killer I probably would have been left with just a void inside me and a great deal of anger. It was only thanks to you that I realized that my life had to go on, that I had to start living again. As I've told you, my first months in Rio were not easy, we had been left with nothing, my job was very hard and I had never worked before. I was able to gather the strength to get up in the morning only because I kept thinking of you, of us. And in the night, when I closed my eyes, I imagined the life we could have had. I imagined being held in your arms, your eyes, your lips...  
  
It was then that Carolina could no longer hold herself back. She did not know if the reason was the dark, which undoubtedly made it easier for her to express her feelings, unlike the dazzling light of the sun, or Casandra herself, who was absolutely stunning, or her words, the sweet tone of voice in which she had uttered them, full of fear, words that perfectly depicted what Carolina herself had felt during those two years away from her, her thoughts and feelings. Perhaps the reason were Carolina's memories, which had reminded her of how much she had missed her, all the sleepless nights when she had wanted to reach out and feel Casandra by her side, to be able to hear her voice, just one more time. Perhaps it was all because of her feelings, which she had never really managed to erase despite trying and trying an endless amount of times. The thing was that, no matter the reason, even though she knew she shouldn't have done it and that it wasn't a good idea at all, Carolina completely lost her will to fight the strong urge she was feeling and let herself go: within half a second she gently placed her hands on Casandra's cheeks, closed her eyes and leaned forward to kiss her.  
  
Casandra was definitely taken by surprise, so much so that at first she remained motionless, showing no reaction. In a way it was almost like their first kiss, only now the roles had reversed: Carolina was the one who had initiated it, while Casandra on the other hand was almost paralyzed. However, unlike that moment, the two women were completely alone and no one would come to interrupt them (also because by that time almost everyone in the boarding house had probably already gone to sleep). And so, that moment could finally have the continuation it deserved: when Carolina pulled away just a bit, she saw Casandra slowly reopen her eyes and give her a look halfway between incredulous and amazed. Then, sighing with happiness, Casandra smiled brightly as she wrapped her arms around Carolina and pulled her in again, as she kissed her a second time. Carolina was more than happy to be held in her arms, while a shiver of excitement ran down her back and reached her stomach, her hands gently caressing the other woman's face. Although she had heard Casandra clearly admit that she had feelings for her (strong feelings, to be precise), the fear that she would not return her kiss for a moment had almost paralyzed her. Then Carolina saw her smile and everything inside her melted, her defensive walls completely fell apart.  
  
And in that moment it was as if the rest of the world had suddenly disappeared, as if it didn't matter anymore. Carolina bent her head a little and captured Casandra's lower lip as she let herself be completely bewitched by the other woman, as if intoxicated by her presence. She felt her perfume on her, her back burning under her touch, her heart beating louder than a thousand drums. By now her brain had stopped working altogether, Casandra was the only thing on her mind.  
  
-Carolina... - the latter whispered breathlessly. Carolina took the opportunity to catch her breath. Their eyes met, and for a split second Carolina felt her inside shaking. Casandra's pupils were completely dilated and the look full of desire that the black-haired woman was giving her caused a real earthquake inside her. Carolina felt once again the urgent need to be close to her, even more than before, and without further hesitation she once again brought their lips together and run a hand through Casandra's long black hair to pull her in. The more she kissed her, the more she wanted her kisses, as her desire grew exponentially. Carolina slightly parted her lips, and when Casandra did the same, almost at the same time, she felt her tongue slip slowly inside her mouth. Carolina felt an electric shock run through her as a blast of heat exploded in her chest.  
  
-I've missed you so much, - Casandra whispered on her lips, before Carolina captured them again into another kiss.  
  
-I've missed you too,- Carolina then replied, breathing heavily to catch her breath. - So much.  
  
Carolina registered the bright, incredulous smile that Casandra gave her, which made her heart melt like snow under the sun, just before the latter got close to Carolina to kiss her again. It was only in that moment, now that Carolina had finally found her again, that she realized how much she had really missed her, how everything could have been different if only she had been able to find the courage to look for her in Rio and tell her about her feelings, the courage to tell her that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop thinking about her. Only now did she realize how happy they could have been together, if only she had given herself the chance to find out. And now, the thought of having had a taste of all this happiness and then having to let it go forever seemed even more painful. So painful that it was almost as if someone had dug a hole inside her stomach into which Carolina felt herself sinking, along with the sad reality of their destiny. She reluctantly pulled away from Casandra, and this time she gave her a look full of melancholy.  
  
Then, as if the latter had been able to read her mind, Casandra gently stroked Carolina's right cheek and whispered, her lips only a few inches away from hers:-Carolina, run away with me. Leave everything behind and come to France with me, let's start over. Together.  
  
At that proposal, Carolina's heart skipped a beat, while her breath caught in her throat for a second. Leave everything behind and run away with her? In the span of two days everything in her life had radically changed, and apparently that trend seemed to be continuing even right now.  
  
-What?- Carolina asked, completely taken aback. The kiss with Casandra and all the emotions it had evoked in her had definitely altered her cognitive functions, her brain at that moment was not clear enough to think about that too. Not in that moment, at least.  
  
-I... I wanted to talk to you about it at another time, calmly, but I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore. I realize that I'm asking you a lot, and you don't have to answer me right away obviously, you can think about it all you want, seriously. But you should seriously consider it, it would be the solution to all our problems. Diana could stay with Fernando and take your place, and you would be free to start over. And we could live our other life, together.  
  
Casandra took Carolina's hand and laced their fingers together, then brought their joint hands to her lips and left a tender kiss on Carolina's palm. Carolina gave a slight start. She looked at her and saw reflected in her black eyes such enthusiasm and excitement at the thought of their future life that for an instant she was almost convinced to accept her proposal and forget about everything else. Although the temptation to answer with an enthusiastic yes and throw herself back into her arms was hard to resist, really hard, Carolina forced herself to say instead:- I probably need some time to think about it, if that's okay with you.  
  
Casandra nodded, unable to fully hide her disappointment. -Of course, it's completely normal, think about it during these days. The ship to Genoa leaves in a week, and then from there we will get to Nice by train.  
  
It wasn't that Carolina didn't want it, because she wanted it, she really did want it, so bad. If staying in a boarding house in Caracas could feel so liberating, let alone having the chance to start all over, without the weight of her marriage hanging over her and with a divine creature like Casandra at her side. She knew that Casandra could make her happy, really happy, especially now that the shadow of her sister's ghost had been erased once and for all and there were no more lies or secrets between them. But Carolina knew herself well enough to know that now it was the enthusiasm of the moment that made her think all those things, fomented by the kiss with Casandra and the happiness of having finally found her again. However, as soon as she was going to be left alone, if Carolina knew how her brain worked even a little bit (and sadly, Carolina knew it all too well) then she was sure that her anxieties, her paranoia, her doubts and insecurities would begin to torment her, and everything that was now looking like a piece of cake would soon become an insurmountable obstacle.  
After all, objectively speaking, there were many things she was going to have to give up to if she were to decide to follow Casandra: her sister Eva, her uncle Pedro, her husband Fernando (of course, Carolina was no longer in love with him, but that did not take away the fact that she still felt sincere affection towards him, since they had practically grown up together), the Roncesvalles, to whom she had dedicated the efforts of a whole year, her life in Buenos Aires, her friendships... Not that she thought that Casandra wasn't worth it, she just needed to be one hundred percent sure of what she was doing if she really wanted to start a new life and be happy. The last thing she needed was to hastily accept a proposal she didn't really feel ready for, and end up bringing with her regrets that she could end up holding against Casandra. Or alternatively, get Casandra's hopes up by saying yes and then find herself changing her mind three days later. Somehow, her reluctance to give her an answer right away was also a way to protect her feelings and avoid the risk of hurting her unnecessarily.  
  
-It's not that I don't want to,- Carolina reassured her, taking both her hands in hers, -because I want to, I really do.  
  
Casandra immediately gave her a joyful smile, and Carolina couldn't help but think she was truly gorgeous, especially when she was happy.  
  
-It's just that I need to think about it and be one hundred percent sure of what I'm doing, there's no turning back from this kind of thing. You understand me, right?  
  
Casandra nodded, this time with more conviction. -Of course I understand you, I also want you to be sure and have no regrets.  
  
Carolina smiled, aware of the fact that she was telling the truth, and this heartened her greatly. It was nice to know that Casandra could understand her position and that she wasn't pressuring her, just like she never did on the Bárbara de Braganza.  
  
-I appreciate it, seriously. It means a lot to me. And, if you're referring to Fernando, in that case I can tell you right away that I won't have any regrets. Not because of our marriage, at least. It's all over between me and him, it has been for quite some time, and I think he knows it too, even if none of us has admitted it openly. It wasn't just because of you though, there were problems between us even before we got married, and his affair with your sister was just the straw that broke the camel's back. When something is broken you can try as hard as you want to get things back to the way they used to be, but sometimes it's not possible.  
  
Casandra nodded understandingly, slightly tightening her grip on Carolina's hands. -Yes, I understand. Actually if I have to be completely honest, Verónica mentioned it to me before, about you and Fernando, and for what it's worth I'm sorry. Did the break-up hurt?  
  
Carolina smiled as she saw that Casandra didn't want to lie to her even about an insignificant detail like that. She really did want to change.  
  
-A little, but not just because of him. The months I spent in Rio weren't easy for me either, in many ways. After I met you everything basically changed for me, not just my relationship with Fernando. My life didn't even feel like something that belonged to the person I was, but at the same time it was the only one I knew and that was available. And I really could have used you by my side, you know, because I knew that you would understand me and you would be able to give me advice. You have no idea how many times I've thought about looking for you, coming to you, talking to you, trying to fix things... I even managed to find your address, and a couple of times I went to the neighborhood where you lived. But in the end I never made it to your house and knocked on your door as I should have, I was too scared and every time I ended up going back home to Fernando. Who knows, maybe if I had had a little more courage by now everything could have been different...  
  
Carolina felt an unpleasant feeling of melancholy invade her as she remembered those sad days, and if possible Casandra's absence felt even harder to endure. Before she could stop herself, she felt a tear drop from her right eye and wet her cheek, as she immediately raised her hand to wipe it away.  
  
-Carolina, come here.  
  
Casandra reached out in order to hold her in a protective embrace, stroking her blond hair with her fingertips, while Carolina dropped her head on her shoulder, closed her eyes and just let herself be held. God, why did the warmth of her body feel so pleasant and familiar?  
  
-It wasn’t your fault, okay? Seriously. You did your best, evidently in Rio it wasn't the right time. But now we're here and we're together, that's the only thing that matters.  
  
Carolina nodded. It was amazing how Casandra always managed to find exactly the right words, the ones she needed to hear and that always managed to reassure her and make her feel better.  
  
Reluctantly, Carolina moved slightly away from her to be able to look into her eyes, and Casandra's face was again incredibly close to hers.  
  
-The only thing,- Carolina repeated, and suddenly the urge to receive another kiss was so strong that Carolina didn't want to find the strength to fight it and just surrendered to it, tilting her head just enough to meet Casandra's lips again. Luckily they both managed to keep the kiss much more chaste than the previous ones, so pulling away was a little easier than before.  
  
\- Yes, - Casandra repeated, with an adoring smile that lit up her face, -the only thing.  
  
-Did you talk to Verónica, then?- Carolina then asked, as she remembered what Casandra had told her earlier. She was curious to know how much of their conversation the brunette would be willing to share.  
  
-Yes, earlier, while you were sleeping, she had come to see how you were.  
  
Carolina nodded. -And what else did you tell each other? Anything important?  
  
At that moment Carolina clearly saw a conscious expression on the other woman's face, a sign that perhaps she was beginning to sense something. -Why are you asking? Did you hear anything?  
  
Carolina shook her head with conviction as she shrugged. -No, just plain curiosity.  
  
Well, there was nothing wrong with an innocent lie, for once.  
  
-Well, we talked a little about her mother, I made my condolences on her death... It was a nice conversation, I think we both needed to have it. And... - after a moment of silence, Casandra decided to reveal: - I told her about us. I mean, about me mostly, how I feel about you... and about what happened on the ship two years ago. I know, maybe I shouldn't have, but she was nice to me and I just felt like doing it. Are you angry?  
  
Casandra gave her a look that made all her concern evident, and Carolina thought it was really sweet of her. In fact, Carolina was almost happy that Casandra had told Verónica everything, she probably would have felt much more embarrassed in doing so and would not have known how to deal with the subject, especially since she had no way of knowing how the other would react. In any case, if no one had said anything to her, she probably would have ended up realizing it on her own anyway, and Carolina felt reassured at the thought that there was at least a person they didn't have to hide from and who supported them.  
  
-No, absolutely, I'm actually happy you told her. How did she react?- she then asked, although she already knew the answer to that question.  
  
-Well, in general not too bad... of course, you could see that she was a bit uncomfortable and she wasn't expecting it, but in the end she was fine with it, she said that she didn't think there was anything wrong with it. I don't know if she did it just to get on my good side or if she really meant it, but she seemed quite honest to me.  
  
Carolina smiled in relief. -Good. Verónica is a good person, I think we can trust her. I'm glad she knows about us ... at least we don't have to hide from her.  
Sure, she was most definitely still going to wait to be alone with Casandra to indulge in physical displays of affection, but at least she wouldn't have to lie about her feelings and their relationship. In the meantime, Casandra's expression showed astonished satisfaction.  
  
-Us? So there’s an "us"?  
  
Carolina felt herself blush, while she gave her a shy, embarrassed smile.  
  
-Well, yes. Me and you. If that's what you want.  
  
Casandra nodded decisively. -Of course that's what I want.  
  
Carolina smiled. Her heart had been subjected to so many emotions during that day that she really needed to get some rest now, which is why she said: -Maybe we should go to sleep, what do you say? I'm a little tired, but we can continue the conversation tomorrow.  
  
-Of course,- Casandra replied, -I would also like to continue the conversation tomorrow. You still have to tell me what you wrote to me a year ago, and I want to know everything about what you did in Rio and Buenos Aires.  
  
Well, her life had actually been much less eventful than Casandra's, so Carolina doubted she had such noteworthy things to tell her, but in any case given Casandra's interest she was going to make an effort to comply with the request. Besides, she was right, the letter was addressed to her, so she deserved to find out what its content was.  
  
-Okay, then I'll tell you,- Carolina promised. Meanwhile, both of them got up and began to head into the boarding house. -But don't expect much, my life has been much more boring than yours, even if there have been some good moments in Buenos Aires.  
  
-I want to know everything, - Casandra assured her, -even the most boring and banal things.  
  
Carolina sighed amused. -You know, I was thinking that tomorrow if you'd like to we could go for a walk, what do you think? I have never been in Caracas before, I would like to explore the surroundings a bit.  
  
-Sure, as long as you feel well. But don't push yourself too hard Carolina, okay? Up until yesterday you were stuck in a bed, you have to recover gradually.  
  
Carolina thought to herself that it was such a warm and pleasant feeling to have someone shower her with attention and take care of her. Casandra had been quite right when she had said that everyone needs someone to take care of them, it's just that it had been such an unfamiliar feeling to Carolina that she had been able to realize how badly she actually needed it only after experimenting it first hand.  
  
-Don't worry, I already feel much better than earlier right now, and we don't have to be out all day anyway, we could just take a walk for a couple of hours. I think I could use some fresh air.  
  
Casandra nodded. -Yes, you're right. Maybe we could ask Verónica and Simón to join us, I'm sure they would like to go out for a bit too.  
  
-Of course.  
  
The two of them reached the door of their room, entered silently and began to get ready for bed, doing their best not to wake their two roommates, who apparently were already asleep. Carolina let Casandra go to the bathroom first, she decided to wait for her on the folding cot on which she was going to sleep. As she turned to the window, Carolina saw that the sky outside that night was full of stars; she had been so focused on Casandra earlier that she had hardly noticed. She sighed and suddenly found herself hoping that that window among the stars could give her the answers she was looking for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I've basically used an awful amount of words just to get to this point. But I think it was worth it. I apologize for being so painfully slow to update but I hope you guys are still appreciating the chapters! This one was particoularly imporant for obvious reasons so I hope I've done justice to Casandra and Carolina and to their reunion! The end is getting closer but I've actually started to write a sort of AU about them, I didn't even finish the first chapter but still, if any of you were interested in reading more about them I'd consider translating it as well once I'm done with this fic. Also, at the end of this chapter I gave you sort of a hint about the meaning of the title hahaha but it will be explained better in the next chapter, which will be a flashback set during season two! So yeah, sort of like another one-shot. Thank you to those who are still reading this, I really appreciate all of you!


	15. XV

_Two years earlier, on the Bárbara de Braganza_  
  
Carolina was staring thoughtfully at the window in the cabin she shared with Fernando, unable to sleep. At least the sight of the stars was a beautiful view.  
  
  
It was truly incredible how many changes her life had undergone in the span of a few days; not that long ago she had thought that the whole Rosa Marín thing was dead and gone (only, not in its literal sense). Not only had this woman's ghost recently re-emerged from their past to bring back unpleasant memories, but it was also making her consider the option that her husband, the man Carolina less than a week ago had sworn to love until the end of her days, until death would do them apart, may even be her killer.  
  
And then, as if that weren't enough, Casandra had entered her life too... and that certainly meant something to her. Carolina had feelings for her, she couldn't deny it. It would have been much easier to say that she only believed that their connection had been real because of her lies, but it really wasn't true. For the first time, Carolina had found someone who understood her, who could see her for who she really was, who listened to her and with whom she felt so at ease that she could speak her mind freely; someone who didn't make her feel as though she had to be the strong one all the time, but allowed her to be fragile and vulnerable. Of course, not that with Eva or Fernando she couldn't, because she knew that if she had been willing to ask for help or share her concerns, they would be more than happy to be there for her. It's just that she didn't actually feel like she could do it. She constantly felt compelled to fulfill the expectations that others had on her, the obligations that her role as wife and older sister entailed; being able to just be herself and do what she wanted most seemed almost impossible.  
  
Perhaps the fact that Casandra was external to the context in which Carolina had always lived had certainly helped, but it wasn't the only reason. Every time she talked to her, Carolina felt like she was starting to realize so many things about herself, things that had always existed in the first place but she had never seen before. And for the first time she had started to think that now the future she had previously imagined for herself was no longer her only option. Well, the very thought of that was still something pretty hard to fathom, but at least she had become aware of its existence. She kept thinking about the conversation she had had with Casandra a few days ago about her sketches, her passions, about the fact that if she hadn't been so much pressured while growing up maybe she too would be able to develop her creativity and discover her artistic side, just like Eva. She kept thinking about the possibility of finding a job that could make her feel fulfilled, just as Fernando was with his job as a ship owner. Truth to be told, Carolina had actually been given the opportunity to run the family business, along with her uncle, but it was a responsibility that she perceived as too big to handle, especially since it wasn't an industry Carolina was particularly interested in. Letting a man take care of her and sustain her had seemed a much wiser decision, one that was more suitable for her and that could make her lead the life she had always thought was the most desirable. But was that really what she wanted? Being a wife for the rest of her life?  
  
As she was silently staring at the window, Carolina found herself thinking that in a way it was as if Casandra had opened a new window to the world for her. The window Carolina used to know and be familiar with offered her a view on fancy, luxurious buildings located in a beautiful city, to use a metaphor, whereas what Casandra could offer her was a window among the stars. On one hand, it gave her a completely different perspective, one that was definitely different from what Carolina was used to, but on the other hand it was really beautiful and so inviting, and Carolina couldn't help but feel attracted to it, incredibly attracted. Just as she was attracted to Casandra. She liked everything about her, she had always had, ever since the first time they had met. She remembered feeling such a warm and familiar feeling within her that she had actually wondered if they had seen each other before. And then there was the way Casandra looked at her, which made her feel as though there were earthquakes inside of her, the way she touched her, the way she kissed her. Their kisses had always lasted mere seconds, unfortunately, because someone had always come to interrupt them. Despite this, they had evoked in her feelings that were so strong and intense and warm that Carolina had wondered when she had felt that way for the last time... or if she had ever felt that way at all throughout her life.  
  
But then all her lies had come to light, and it was as if a dagger had pierced Carolina's heart from side to side. Of course, she had told her more than once that everything that had happened been between them had been real, and Carolina could actually believe it... but this certainly didn't fix the wounds that her betrayal had caused her, all the anger and sadness she had felt. Carolina had immediately trusted her, she had opened up to her, she had told her things that very few people knew about her, while Casandra had done nothing but lie to her ever since the moment they had met. Carolina felt incredibly stupid for having believed her so easily, when she didn't even know her that much; she had let herself be enchanted by a pair of deep, black eyes and all those beautiful words like a fool. However, this didn't change the fact that she had feelings for Casandra, strong feelings, and she couldn't erase them. That window among the stars was tempting her so much...  
  
Unable to sleep, Carolina stood up and walked over to the window, looking out at the sky. Her gaze then dropped for a moment to the deck below her, and it was then that she saw the figure of a woman sitting on one of the benches. For a moment Carolina's heart leapt. Could it really be her? She couldn't quite make it out because of the darkness.  
  
_Let's make a bet. Now I'm going to get out and get some air. If it's not her, I'll go back to my room and I'll stop thinking about her once and for all, forever, I'll forget about her and all the things we said to each other. Tomorrow we will get to Rio and everything will be gone, forever. If it's her, I will at least listen to what she has to say._  
  
Aware that the odds that it was Casandra, of all the passengers, were almost non-existent, Carolina changed silently and left the room, heading for the deck. She walked to the bench below her cabin window and tried to get closer discreetly, her heart beating loudly inside her chest. When she saw the woman turn towards her and two dark eyes looking at her, letting on how surprised she was to see her, Carolina felt faint for an instant. It really was Casandra. Was it a sign of fate?  
  
No, just a mere coincidence. Nothing but a mere coincidence.  
  
_-Carolina_ , - Casandra greeted her, looking up at her when she was close enough to hear her.  
  
-Hi, - Carolina greeted her with a hint of a smile. Without saying a word, she sat down next to her on the bench, carefully avoiding her gaze. It was much easier to stare at the sea, at least Carolina knew what to expect from it. She couldn't say the same about Casandra.  
  
-What are you doing here? - Casandra asked in a friendly tone. -Are you having trouble sleeping?  
  
-Yes, - Carolina replied, -I think it's just the heat. What about you?  
  
It was obvious that it was all her worries that were actually keeping her awake, but Carolina thought that maybe pretending they didn't exist would help her feel more normal.  
  
-I can't sleep either, I wanted to get some air, - Casandra explained. -Are you okay?- she then asked her, after a few moments of silence.  
  
-Yes,- Carolina replied, with little conviction. -I mean, no, but it doesn't matter. It's none of your business.  
  
-Are you sure it's not, Carolina?  
  
Carolina finally turned to look at her and didn't answer. It was pointless, Carolina guessed, Casandra probably already knew the answer.  
  
-Why did you do it?- she asked instead, deliberately choosing not to give any context to that question.  
  
-Did what? Why did I lie to you? When I first got on this ship, my only goal was to avenge my sister, as I have already told you. I didn't care about hurting or deceiving other people, if that meant getting what I wanted. I didn't think I'd meet someone like you, and that in such a short time I'd become so attached to you, Carolina. But I can't tell you that if I could go back in time things would be different, unfortunately... it was the only way I had to be heard and to get the chance to investigate about my sister. If I had stayed in Vigo, I wouldn't have been able to do anything for her. I'm very sorry Carolina, but it really was the only way. I don't expect you to forgive me, really, I just want you to take that into consideration. I wish I could have met you in different circumstances, I can tell you that. Like when you still weren't married and my sister was still alive, and we could have been free to get to know each other, without all the drama and all these lies.  
  
Carolina nodded. These were all things that Casandra had already said before, and that Carolina was aware of. Perhaps it was precisely because she too had become attached to Casandra that she had been hurt so much.  
  
-I know that, - Carolina replied, as she didn't want to reveal too much, -and I can sort of understand that. What I don't understand is the reason why you did all this for her. You said that you spent two years preparing this plan, that you tried to make everything work perfectly, you fooled me and everyone else... why did you do it? You and your sister weren't even that close, or at least that's what you told me... So why? Wasn't it easier to let go and move on?  
  
  
Casandra sighed. For a second she looked down, as if she were trying to find the right words. Then, as she fixed her gaze on Carolina again, she finally began to speak: -My parents have always loved Rosa immensely. Everyone in our family and in our company loved her and my father was really proud of her, he was sure that one day she would take his place and become a very good leader, capable of dealing with trades and doing businesses. Even the officers and employees trusted her blindly, so much so that as you know my father entrusted her with the negotiations for the sale of the Covadonga to Fernando.  
  
Carolina nodded. Indeed at the time it had seemed a bit strange to her that it was the owner's daughter who was in charge of the negotiations, but Carolina hadn't really given that much though in the end. In her mind she was more than sure that she was going to get married to Fernando, she would have never even remotely suspected that someone who she saw just as pawn in a business game she had no interest in meant much more to her fiancé.  
  
  
-She was like a daughter to Erich, he watched her grow up, he stood by her side when she took her first steps, when her first tooth fell out. That's why he helped me and is still helping me so much to do her justice. If it wasn't for him, I never would have made it so far. Rosa had a special way of talking to people. She was self-centered, impulsive, ambitious and she clearly knew what she wanted, but she also knew how to make others love her if she wanted to. Day by day she proved herself to be able to live up to our father's expectations and that she had a bright future ahead of her, she was practically the perfect daughter.  
  
As she registered a note of bitterness in her voice, Carolina decided to ask her: -Were you jealous of her? - After a short pause, she explained: -I know it's not something nice to say, but I can actually understand you a little. I mean, this sort of things can happen to anyone.  
  
She herself had felt jealous of Eva and her talent countless times. Or maybe Carolina simply envied the fact that she didn't have to bear the weight of the responsibilities she had to deal with on a daily basis. Once again, it was really impressive how easy she and Casandra could understand each other, the sense of familiarity that this woman gave her.  
  
-Yes, a little bit, but I actually never wanted to fill her shoes. I was jealous of all the attention she got, of all the compliments that everyone paid her, of the way everyone immediately became fond of her all the time, while I remained on the sidelines. But I could see my sister in her private life and I knew that deep down she wasn't happy. She too was affected by all the expectation she had on her, sort of like you at the end of the day, she often felt pressured and anxious; Fernando was a bit of an escape to her. She had told me about her relationship with him, and even though I didn't approve it and I genuinely felt sorry for you, I was glad to see that she was truly happy, for once. I told her more than once to break it off because it could be dangerous, but she never wanted to listen to me. We weren't that close as I told you, we didn't have that much in common, most of the time I just looked at her from afar, but I loved her very much... she was a role model to me, someone to look up to, even though I knew I could never be like her. When she disappeared it was a hard blow for everyone. My parents tried their best to find her, but the police seemed to want to obstruct the search. They said they were investigating, but it looked like no one wasn't really doing anything for her. We insisted, we kept saying that we knew she had to be on our ship, on the Covadonga, but they simply told us that they were sure she wasn't, that they had checked and there was no sign of her. But we knew it couldn't be true. Some witnesses said they saw her getting on another ship and the police concluded that she had simply escaped, and the case was closed in no time. But I knew my sister, I knew she would never do that to us. We all knew it. The family business was everything to her, she would have never left like that, overnight, without even saying a world or leaving a note. And even though everyone had resigned themselves, my family continued to do anything to find her, none of us could find peace. You can't imagine the money my dad spent on paying private detectives, and no one has ever been able to track her down. It was as if she had evaporated into thin air. Erich and I had heard Augustín's story, we knew that Fernando Fábregas was the last person who had seen her alive and that he had to be her killer, but we had no proof. My father and my mother were dying out more and more every day, they had lost not only their will to fight but also to live... and our house, which used to be constantly filled with people, with Rosa's friends, of noise, with life, had become a deathbed, surrounded by silence all the time. It was as if time had stopped and for two years everything had paralyzed, waiting for her return. And the worst thing was not so much her death, because we could accept that, no matter how painful it was. Worst of all, Carolina, was the fact that none of us had any idea what had happened to her. We didn't know where she was, if she had really run away, we never even got to give her a funeral. If we had, I think it would have been easier to move on. But this lack of closure was slowly killing us. My parents basically stopped talking to each other, my father started to spend all his days locked up in his office, my mother was barely eating, she was slowly letting herself die. And I... I was just kind of there and I felt lousy, completely helpless and unable to do anything, to fight back and to save my family. And then I thought that Rosa, on the other hand, would not have just stood there and watched our family die, she would have done everything in her power to find out the truth, no matter the cost. And so I found the strength to get back up and do the same. I needed to do her justice and find her killer, and make the person who was destroying my family pay for what he had done. It was the only way I had to go on with my life. And so I discussed this with Erich and Augustín, and we began to plan this whole thing together, we tried to work out every single detail so that everything could be perfect. It took us a long time, but we had to make sure we wouldn't fail. In our minds we were one hundred percent sure that Fernando was the murderer. And now that we know for sure he's not... I don't know, I don't know what to think Carolina. I feel empty inside, almost as if I have nothing left. I will get off the ship without knowing who killed her, and my family will continue to be haunted by her ghost forever, but at least I can say I tried. I'm sorry I hurt you Carolina, I'm really sorry, but if I could go back I would do it all again, simply because I have no other choice. I have nothing else left.  
  
Carolina looked at her and felt a great pity for that vulnerable and fragile woman sitting next to her, who had been hurt so much. She realized that her grief must have been nothing when compared to all the suffering the Marín family had gone through during those two years. Carolina couldn't even imagine how she would have reacted if that had happened to Eva instead of Rosa, what it must have been like to see her family crumble before her eyes without being able to do anything. After all, Carolina could almost understand Casandra, and the reasons behind her actions. As she had said, if only they had known each other in another circumstance everything would have been different... but now there was nothing they could do. Tomorrow they would get to Rio and she and Casandra would probably never see each other again. It was too late for them, and for whatever fate could have had in store for them.  
  
_Are you really sure? She's here, you're here, you are together now. To me it looks like we still have time to do something about it._  
  
_What can I do? I have a husband. And I love him. And Casandra still lied to me. I will go back to Fernando because it is the right thing to do, and because there's no other way things could possibly go.  
  
Of course. As far as I'm concerned you might as well keep telling yourself this nonsense to justify the fact that you are too afraid to do what would actually make you happy.  
  
And what would make me happy, since you know me so well?_  
  
_Well, for example, right now it would make you very happy to hug Casandra, to hold her, to tell her that you are sorry for what she has been through and that it isn't true that she has nothing left because she has you._  
  
Okay, that was a good point, and it was actually a little bit true; Carolina felt heartbroken at the thought of all the suffering Casandra had endured for the loss of her sister, especially because she knew with absolute certainty that she didn't deserve it in the least. It was a real shame that Eva and all the others were ready to go against her, to judge her and to accuse her of the worst atrocities without even knowing anything about her and her past, because if they had stopped for a moment to get to know her they would have realized that Casandra was actually a very sweet and kind and understanding person and wonderful and intelligent, so much so that Carolina could have talked to her for hours without getting tired, and indeed, the time she could get to spend with her never seemed enough. And whenever they were together Carolina always felt so happy and understood and she felt such an intimate and deep connection with her, something she had never felt with anyone else before, that it made her forget about everything else in the world while she was with her, and yes, all right, maybe in the end it was true, it was all true, being with Casandra did make her happy. And actually all that Carolina wanted to do at that moment and that would have made her very happy was to hold her and tell her that everything would be okay, that she was no longer alone because they had finally found each other, and then look into her eyes, gently caress her cheek and give her one of those electrifying kisses which made her feel as though the oxygen was going straight to her heart; it was the only thing she truly, desperately needed.  
  
_Wait, what? No. No, I didn't mean to say that._  
  
_See, you answered yourself. Kissing Casandra would make you happy. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it.  
  
Of course there is something wrong with that. There is everything wrong with that. I can't kiss Casandra again. I won't. I shouldn't.  
  
But you didn't say you don't want to.  
  
That is not important._  
  
After all, Carolina had never regarded her own wishes as something really important. Why would she start doing that now?  
  
-But, - Casandra continued, after a short pause caused by Carolina's momentary silence, as the latter was caught up in her inner struggle - no matter what happens, I'm glad I got on this ship, because it led me to you.  
  
God, she certainly wasn't making it easy for her by telling her things like that. Especially when she was looking at her with those bright eyes and was speaking in that low, agitated voice.  
  
-You are?- Carolina asked, doing her best to force herself to remain as indifferent as possible. As she was thinking about it with a cool head, she didn't know if Casandra was actually being honest or if she had only told her that for a matter of circumstance. -If we had never met, things would probably have been simpler, - and that didn't just go for Casandra, by the way, -and as far as you know I could be involved in your sister's murder, even indirectly or without me knowing it. Aren't you concerned about that?  
  
-No, - Casandra shook her head with conviction. -I don't care. It's true, if I had never met you it would have been easier, but there is a part of me that has almost felt reborn because of you. If I've finally started to feel alive again after two whole years, I owe it all to you. And this is no small thing for me. I... after everything that had happened to Rosa I had begun to see the worst in people, I constantly projected the anger I felt inside me into those who were around me. But you, Carolina... I don't really know the right words to express it, but it's like there's something about you. You always see the best version of others, especially of the people you love. It’s like you can give yourself to them completely in order to help them develop it. You can love unconditionally. And this made me feel something inside me, right here, - Casandra said, pointing with her forefinger at the left side of her chest.  
  
Carolina swallowed. No one had ever said that to her before. They were truly some of the sweetest words anyone had ever said to her in her entire life. Honestly, Carolina never thought she was anything special, nor that she deserved special merit or attention for the way she behaved towards others. And then Casandra had come along and she was making her feel so special and important and valued and appreciated and now in that very moment she was giving her an adoring look, and Carolina suddenly felt her knees become extremely weak, about to give out, while a sudden burst of heat exploded inside her chest. Every inch of her body was screaming at her to hold Casandra in her arms and not to let her go ever again, but at the same time the fear of that intense, unexpected and unknown feeling was completely paralyzing her, preventing her to move any muscle.  
  
-Carolina, you do things to me, - Casandra then whispered, almost as if she was confessing those things even to herself. Her voice let on how scared she was of her own admission, probably because of the awareness that those were feelings that she'd never get to express. At least not in the sunlight, but only under the stars of the night sky.  
  
Casandra then took Carolina's hand and placed it on her chest, exactly where her heart was. Carolina felt it race under her touch, just as her own heart was pounding inside her chest. She felt a bolt of electricity shoot through her; as she looked into her eyes under the moonlight Carolina felt an intense desire to hold her, to touch her and above all to kiss her, long enough to run out of breath.  
  
-Do you believe me?- Casandra then asked, worried about Carolina's prolonged silence. From the outside her reticence to speak could actually seem like a sign of anger, but the truth was that the more Casandra was speaking, the more Carolina's cognitive functions were deteriorating, as she was gradually losing the ability to form a coherent sentence. -Can you feel my heart, Carolina?  
  
-Yes, I can - Carolina decided to answer at the end, as she was feeling her heartbeat under her hand. Carolina really appreciated that sincere gesture of vulnerability. And so, she decided to reciprocate her trust by doing exactly the same: she took Casandra’s hand and brought it to her chest, allowing her to feel her heart, which at that moment was in fact madly racing.  
  
-Earlier today you asked me what I felt for you, and I told you I didn't know, - Carolina began. -Here, this is what I feel for you. You... you do things to me as well. And I don't know how to deal with that, this is the truth. I'm so confused and I don't know what to do, what the right choice is.  
  
_And I just want you to kiss me now and convince me to get off this ship with you, because right now I feel like there's nothing else I want more than that._  
  
-Carolina...  
  
Casandra closed her eyes and sighed; then when she opened them again Carolina saw reflected in them the exact same need for physical contact and proximity she was feeling. She felt Casandra's body getting closer to her on the bench until their legs were touching, while Casandra put her hands on Carolina's face and gently caressed her cheeks, brushing her fingertips against her skin. Every inch of her body she was tenderly stroking was burning under her touch. Carolina closed her eyes and tilted her head slightly to her right, her lips planted a warm kiss on the palm of Casandra's hand. She heard the other woman sigh as she said her name:  
  
_-Carolina._  
  
Once again, Carolina felt herself tremble. God knew how much she wanted her, how much she wanted to taste her lips again, even just one last time, how much she was longing for the feeling of her arms wrapped around her body, of her hands caressing her. And judging by the way Casandra had just pronounced her name, Carolina clearly understood that it was mutual, which made the awareness of the fact that she had to resist her even more painful.  
  
  
-I really should get back, - Carolina finally said, as she opened her eyes again. Her face was even closer to Casandra's now, their lips were really a few inches from touching.  
  
_Ask me to stay out here with you all night. Ask me to kiss you all night long and I'll do it._  
  
-Yes, maybe you should, - was instead Casandra's reply, as she stroked her face again. The woman brought her lips to Carolina's face and kissed her cheek, similarly to the way she had done it a few days before, and Carolina exhaled a trembling breath. -Is it also what you want, though? - she whispered in her ear. As the seconds were passing by, Carolina's self-imposed will to fight her urges was growing weaker and weaker.  
  
-Maybe I can stay another five minutes, - Carolina replied, avoiding the question; as if the answer wasn't obvious. Then she proceeded to kiss Casandra back, placing her lips in the exact same spot where the other women had just kissed her three seconds before.  
  
-Yes, - Casandra said, with little conviction, -five minutes.  
  
She pulled a lock of blonde hair behind Carolina's ear and placed a kiss on her forehead. Carolina felt herself shaking and panting, as she closed her eyes again. She cursed herself and the moment she had thought getting out of her cabin to get some air would be a good idea. Now finding the strength to get back inside was almost impossible, especially with Casandra being so close to her, capable of clouding her judgment completely. She had to appeal to that last shred of willpower she had left not to beg her to kiss her again, even if that was what she wanted to do.  
  
She leaned forward and whispered, a few inches away from Casandra's lips: -I wish everything could be simple, that's what I want.  
  
-Me too Carolina, - Casandra admitted. -I wish I could wake up with you tomorrow and forget about everything else, every single thing. I wish I could have the chance to make it up to you for all the lies.  
  
Casandra slightly lifted up her face and tenderly kissed Carolina on the tip of her nose, as she smiled happily a second time. Why did everything feel so good and so simple while they were together? For an instant Carolina imagined waking up in Casandra's arms to her kisses, she pictured a fresh start where they could have the chance to be together in the real world, on the mainland. It really did seem wonderful, but Carolina knew that those were just fragments of images belonging to another life, just as Casandra had called it during their first meeting. A happy life, a life where there was a future for them, but still _another_ life. Unlike the actual, real life. The next day they would get to Rio and everything that had happened between them aboard the ship would vanish forever, destined to be confined to an indefinite spot in the ocean. The only thing they had left were those brief, insignificant five minutes. And suddenly, Carolina found herself wishing:  
  
-I wish these five minutes would never end.  
  
And then, right then, as if that declaration had been an implicit confirmation of the reciprocity of her feelings, Casandra finally did what Carolina had been longing for since the beginning of their conversation and kissed her on the lips. And so Carolina finally looked out of her window and saw the stars again.  
  
  
After a first hesitant brushing of lips, Casandra pulled away from Carolina to have the confirmation that she wanted it as much as her. Carolina saw reflected in her deep, black eyes all her fears and insecurities, but she also clearly recognized her desire, entirely reciprocated. She saw the small, shy smile that Casandra was giving her, and Carolina had no more doubts left, she didn't want to conceal her own feelings anymore: she reached out and gently caressed her face, then joined their lips again in another kiss, which this time lasted longer. Now that they were finally alone and didn't have to worry about anyone coming in and interrupting them, Carolina finally felt free to let herself go and enjoy the moment without hesitation and all the pleasure their kiss was eliciting in her. She felt Casandra's tongue gently slipping into her mouth, which caused shivers of pleasure to run through her spine; she felt her hands roaming over her body, she felt the need to touch her grow out of all proportion with every second that passed, she felt the fireworks in her stomach become stronger and more intense. A few days ago she had barely just tasted what a kiss should feel like, but now that they were finally alone, without any kind of pressure, Carolina did no longer get just a quick glimpse of the starry sky; now she was gazing at the whole firmament, and at an endless number of marvelous constellations whose existence she had just discovered. That was what Casandra could give her, if she had the strength to go for her and the courage to voice her desires; it was a whole other world, or perhaps a world that had always existed, but that Carolina had never been able to see, completely different from what she was used to, but at the same time full of new and fascinating sounds and colors.  
  
When she pulled away, Carolina hoped that maybe, finally, all those deeply wrong desires of hers would finally subside. She couldn't have been more wrong – if anything, that kiss felt like a burning flame that fueled even more all the feelings she had been trying to deny for days. After a much-needed pause to catch their breath, without fully realizing it she and Casandra found themselves kissing for a second time, and then a third, a fourth, a fifth, a sixth... and with each kiss, her need to touch the other woman and to feel her closer kept increasing, to the point that it was the only thought that Carolina's mind could conceive. Casandra's arms were jealously wrapped around her body, while Carolina was stroking her long dark hair with her right hand. Even so, however, she felt like she needed more.  
  
Luckily, before she could say or do anything she was probably going to end up regretting, Casandra ended that contact and pulled her lips away from Carolina's, even though the two were still very close:  
  
-Carolina,- she called out in a whisper, her voice trembling, as she was panting and struggling to catch her breath.  
  
When Carolina heard her name being called like that as she looked into Casandra's deep, black eyes, her pupils completely dilated, she felt an electric bolt run through her. She really had to do her best to keep herself from pulling the other woman closer a second time and give her another long, passionate kiss.  
_Ask me to get off this ship with you. We can do it, we can run away together. Just ask me, here, now, and I'll do it. You were right when you said that deep down we always know what the right thing for us is. And right now I know that I want you, only you, nothing but you, I feel it from the bottom of my heart. I want to make you forget all your suffering and have a fresh start, I want to be happy with you._  
  
Perhaps if Carolina had put into words everything she was thinking then things might have turned out differently; but she didn't. Partly because all the intoxicating sensations awakened by their kisses were still clouding her brain, which needed some time before it could get back to working properly; partly because she was afraid. She was more afraid right now than when her father had died (or at least when she thought he had) or when, not too long ago, she had been on the verge of passing away because of Dr. Rojas. Could she really just forget about her life, just like that, and about everything she lived and had always lived for? If Casandra had asked her to, then the answer would have been yes. It would have cost her a great deal of effort, sure; she could have regretted it later and Carolina wasn't feeling quite ready for such a big, sudden change, but she still would have said yes. Instead, apparently fate had other plans in store for them, since Casandra continued her sentence in a totally different way:  
  
-Five minutes have passed... maybe we should go back inside.  
  
And in that moment, Carolina was suddenly dragged back to reality and into the real world, to her everyday life, where the firmament was nothing but a distant, unreachable sight. The impact was harsher than expected.  
  
-Yes, - Carolina replied, lowering her gaze and (reluctantly) removing her hands from Casandra's body. The latter, however, energetically took Carolina's hands in her own, drawing her attention.  
  
-Listen, I still stand by what we've said to each other earlier today, okay? If one day you make a decision, I will come to you, no matter how long it may take. Until then, I'll wait for you.  
  
Carolina nodded, as she couldn't find the strength to say anything. A million contradictory thoughts went through her mind, to the point where it was practically impossible to formulate any sentence.  
  
-Well, I think I'll go to sleep now, it's late... - Casandra announced as she stood up, probably expecting Carolina to do the same. When she saw that Carolina was still sitting on the bench, she asked her: -Are you not coming?  
  
Carolina shook her head, looking blankly at the sea. -No, but you should go, I just want to get some air.  
  
-All right. Goodnight then, - Casandra said.  
  
Carolina finally looked up and met her gaze. She felt a painful grip in her stomach when she realized that, in fact, Casandra was leaving, and their interaction had come to an end.  
  
_Don't go. Stay here with me, please, even just a little longer._  
  
-Goodnight, -Carolina said instead, hinting a smile. Watching her go away did nothing but exacerbate her pain, so Carolina preferred to look at the sky and observe the stars in absolute silence. Without her realizing it, streams of silent tears began to streak her face. There was no particular reason why she was actually crying, other than the sad awareness of her situation. Perhaps her meeting with Casandra that night had simply generated a strong emotional tension in her, which Carolina somehow felt the need to unload. Maybe she just felt like it. The thing was that, in some strange way, her crying felt liberating, almost as a mean to express all the frustration she had experienced during the emotional roller coaster that voyage had been. And, for some strange reason, she actually felt better. At least partly. The only certainty Carolina had at the moment was that she had to make a decision. She couldn't spend years and years thinking about whether or not running away with Casandra might have been the better choice; not when she still had the opportunity to actually do so. She had to choose a resolution and be one hundred percent convinced of that, forever.  
  
A part of herself felt the instinct to get up, run to Casandra, knock on her cabin door and tell her that she didn't need to wait for her, because she was perfectly aware of what she wanted: for them to be together. And then she'd spend the whole night awake in her bed, doing nothing but kissing her and touching her. And for an instant, a very long instant, almost infinite, Carolina was really about to do so, to get up and run to her and ignore everything else, every duty, obligation, expectation and responsibility. But then another thought followed it, much sadder and anchored to reality: as much as that hypothetical scenario was wonderful and appealing, tomorrow would always come. She and Casandra could spend the night together where no one could see them, but what was going to happen once the sun would set in? What would they do? Where would they go? How would they live? Who would help them? Carolina was a married woman, if she abandoned Fernando she would commit a crime. And yes, she was attracted to Casandra, so bad. Carolina was deeply attracted to her and what they had was something intense and real. But that something could never become a reality. Not in the real world, not in _that_ life. It was kind of like reading a novel, a beautiful novel, one that takes your breath away from the first page to the last and makes you feel a myriad of emotions throughout the whole reading. But in the end it was just that, a novel, quite far from the everyday life. Or at least from _her_ everyday life.  
  
  
And even though Fernando had made mistakes, even though he had been on the verge of leaving her for another woman, in the end he hadn't. Carolina had been able to forgive him once and move on, she could do it again... couldn't she? And who knows, maybe over time things would just get fixed and they would start loving each other again and everything would go well. And, most of all, maybe she would stop having wrong feelings for women who had done nothing but lie to her and let her down (even if they had a valid reason for it). And Carolina would finally be able to silence the annoying voice in her head whispering about starry skies. Yes, that seemed like a much more real, concrete and reasonable resolution. It was the right thing for _her_ , unlike the other one; it would make her feel right with herself and live the rest of her life without any guilt. And then, running away with Casandra would not only mean leaving Fernando, but also Eva, Francisca, her uncle Pedro. Could she really do it? Her sister was obviously never going to approve her feelings for Casandra, she didn't even approve Casandra as a person until two days ago, let alone the idea of her being her a sister-in-law! Could Carolina really consider the option of living the rest of her days without ever seeing or talking to her sister again, the person she loved most in the world, the one who had always supported her in every situation and at any cost and always would? All of that just for Casandra? Someone she hardly knew and had constantly lied to her since day one? How could she trust that she wouldn't lie to her again, that she would never deceive her again, that she wouldn't eventually get tired of her or, realistically speaking, what if maybe things just wouldn't work out between them? Carolina would find herself alone, with no one by her side, and then it would be too late. Now Carolina had a choice. Now that she was thinking it through with a cool head, without being influenced by all those absurd, irrational feelings beyond her control, Carolina finally realized how absurd it was just the mere thought of running away with her. Yes, all right, she felt something for Casandra, so what? It was just a stupid feeling that would surely fade away. Her life had always made her happy; before meeting her, Carolina had never gone through all the existential crises she had been experiencing since she had entered her life. If she removed the root of the problem everything would be undoubtedly go to back to the way it used to be, and she would be happy again; she would get her life in order, eventually. Yes, that was the only way things could ever go.  
  
Convinced of her resolution, Carolina finally got up from the bench to return to her cabin, to Fernando. Her husband. After all, she had never really cared about the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit angsty, I know, and awfully long, I know this too, but I really had lots of things to say about this moment. I think that ultimately these were the reasons that led Carolina to choose Fernando over Casandra, it wasn't that she didn't want to be with her, but rather that everything had happened so fast between them and she just wasn't ready to make such an important decision yet. But this didn't meant that she chose Fernando because he actually made her happy, and season three proved this by showing us that her marriage was a complete failure. 
> 
> But if you want to read a much better and happier season two ending then I'd strongly suggest you go read estherroberts's one-shot like, right now, if you still haven't done it!
> 
> Thanks to those who are still reading! I have two chapters left to publish and then story's over!
> 
> Also, as far as the title is concerned, "Una ventana en las estrellas" is actually the title of a beautiful song, more specifically it's the Spanish version of an Italian song actually that is called "Una finestra tra le stelle", the lyrics reminded me of Casandra and Carolina and their story so that's why I chose it.


	16. XVI

_Rio de Janeiro, one year earlier_  
  
One of Carolina Villanueva's biggest flaws was her tendency to be a tremendously indecisive person, as well as an inveterate overthinker. She had tried over and over to turn off that part of her brain that kept thinking about Casandra and wondering what her life would be like if that night on the deck she had found the courage to go after her and tell her how she really felt, to give voice to what she really wanted. But she hadn't been able to bring herself to do it. The fear of the unknown, of going against her morals and beliefs suffocated her, overwhelmed her and immobilized her. It made her completely unable to oppose a force that Carolina perceived as stronger than her. That very same force was exactly what was holding her still in that moment, her feet glued to the pavement. As she was completely paralyzed and her heart threatened to burst inside her chest, she watched the figure of Casandra Lenormand across the street walking towards her home, where she was probably about to return. Carolina had arrived there about an hour earlier, but she hadn't had the courage to cross the street and knock on the door. Right then she realized that perhaps it had been better this way: if she had, she definitely wouldn't have found the person she was looking for.  
  
She had practically crossed Rio de Janeiro from one end to the other just to see her, to talk to her, and now that she finally had the opportunity to do so she was just standing there staring at her, completely helpless. Carolina felt her heartbeat getting faster and faster, her breathing getting more and more irregular, and suddenly her brain went cloudy, and it was as if in an instant she suddenly forgot everything she wanted to tell the other woman.  
  
Well, if Carolina was to be completely honest, she hadn't had a precise idea of that even when she had crossed the threshold of her house to go out and look for Casandra. She only knew that ever since Fernando had announced they were moving to another country, which would happen very soon, Carolina had been tremendously upset. She kept wondering if it was the right thing for her, if that was what she wanted too. If she was ready to leave everything behind, literally everything. Her mind kept replaying the last words Casandra had spoken to her when they had said goodbye, which Carolina had never been able to erase from her mind: "I hope you'll be very happy." That's it. A simple sentence, capable of causing a thousand existential doubts in her. Was Carolina happy? Had she ever really been happy? If so, to what extent? In the past years, she had always been convinced that she was. Now she no longer knew the answer, but she was sure of one thing: the last year had been anything but happy. And the thought of Casandra and their other life together had been anything but absent.  
  
Carolina needed to see her one last time. She didn't know what she would say to her yet, she didn't know if she would ask her to just live together in Rio, or if she would propose to run away together and return to Spain. Carolina only knew that she had to see her. Even just one last time. She had to figure out if Casandra could actually make her happy, or if perhaps what she had felt was simply distorted by a situation of intense emotional stress that she had found herself living with her. She had to understand if the passing of time had distorted the memories she had of their moments together, making them more important and meaningful than they actually were, or if what they had was really worth fighting for. And to do that, Carolina needed to see her. Maybe she would end up discovering that it was all just a mental construct, and she could finally get to say goodbye to her happily and start a new chapter of her life.  
  
Now that she could finally see her with her own eyes though, Carolina was unable to move, to speak, to do anything at all. She silently watched the other woman walk back to her house, enter and close the door behind her. She spent a good ten minutes building up her courage, as she told herself she could do it and encouraged herself to knock and go talk to her. However, it was all useless. Her body didn't want to cooperate and her mind was completely blank, preventing her from putting together any coherent and cohesive thought. As she sadly realized that she just couldn't do it, at least right now, Carolina disconsolately decided to return to her home. Fernando was out of town during those days to sort out some pending business, so she wouldn't have to justify her absence to anyone. Maybe she just needed a little more time to process her feelings and make a final decision. Two things that Carolina had never been good at.  
  
When she went back to her house, to her surprise, she found Natalia waiting for her. Since she was Fernando's sisters, the servants had let her in without hesitation. When Carolina asked her what she was doing there, her sister-in-law just replied that she simply wanted to have a chat, and since Carolina wasn't home she had opted to wait for her. By now they were almost done with packing, so she didn't have much else to do anyway. Carolina's face darkened immediately at the mention of their immediate departure, mostly because she was reminded of how soon it would happen, and she hadn't yet made up her mind about what to do. It was a matter of seconds, but for a moment Carolina thought she saw the corners of Natalia's mouth lift up into a smirk: was she just testing her to see her reaction? Well, everything was to be expected from Natalia.  
  
However, Carolina knew it would be rude to send her away immediately, and despite not having the slightest desire to have anything to do with her, especially in such a delicate moment, when she actually needed to be alone and think carefully, her commitment to social conventions prevailed and led her to invite her to stop for dinner, albeit hoping with all her heart that Natalia would politely refuse the invitation. Yet something was telling her that this was exactly what Natalia wanted and expected of her, and in fact the other woman did not hesitate to accept the proposal right away.  
  
The result was a rather awkward and quiet dinner, in which Carolina's attempts to keep a conversation that could be regarded as cordial were so pitiful that she didn't even convince herself. Not even half an hour had passed when Natalia, evidently annoyed by the facade that both of them were somehow putting on, decided to ignore the pleasantries and explain in a straightforward way the real reason why she wanted to talk to Carolina:  
  
-Carolina, honey, there is no delicate way to say this so I think I'll go straight to the point: you and I perfectly know that you are not in love with my brother, and that leaving Rio with him is the last thing you want. I saw the way you reacted when he told you, I saw the way you look at him, and Fernando told me how things have been going between the two of you since you've been living here in Rio, so don't bother denying it, there would be no point. If you care about him and yourself at least a little, do both of you a favor and leave him. That's what you've been thinking about during these days, right? Whether to move to Buenos Aires with him or leave him for good. Here, you have your answer.  
  
Carolina was baffled for a moment. After a few seconds of bewilderment in which she had to actively process what Natalia had just told her, a feeling of irritation took hold of her. Natalia had just invaded a very personal and private sphere of her life; how dare she make completely random judgments based on nothing? After all, her sister-in-law knew absolutely nothing about her and Casandra, about their relationship, and surely there was a reason for that.  
  
-Excuse me, Natalia, but I think this is none of your business, - Carolina answered coldly, without even looking into her eyes. She didn't go so far as to deny what she had just said, also because, as Natalia herself had pointed out, there was no point. But at the same time she didn't even feel the need to give further explanations on the matter. It was simply a very personal topic, and she surely wouldn't share her thoughts and feelings with the other woman.  
  
-No, but it's my brother's business,- Natalia pointed out, -and since he's the only person I have left in the world, it's my duty to do what's best for him. Both he and you are obviously incapable to find the courage to break this relationship off even if you know it's not based on love anymore but rather on habit, and you prefer to cling to the idea of something that used to exist rather than looking forward to the future. Trust me Carolina, if I had had the opportunity to leave my husband Aníbal years ago I would have jumped at it, without the slightest doubt. But apparently fate had other plans for me.  
  
Carolina sighed. For heaven's sake, not that Natalia was completely wrong but, then again, it wasn't something Carolina was willing to share with her. As much as she understood her concern for her brother and she probably would also have felt compelled to protect Eva's interests in her position, her persistence in meddling in matters that did not concern her only irritated Carolina even more.  
  
-I understand your concern for Fernando, but I don't owe you any explanation about my personal life.  
  
-All right, fine, - Natalia finally gave up, and Carolina (erroneously) thought that the conversation was finally over. But only for a brief second, since shortly after Natalia continued: - I just thought that maybe it would be good for you to have someone to talk to and express your doubts, since they are literally eating you alive, but if you prefer, I'll just pretend not to know that you're still thinking about your clairvoyant and that you're considering running away with her.  
  
At this sentence, Carolina gave her a look halfway between angry and bewildered. How did Natalia know about Casandra? She had never mentioned her before, although a couple of times she had seen them together, but that was one year ago. It did not make any sense.  
  
-Before you ask, - Natalia explained, -I have my informants too. I heard you inquired about her months ago, that you got her address. I don't know if you wrote to her or if she did, but the fact that you thought about it and you tried to get in touch with her already speaks for itself. Am I wrong?  
  
Carolina remained motionless, paralyzed. Again, her fear got the better of her. Of course, Natalia was not the first person to know about her relationship with Casandra, at the time Carolina had also talked about it with Eva, albeit briefly. But now it was different. Eva was her family, and Carolina had never felt judged by her. Now, however, the idea that an external person knew about them, even if to a small extent, the idea that she was aware that Casandra had been more than a friend to her was scaring the hell out of Carolina.  
  
-I don't know what you're talking about, - Carolina cut short, keeping her gaze fixed on the empty plate in front of her. -Casandra and I have never seen each other again, that's all you need to know. -Then, as she started to get up from the table, she quickly added: - Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm not hungry anym-  
-Carolina wait- Natalia ordered her, grabbing her wrist. -I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so direct. Nobody's judging you here, seriously. Please sit down. I just want to help you, okay?  
  
If Carolina had followed her instincts, she would not have hesitated to free herself from her grip and run to her own room, doing her best to forget that conversation ever happened. But what would it lead to? It was clear that for some reason Natalia wanted to discuss her love life with her (perhaps lack of other things to do?), and it wasn't looking like Carolina's obvious reluctance was enough to convince her to give up. If Carolina had brutally shut her out again instead of giving her what she wanted, she had no idea what Natalia could do. Perhaps, as she examined the matter with a clear mind, it might have been better to just tell her what she wanted to know and make sure it didn't occur to her to talk to Fernando. Well, not that it actually would have made much difference at that point. Whether they liked it or not they were destined to stay married, and it wasn't like Fernando could do much to make her life more miserable than it already was. But then again, the less people knew the better it was, and that included her husband. The very idea that Natalia knew - or even that she just had suspects - upset her a lot, so her best option was to do everything in her power to limit the damage that stubborn woman could cause her.  
  
Carolina sat down, nodding silently. Then she braced herself and finally turned to look Natalia in the eyes. -What do you want to know? - she asked irritably, in what was just a little more than a whisper. As if it were a secret to be hidden at all costs, even from the walls, despite the fact that there was no one around who could hear them.  
  
-Is it true, then? Do you want to leave Fernando?- Natalia asked, raising her voice. Carolina shifted her gaze to the table.  
  
-I don't know,- she said. After all, it was the truth.  
  
-Haven't you decided yet?  
  
-No.  
  
-But you're considering it?  
  
Carolina nodded, remaining silent. Lying would be of little use now.  
  
-And Casandra? If you run away without telling him, would she go with you?  
  
-I don't know,- Carolina repeated, hoping with all her heart that the conversation would end as soon as possible.  
  
-What do you mean you don’t know? Didn't you tell her about it?  
  
-I told you, I haven't seen her since we got to Rio. - It was certainly not her fault that Natalia hadn't believed her.  
  
-All right, so why did you get information on her? Don't tell me it was just out of boredom.  
  
-I wanted to see her, but in the end I didn't. Are you satisfied?  
  
-What do you mean you didn't?  
  
Carolina sighed. That woman's arrogance was hardly surprising by now. -I just didn't, Natalia, I couldn't bring myself to talk to her, - Carolina explained, exasperated. Then, as she sensed that her monosyllabic answers weren't likely to satisfy her sister-in-law's curiosity, she finally decided to add: - Today I went to her house because I wanted to see her at least once before leaving to say goodbye to her - which wasn't exactly false, -but when I got there I couldn't knock and I just sort of stood there. And then I came back here. Happy?  
  
-And you wanted to ask her to leave with you?  
  
-I don't know. - _Yes._ -Maybe. -It doesn't matter, in the end I didn't. I will leave with Fernando for Buenos Aires and I'm sure we'll learn how to be happy together again, over time. Is there anything else?  
  
But of course Natalia wasn't that stupid and she didn't believe a word of all that.  
  
-You don't want to be with my brother, Carolina. I don't know if this woman is what you want, but you don't love Fernando, that's plain to see. I think the servants have noticed too.  
  
Carolina didn't answer, or at least not right away. For a few moments she continued to stare at the table, then nodded weakly. She and Fernando had grown so distant that the coldness of their relationship could almost be perceived and felt within the walls of that house.  
  
-What about Casandra?  
  
-What about her?  
  
-Are you... do you want to be with her?  
  
-I don't know.  
  
Natalia looked at her in silence, waiting for her to elaborate on that, but the thing was that Carolina herself _actually_ didn't know what she wanted. -It's been a long time ago, maybe she doesn't even care about me or she's already forgotten.  
  
-But you haven't forgotten her,- Natalia pointed out.  
  
-Yeah, and it doesn't make any sense, Natalia. We've only spent a week together, she barely knows me and I barely know her, not to mention the fact that she spent most of those days lying to me.  
  
-Well, a week is still something, if you consider that you were on a ship, so all in all you spent practically every single day together for a whole week.  
Carolina nodded. Even if it wasn't that much, they actually got to talk a lot. But even so...  
  
-I mean, you're still thinking about her so it obviously still counts for something.  
  
-It's just that... - Carolina wanted to say something back, but the truth was that she had no idea what to say. -It's just that, as stupid as it may seem, I've never felt such a deep connection to anyone else in my life. And the things she said to me, what we said to each other... I don't know Natalia, I keep thinking about it. I don't know if I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but I do know that I feel like what I have with Fernando is not enough for me anymore. It's like those days with her had changed my perspective on everything... but, you know, if I think about having to start over with her, in a new place where I don't know anyone or anything, without Fernando... I don't know, it scares me a lot. I don't know if I can do this.  
  
Carolina was surprised by all the things she had managed to confess to Natalia, which she apparently needed to tell someone. The weight of all her doubts had slowly smothered her more and more every day over the course of that interminable year, but ever since Fernando had announced their imminent departure from Rio, Carolina had begun to feel as if she was no longer able to breathe.  
  
Well, she hadn't been totally honest with Natalia, it wasn't really true that she had never thought of her and Casandra together, of a new life with her. Sometimes she had imagined what it would be like to live with her, without even knowing why. Those thoughts didn't make any sense, but somehow they made her feel good. Except they were just that, a fantasy. The thought of turning them into a concrete reality was as frightening as it was unrealistic. But now that she was saying it aloud and verbalizing it, she slowly realized that no matter how scary it seemed, she wanted it. Just as she had wanted it one year ago, and she had missed the opportunity like a fool. Did she have the courage to do it now?  
  
-Why don't you write her a letter and tell her all these things you've just said to me?  
  
At first, Carolina was a little surprised by Natalia's proposal. A letter? It actually made sense. Carolina knew herself well enough to know that if she had to go there in person to talk to her, the result probably wouldn't be so different from what had happened earlier that day. And even if she did manage to talk to her, she probably would end up having a thousand second thoughts and insecurities. But a letter would make everything much easier. It would allow her to express her thoughts much easily and in a much more structured and orderly way.  
  
-Yes, that's not a bad idea, - Carolina said, finally looking Natalia in the eyes.  
  
-But you can't wait too much to do it Carolina, there's not much time left...  
  
-Why are you doing this?- Carolina asked her suddenly. -Why are you encouraging me to leave?  
  
-Because that's what's best for Fernando, as well as for you. He will have a fresh start and move on, and you'll be with someone who can actually make you happy. That is convenient for everyone, right?  
  
It was amazing how Natalia's utilitarianism could emerge even in such circumstances. Anyway, now there was something else she needed to consider. Could Casandra possibly want to run away with her? Just as it wasn't an easy choice for Carolina, it certainly wasn’t easy for her either. And then, where would they go? How would they live? There were so many things to think about. They probably should have discussed it together.  
  
Encouraged by Natalia's idea, Carolina decided that writing to her would be the most sensible option. Once Natalia was dismissed, Carolina withdrew into her room. She took a paper sheet, a pen and began to... stare at a blank page for a good thirty minutes. She tried to come up with a few words, then crossed them out and started over. She tried to think about some sort of way to open her letter and wrote it down, but then she read it again and it all sounded so stupid that she didn't even finish the sentence and simply decided to take a new paper sheet and start over. Carolina closed her eyes and sighed, putting a hand to her temple. She could do it. She knew what she had to say, she had it in her mind. She had also told Natalia just before. Why was it so difficult to write it down then?  
  
_You know. Deep down, you always know._  
  
Casandra's words rang in her head, which reproduced the sequence of events that happened immediately after that sentence. Carolina thought back to what she had felt back then, during their first kiss, the fear of being discovered, the guilt caused by something she knew was fundamentally wrong, but also the feeling of freedom that a small and simple gesture like that could evoke in her. She thought about the possibility of living another life with her and experiencing that freedom every single day, from the moment she got up in the morning until when she closed her eyes in the night. The exact opposite of the sense of suffocation and constriction that had been accompanying her for about a year. It was all she needed to find the strength to pick up the pen and finally start writing:  
  
"Dear Casandra,  
when we said goodbye, the last thing you said to me was that you hoped I would be very happy. Perhaps you will be disappointed to learn that I don't have any idea what makes me happy anymore. But I do know that I often think about the days I spent with you, just as I still think about you. I have thought of writing to you many times, of seeing you even. I was wondering how you were, what kind of life you were leading. Whether you’re happy or not. Whether you're still thinking about me too. But I never found the courage to do it and ask you all these things. I guess maybe a small part of me hoped you would write to me, but I understand why you didn't, since the last thing I said to you was that I never wanted to see you again, or at least that I hoped so. Back then I thought it was the right thing for both of us, that what we felt for each other couldn't lead to anything good. But now I wonder if perhaps trying to repress it was a mistake.  
  
Fernando told me he wants us to move to Buenos Aires. Given the kind of maiden voyage the Bárbara De Braganza had, it was obvious that business couldn't get off to a good start. And your sister's scandal, if possible, has only made things worse. Fernando had a hard time finding new clients who would trust him with their safety, no one wants to travel on a ship that has witnessed so many deaths in such a short time. But lately he has started doing business with some Argentine companies, and things have improved. He is happier too. In Buenos Aires we could start all over again, we could find new clients, restart the business. Maybe it could really be our second chance to be happy. Still, this wasn't my first thought when he told me. My first thought was of you. I thought that if I do leave Rio now, we will never meet again. We will never have our life together, and I will spend the rest of my days wondering what would have happened if instead I had found the courage to pick up the pen and write to you.  
  
If you still think about me too, if our connection really was real for you and if you don't want me to leave, then meet me tomorrow night at 9 p.m. at the port, where our ship docked a year ago. If you come, then I will know there's still a chance for us. If you've moved on, then I'll do the same and I'll just forget about you. Whatever you choose, I promise you that I will do my best to fulfill your last wish and try to be happy, with or without you.  
  
Yours,  
  
Carolina.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Penultimate chapter posted. I actually wanted to draw a parallel between Carolina's condition shortly after leaving Casandra and how things had evolved over time, when she dealt with the consequences of her decision. That's why I posted this part in the end. I hoped you liked the chapter!


	17. XVII - Epilogue

_Present time, three weeks later_

Eva Villanueva was about to get on the ship that would bring her back to Buenos Aires. Her book presentation had gone very well, just like the meetings with the directors of the publishing houses, who had put her under contract for another two years. She and her sister had also taken advantage of that time in Mexico to explore the country and visit the cities that were close to Veracruz, and even though Carolina was acting a bit strange and slightly different than her usual, she had looked happier and more peaceful than she had ever been in the last few years. Things between her and Fernando were going so well that the two had decided to stay another month in Mexico and enjoy their newfound happiness. Sure, after the ship's course had been diverted the Fábregas family had lost a lot of money, but they would slowly get back on their feet, as they always did. At least Fabio had recovered the virus before it could spread inside the ship and no one had been put in danger; it was really absurd to think that the person who had created such a lethal weapon had apparently passed off as a simple maid (the one who was in charge of cleaning her own room, by the way.) Even though Eva hadn't been able to help him with the operation due to her confinement inside Fernando's cabin, she was still happy to know that everything had gone smoothly. But now it was time to return to Buenos Aires, a lot of work commitments awaited her in the city where she now resided on a permanent basis.

The young woman was at the port waiting to embark when she heard a familiar voice behind her calling her name. Eva turned around and couldn't believe her eyes: Verónica was standing a few meters away from her, her back slightly bent forward as she tried to catch her breath. She must have run to get there in time, she thought.

-Verónica! - Eva exclaimed, her voice overflowing with enthusiasm. Without a second thought she ran to the other girl and hugged her tightly. -My God, Verónica, it's so good to see you, we were all so worried about you! We thought we had lost you. What happened to you?

When Eva, Natalia, Fernando and Carolina had finally gotten out of their cabin, one of the first things they had discovered was that Verónica and another passenger, a certain Diana, Carmen's daughter, had mysteriously vanished into thin air. The authorities had been looking for them all over the ship for days, but with no success. Eventually they had been reported missing, but even if no one had explicitly said so they were all pretty sure they had fallen overboard. What other explanation could there be? Dimas had been mourning her disappearance for days. And now, as if by magic, Verónica was there, alive and well, safe and sound. A little short of breath, but definitely fine. Eva's vacation couldn't have ended with better news.

-I... it's really complicated and we don't have much time, it's a long story, soon you'll have to board and your ship will leave. I just came here to give you this.

She then raised her right hand, in which she was actually holding a white envelope that looked like it contained a letter.

-A letter? Did you write me a letter?- Eva asked, looking first at the object and then at her interlocutor, directly in the eyes.

-No, it's not from me.

-Who wrote it, then?- Eva asked, frowning. All that mystery was beginning to intrigue her.

-I can't tell you now, but when you read it you will find out and you'll understand everything.

-Okay, - Eva answered with uncertainty, taking the letter and putting it inside her bag.

-I have to go now, - Verónica said, -it was nice to see you again. Be well and good luck with your next book.

-Thank you, it was nice for me too, I'm glad to know that you are okay. Good luck to you too, with everything.

Verónica smiled at her, and the next moment she disappeared into the crowd. Eva didn't know why, but she had a feeling that this was the last time they would meet. Later, when the ship finally departed and she was comfortably accommodated in her first-class cabin, Eva made herself comfortable on her bed and finally opened the envelope, driven by the curiosity to know its contents. As she had predicted, someone had written her a letter. As soon as she read the first three words she immediately recognized Carolina's handwriting. What was going on? Why had Verónica brought her a letter from her sister, if they had said goodbye to each other not even two hours earlier? However, as soon as she started reading, just as Verónica had told her everything immediately became clearer...

  


_Dear Eva,_

_this is your sister writing to you, Carolina. When you read this letter, I will be very, very far from you. And the thing I regret most is that I couldn't even say goodbye, see you one last time, give you one last hug. Maybe it's for the best, you know I've never been good at goodbyes, or more generally at letting things go. I know it will seem absurd and I very much hope you will believe me, but the person you think is me right now, your sister, Carolina, is not really me. Or rather, yes, she's your sister anyway, but she's not me. I know, it's crazy to say it and even I didn't believe it at first, but the truth is that I have a twin sister. We have another sister. Don't ask me how it's possible because I don't know, but it's the truth. Her name is Diana. You probably didn't notice, or maybe you did, there's no way for me to find out, but on our second day on the ship I was kidnapped. Diana pretended to be sick, she had her face covered in bandages and she was in a wheelchair, but it was actually her. And she was perfectly healthy. With the complicity of her fake mother, Carmen, they kidnapped me and she took my place, while I was passed for her. They drugged me so that I couldn't leave, I couldn't move. By now I'm sure you must have noticed a lot of inconsistencies in "my" behavior, or at least that there's something off, that she did things that I never would have done nor said. Now you know why._

_I won't go into details as to why Diana was on that ship because it's not relevant right now, all you need to know is that if I hadn't found a way to escape she would have killed me to take my place permanently. Even though I was drugged I was conscious for the whole time and I could hear her talking, she said she wanted my life, that she liked having a family, a sister, a husband. I heard her say she was happy with Fernando and I am happy about that. Luckily I was able to leave the ship before she could carry out her plan and I'm safe now. But I never would have done it without Casandra. This is quite a long story and it would take me a lot to explain it, all you need to know is that Casandra met Diana in prison and found out about her plan, so she secretly got on the ship just to protect me. During the masquerade ball, while everyone was distracted, thanks to Pierre's help the ship stopped for a moment and we escaped together in a lifeboat. Verónica came with us, that night she was with me in my room and there was no time to tell her everything and convince her not to say anything about Casandra._

_The next morning I woke up in Caracas and Casandra was there by my side. She told me everything that had happened, she told me about Diana. And she told me she had never stopped thinking about me, that she hadn't returned to Spain and had decided to stay in Rio just for me. And I... I never stopped thinking about her too, though I never told you because I was too afraid you might have judged me for that. I know you don't like her, I know you think she lied to us, that her mistakes shouldn't be forgiven, that she put so many people in danger. But I have been talking to her a lot ever since I'm here and she has changed a lot. She's so much more than the person who invented ghost stories to avenge her sister, and I'd really like you to get to know her for who she is and leave the past behind. She's a really sweet and understanding person, she listens to me, she understands me, she makes me feel appreciated and imporant; I've never felt so close to anyone else before. And I have never felt such a strong connection with anyone else in my entire life. I think I love her. I wasn't happy with Fernando and you know it too, maybe I have never really been happy at all. I had to settle for him, for the small amount of time and attention he gave me. What I feel for Casandra is something else entirely. I think I've realized for the first time how nice it feels to just let another person take care of you._

_The days I've spent with her here have been wonderful. We visited the city, we went to the mountains, we had picnics on the beach. The beaches here are spectacular, I wish you could have been with us to enjoy those moments. These have been some of the happiest days of my life, I have never felt so free before, it was such a wonderful feeling. And I'm no longer willing to ignore it or give it up or pretend it doesn't exist. I've been doing it for too long and I just can't do this anymore. On our first day here Casandra told me that within a week she would take a ship headed for Italy to go to her relatives, they live in France, in Nice. She told me that if I wanted to there was another ship headed for Veracruz that would make me go back to you and Fernando, expose Diana and take my life back. And then she asked me to leave with her. She told me she had bought me a ticket for both ships, and that the choice was up to me. At first I was very confused, I didn't know what to do... on the one hand I wanted to accept her proposal, but on the other I was really scared, I didn't want to spend the rest of my life without ever seeing you again. I told her that I needed some time before giving her an answer and I have been thinking about it a lot lately, maybe even too much. And I've come to the conclusion that I want to be with her. She told me that her family is rather influential, they could introduce me to important designers, I could work in an atelier and learn the ropes. Maybe one day I'll even open my own! Can you imagine it? That would be a dream come true. I want all of this. My place is no longer in Buenos Aires, nor next to Fernando. I want to find my place in the world by myself. I hope that you will be able to forgive me for this, and that you won't think I'm abandoning you because I'm not, I can assure you of that._

_I don't know when you will read this letter but once you go back to Buenos Aires I will call you and I hope I'll be able to speak to you, I will tell you everything that this piece of paper didn't allow me to write. I miss you so much and I know that in the coming months I will miss you even more, but I feel that this is the right choice. I'll do my best to try and save money and I'll come to see you as soon as possible, or alternatively you could come to us in France and I will introduce you to my new world. Unfortunately I won't be able to use my real name, since I am technically married and I could be sued for abandonment of the marital home, but Casandra has taken care of this. Just as Diana took my identity, I ended up taking hers, at least officialy. One more thing. Don't be too hard on her. I know it may sound like an absurd request since she tried to kill me, but Casandra told me about her past and she has been through a lot. She has suffered a lot, I think she also deserves a family and someone who could genuinely love her. I'm just asking you to give her a chance and get to know her before pushing her away. I'm sure she will end up loving you as much as I do, over time. I have to ask you not to reveal the content of this letter to anyone for obvious reasons, the only ones who know the whole story are you and Verónica. I hope to see you again soon sis and that you will understand my choices, even if they might be different from yours, from what you would have made. No matter what happens, you'll be in my heart forever._

_With love,_

_Carolina._

...

  


  


_Meanwhile, somewhere in the Mediterranean Sea_

-So what did you do when you didn't see me come?

\- Nothing, I just waited for you.

The faint moonlight coming in from the small window of the third-class cabin occupied by Casandra and Carolina was enlighting both women's faces, as they were snuggling on the upper bunk bed in the room. Carolina closed her eyes and felt Casandra's hand gently caressing her cheek; then, she placed two fingers under her chin and gently lifted up her face, while her lips met Carolina's in a tender kiss. It wasn't the first time she had talked to Casandra about the letter she had written to her, but the first time they had dealt with the subject Carolina hadn't really told her that much about it; perhaps because they had so many things to discuss that that old story had just faded into the background. It could have easily been summarized as an attempted rapprochement by Carolina which unfortunately, due to reasons beyond their control, had not succeeded. That night, however, for some reasons the topic resurfaced and so Carolina had told her about her letter in more details. She had described the evening when Natalia had come to her house and the reasons that had led her to address Casandra through a letter, the things that she had written to her. In a way, reliving those sad moments made her feel a little melancholic, especially if she thought back to the night when she had waited for Casandra under the rain for what had felt like an eternity, as a sense of disappointment and discouragement were intensifying by the second. Luckily, now it was a completely different story: she just had to look up to see the other woman beside her, she could hold her, feel her and kiss her.

-Did you have to wait long?- Casandra asked, as she ran her fingers through Carolina's soft blond hair. Carolina nodded.

-Two hours, - she replied, -and it was raining. You should definitely make it up to me now, you know that, right? - she jokingly replied.

Casandra bit her bottom lip. -It breaks my heart when I think about it. If I had known, I would have run to you immediately, without hesitation.

Carolina nodded, and Casandra placed a tender kiss on her forehead. In her mind, the idea of running away with Casandra had always terrified her to death. Yet, now that she had finally done it, she was feeling anything but scared. She felt safe in her arms; protected. Of course, she still had a lot of doubts about their future life and the challenges they were going to face, but she was sure of the decision she had made. And then, Casandra's presence made her feel protected, as well as her kindness and all her displays of affection. Carolina was just starting to finally realize how good it felt to be loved like that.

-I know, - Carolina replied. She smiled at Casandra as she clung to her even tighter. She wasn't cold, quite the opposite in fact; she just enjoyed the warm feeling of Casandra's body under hers. -It's not your fault.

-I know, but if I had written to you it wouldn't have happened... - Casandra said.

-I told you I didn't want to see you anymore, you had your reasons. Actually, I appreciated the fact that you have always respected my will, that you never tried to force me to do anything. I remember that Eva and Fernando thought you were manipulating me, they constantly told me to stay away from you. But I've never felt forced to do anything. Every time I looked for you, I talked to you, I spent time with you, it was because I wanted to. I just really wanted to see you and... be with you. And I have always defended you against them, but I didn't do it because I felt pressured into doing so, I did it because I really thought you were a wonderful person and that they were simply misjudging you. I wanted them to see it too, to appreciate you.

Carolina saw Casandra smile at her and felt herself melt inside.

-Carolina, you are too good. Maybe I didn't deserve your trust, given how much you suffered because of me...

-I know you do, I've never had any doubts about it. I wouldn't have risked getting shot if I hadn't been sure of that, if I hadn't known that you loved me as much as I did, and I wouldn't be going to live on the other side of the world just to be with you.

Casandra giggled as she gave her an adoring look. -You will love the Cote d'Azur. I can't wait to take you around the hinterland, and visit Italy.

-And I want to go to Paris.

-Haven't you already been there?

-Yes, but it doesn't count. I was just a little girl. Going there with you would be completely different.

-Okay, then we'll go to Paris too, - Casandra promised her with a soft smile. -Were you hurt? When you didn't see me come, I mean.

Carolina nodded. -Yeah, I was. I thought you had lied to me when you had told me that what we had was real, I thought you had just played me the whole time, and I felt even more stupid since I had actually believed your words. That's why when I woke up and Veronica told me you were the one who had saved me from Diana, I couldn't believe it.

-I'm so sorry Carolina, really, - Casandra reiterated. -We could have avoided so many dangers back then...

Carolina felt Casandra's hand caress her back as she closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of her touch on her bare skin. She felt a shiver run through her body as she found herself silently craving for more. Then Casandra gently kissed her forehead at first, then her lips, as Carolina immediately responded by kissing her back. That was another thing she loved about Casandra: while Fernando had never been overly fond of physical contact, Casandra showered her with physical affection all the time (mostly when they were alone), something which Carolina greatly appreciated.

-But then we found our way back to each other. And I'm really glad you and Erich made up in the end. He loves you very much.

Casandra nodded. -Yes, he just wanted to protect me. He thought that if we had just run off together with nowhere to go we would have probably ended up ruining our lives and being miserable. He insisted so much on returning to Spain, to my family, on having a fresh start there... But I always refused.

-And why didn't you come back?- Carolina asked, even though she already knew the answer. It was still nice to hear her repeat it, she had to admit.

-Because you were in Rio, and as long as there was a chance of meeting you again I wasn't going anywhere. But you already know this, don't you?

Carolina smiled guiltily. -Yes, I know. I just like to hear you say that.

-Then I'll repeat it as much as you want, Carolina Villanueva. Every time I'd leave my house I kept hoping to run into you by chance. The idea that starting tomorrow we are going to live together, that I'll get to see you every time I woke up, almost doesn't seem real.

-I know, it's the same for me, - Carolina confirmed. The idea that she wasn't going to live with Fernando or Eva anymore, without knowing when they would see each other again (or if they ever would) was so abstract and absurd that Carolina had not yet fully realized it. Her sister had always been a fundamental part of her life, ever since she could remember. She just hoped Eva could ever forgive her for her choice...

Casandra had probably noticed her momentary sadness, as she gently stroked her chin and asked her: -Is everything okay?

Carolina nodded and smiled at her: -Yes, I'm okay. I was just thinking about my sister... that I won't be living with her anymore. I'm going to miss her so much.

-I know, - Casandra replied, -but you explained what happened, Eva will understand, I'm sure of that. She also knew that you weren't happy with Fernando, I'm sure she wants what's best for you. She will come to visit us as soon as she can, you'll see, perhaps over Christmas. And when you meet again, she will be proud of her sister, since you'll clearly become the best designer in all of France.

Carolina laughed. -I appreciate your support, but it's probably going to be way too early for that. We'll have to find a job and save some money, look for our own place. I mean, we can't stay with your family forever, and then I'll have to focus on learning how to become a good designer, gain experience... I have a long way to go before I see one of my drawings turn into an actual dress.

-Yes, it's a long way to go, - Casandra agreed, -and I'm going to stay by your side the whole time, - she promised her, weaving their fingers together. -And you don't have to worry about my family anyway, my aunt has certainly no financial issues, we can stay with them as long as we need.

-I know, but I don't want to abuse their hospitality, - Carolina pointed out. -And also, I don't mind the idea of getting a place just for the two of us, you know. We could furnish it together, share our meals, invite guests over. It could be our new home.

Casandra smiled at her. -That does sound really good. At the end of the day I was right: we truly found each other in another life.

-We did. And in this life, I'm going to be very, very happy.

Casandra chuckled, as she got the reference to the very last words she had said to Carolina two years earlier, in the moment they had said goodbye. Carolina leaned forward to give her one last kiss, then rested her head on Casandra's chest and closed her eyes, as she began to doze off. Tomorrow they would finally arrive; and everything was going to be different.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are! The fic's finally finished. I've basically put you through an endless amount of angst just to give you this one last chapter of pure fluff. Those who have read my one-shot will know that Carolina being a designer was a reference to that as she talked about her passion for fashion there, which was actually supposed to be a chapter of this fanfiction. Thanks to those who have read it until the end and supported me, it means a lot to me to know that other people appreciated Carolina and Casandra's beautiful love story! If you want to read other stories about them, you should all go check out estherroberts's wonderful fanfictions!
> 
> The ending was a clear parallelism to their last words in season 2, with the difference that at the moment they couldn't be together, whereas in my ending they have a whole life ahead of them and they'll be able to live it together just like they deserve <3 I hope you appreciated the alternative ending I created for them and also my alternative season three!


End file.
